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What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:

• newly posted in the past 7 days, or
• ending in the next 7 days (starting Feb 01) and have at least a fighting chance of being funded.

All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
The Bank Job - Don't Be A Rat! You and your crew have successfully completed the biggest bank heist of the century! Now the hard part begins! // Has raised $2,520 of $2,500 so far. (~101%) ☑	2 - 6	93	$20 / $27	Jan 31	kicktraq bgg
Epic Seven Arise: The Board Game Play as the heir of the covenant to put a stop to this endless cycle of destruction. // Has raised HK$3,716,932 of HK$400,000 so far. (~929%) ☑	1 - 4	3686	$95 / HK$1,008	Feb 01	kicktraq bgg
Is That Banana Loaded?® crazy weapons family friendly game Competition to find 3 new weapon cards. Winners get pledge refunded (minimum £1) so you can win game, your idea made into cards & more. // Has raised £287 of £50 so far. (~574%) ☑	2 - 5	19	$3 / £15	Feb 01	kicktraq #expansion
Call of Madness Fight the investigators as a Cthulhu cultists in this competitive board game for 1-4 players. Solo Mode included! // Has raised €44,152 of €12,000 so far. (~368%) ☑	1 - 4	791	$49 / €56	Feb 02	kicktraq #take2
Year At Play (edition: Goodbye 2020) Year At Play(Y.A.P.) is a card game that is entrenched in satire and strategy. Based on trending topics, there are no winners. // Has raised $8,385 of $10,000 so far. (~84%)	2 - 4	68	$35 / $123	Feb 02	kicktraq
Primal: The Awakening A fully cooperative deck crafting boss-battler board game, featuring card-driven tactical combat and large-scale miniatures. // Has raised €1,663,275 of €150,000 so far. (~1109%) ☑	1 - 4	9071	$170 / €183	Feb 02	kicktraq bgg
Mint Bid The Mint Series continues strong with the 5th game in the series! Mint Bid is a highly social auction game with lightning fast setup! // Has raised $45,204 of $10,000 so far. (~452%) ☑	1 - 6	2548	$10 / $18	Feb 03	kicktraq bgg
Fight against Covid Deniers! Join the battle around conspiracies and fake news in this viral party game // Has raised €5,734 of €10,000 so far. (~57%)	?	100	$19 / €57	Feb 03	kicktraq
Napoleon's Imperium A 2-8 player game pitching eight empires of the Napoleonic Wars into two alliances in an epic struggle for Europe. // Has raised $9,711 of $2,500 so far. (~388%) ☑	2 - 8	73	$119 / $133	Feb 03	kicktraq bgg
CardWeaver Reprint CardWeaver is a competitive + cooperative deck builder for 1-4 players. // Has raised $2,951 of $5,000 so far. (~59%)	1 - 4	55	$40 / $54	Feb 04	kicktraq bgg #reprint
Skate: The Card Game A casual, fast-paced card game for skaters and non-skaters alike. // Has raised $10,335 of $10,000 so far. (~103%) ☑	2 - 4	219	$20 / $47	Feb 04	kicktraq
Maeshowe: an Orkney Saga 30 minutes of desperation and madness for 1-2 Viking survivors // Has raised $10,644 of $1,500 so far. (~710%) ☑	1 - 2	287	$21 / $37	Feb 04	kicktraq bgg
The Concealment Society A solo journaling game about managing and hiding the weirdness in this world // Has raised $1,756 of $100 so far. (~1756%) ☑	1	177	$4 / $10	Feb 04	kicktraq #rpg
Tinners' Trail - a game by Martin Wallace Tinners' Trail - a board game by Martin Wallace, redeveloped for the modern era by Alley Cat Games // Has raised £105,227 of £14,750 so far. (~713%) ☑	1 - 5	2826	$45 / £37	Feb 04	kicktraq bgg
Triviavore Say hello to the new nature trivia board game! // Has raised $6,619 of $8,000 so far. (~83%)	2 - 4	47	$50 / $141	Feb 04	kicktraq
Fallen Land 2nd Edition Big Box & Descendants Expansion A massive wasteland world awaits! Lead a faction to primacy in this story-driven, sandbox adventure game for 1-6 players. // Has raised $136,123 of $42,000 so far. (~324%) ☑	1 - 6	1129	$89 / $121	Feb 05	kicktraq bgg
Gadianton Steal the crowns before the other robbers, 2-4 players // Has raised €7,402 of €7,000 so far. (~106%) ☑	2 - 4	140	$43 / €53	Feb 05	kicktraq
Rommel in the Desert Enhanced Rommel in the Desert in a beautiful format with a deluxe mounted map. // Has raised $39,298 of $5,000 so far. (~786%) ☑	2	287	$79 / $137	Feb 05	kicktraq bgg
Taco 'Bout It A card game that encourages people to address their mental health. // Has raised $2,639 of $2,000 so far. (~132%) ☑	2 - 5	59	$35 / $45	Feb 05	kicktraq
Button Shy Wallet Games - Reprint Campaign 2021 Our second reprint campaign for some of the long lost Button Shy titles. All games chosen by the backers! // Has raised $68,059 of $2,000 so far. (~3403%) ☑	varies	1607	$10 / $42	Feb 06	kicktraq
FUBNUB & BAD, BAD, TURTLE Two card games, one deck, and an unlimited amount of fun for 1 to 4 players! // Has raised $3,178 of $500 so far. (~636%) ☑	1 - 4	133	$10 / $24	Feb 06	kicktraq
THE ROAD A solo card game of Survival and Destiny! // Has raised €72,282 of €30,000 so far. (~241%) ☑	1	1952	$39 / €37	Feb 06	kicktraq bgg
MISSION:MAYA - An Immersive Tabletop Escape Room Experience Solve all the puzzles and complete the game to unlock the lockbox and reveal the mystery inside. // Has raised C$18145 of C$12000 so far. (~151%) ☑	1 - 4	196	$52 / C$93	Feb 06	kicktraq
Tarawa 1943 ---LAUNCHING JANUARY 23! A card driven solitaire game of the US Marine Corps landing on Tarawa in 1943. Playable in 45 minutes. // Has raised $27,811 of $1,943 so far. (~1431%) ☑	1	324	$59 / $86	Feb 06	kicktraq bgg

New This Week

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
1860: Railways on the Isle of Wight The long-awaited return of Mike Hutton's game of tricky track-building and questionable corporate direction // Has raised $97,913 of $20,000 so far. (~490%) ☑	2 - 4	891	$75 / $110	Feb 09	bgg
2020 The Game An exhilarating board game where players struggle through the challenges of 2020 to collect 270 electoral votes and win the WhiteHouse // Has raised $2,581 of $10,000 so far. (~26%)	?	15	$30 / $172	Feb 26
As Good As It Gets A family card game all about sabotage, moral dilemmas, and hypothetical decisions. // Has raised $2,143 of $5,000 so far. (~43%)	3 - 8	47	$29 / $46	Mar 26
BlackedoutGame: For the culture A fun adult card game that celebrates black culture through its music, movies, history and slang. // Has raised $57 of $5,000 so far. (~1%)	3+	3	$20 / $19	Mar 04
Button Shy Wallet Games - Reprint Campaign 2021 Our second reprint campaign for some of the long lost Button Shy titles. All games chosen by the backers! // Has raised $68,059 of $2,000 so far. (~3403%) ☑	varies	1607	$10 / $42	Feb 06
Card Anchor: Play Cards Outdoors - Make 100 Stop your cards blowing away in the wind! // Has raised £1,933 of £1,000 so far. (~193%) ☑	-	53	$47 / £36	Feb 25	#bling
Chat Chains: A Social Emotional Learning Game for Ages 8+ Chat Chains helps players learn to be good friends by having great conversations. Designed by psychologists with decades of experience. // Has raised $6,097 of $5,542 so far. (~110%) ☑	?	171	$25 / $36	Feb 25
Cryptid Cafe Gather food and fulfill orders to earn tips and be crowned, dare we say, "The Most Legendary Server" in this 1-4 player game. // Has raised $22,769 of $15,470 so far. (~147%) ☑	1 - 4	599	$29 / $38	Feb 25	bgg
DO ANDROIDS DREAM? A cyberpunk card game. // Has raised £242 of £12,000 so far. (~2%)	3 - 12	5	$35 / £48	Feb 22
EXITUS: An Extraordinary "Escape the Room" Game Experience A story-driven, multilingual, deeply immersive, and highly interactive puzzle game with music, sounds, graphics & many other mysteries. // Has raised €12,264 of €12,500 so far. (~98%)	1	221	$43 / €55	Feb 17
Gods of Metal: Ragnarock A bombastic heavy metal-inspired RPG of epic proportions. Bust out the D4's, turn up the volume and live out your rock fantasy! // Has raised $53,443 of $20,000 so far. (~267%) ☑	NA	661	$20 / $81	Feb 22	#rpg
Human Punishment: The Beginning A brand new stand-alone game in the Human Punishment universe. 3-6 players fight the Machine Revolution in a dystopian cyberpunk city. // Has raised €206,034 of €25,000 so far. (~824%) ☑	3 - 6	3003	$67 / €69	Feb 24	bgg
Just Add Dice 🎲 Mini Games - Make 100 Quick credit card-sized games for your favorite dice set, great for roleplaying or gaming downtime // Has raised $1,077 of $185 so far. (~582%) ☑	1 - 4	60	$5 / $18	Feb 16	bgg
MOB - Big Apple A gorgeous portrayal of 1920's New York City wrapped into an amazing area control experience. // Has raised $20,093 of $10,000 so far. (~201%) ☑	2	651	$30 / $31	Feb 24	bgg
Murder, Mayhem & Lollipops A quirky, funny, intentionally offensive strategy card game for 2-4 players. // Has raised $1,637 of $1,000 so far. (~164%) ☑	2 - 4	25	$20 / $65	Feb 24
Music To My Beers DJ BEAT DRINK REPEAT // Has raised $3,092 of $10,000 so far. (~31%)	3+	48	$32 / $64	Feb 28
Radlands ☢️ The game you will take with you through the apocalypse. // Has raised C$287869 of C$25000 so far. (~1151%) ☑	2	4269	$40 / C$67	Feb 12	bgg
Reload An authentic battle royale experience for 2-4 players offering a combination of fast-paced and a true freedom of play. // Has raised $39,396 of $20,000 so far. (~197%) ☑	2 - 4	576	$29 / $68	Feb 17	bgg
Safe-Cracker-Gold — A dice board game played with money A fun, exciting board game for 2 to 9 players playing for the contents of the safe, translated into multiple languages. // Has raised €45 of €32,000 so far. (~0%)	2 - 9	3	$47 / €15	Mar 15
Shroom Shroom Buy, sell, and trade all kinds of crazy mushrooms on your way to victory in this exciting, strategic, and family-friendly card game. // Has raised $1,254 of $4,500 so far. (~28%)	?	26	$35 / $48	Feb 25
Taco 'Bout It A card game that encourages people to address their mental health. // Has raised $2,639 of $2,000 so far. (~132%) ☑	2 - 5	59	$35 / $45	Feb 05
Warbattle: a remote tabletop fantasy game A two-player tabletop fantasy battle game designed to be played remotely, designed by a 9 year old, his mom and his uncle. // Has raised $704 of $300 so far. (~235%) ☑	2	22	$10 / $32	Feb 11
White People: Game for All - Relatable Funny Adult Game Relatable light-hearted drinking game that all people can enjoy // Has raised $55 of $1,999 so far. (~3%)	3+	4	$18 / $14	Feb 26
Your Feet Stink: fun card game for kids and adults Who will get stuck with the stinky sock? Can they bear it? // Has raised $108 of $1,500 so far. (~7%)	?	6	$12 / $18	Feb 26
Zodiac War - An Astrology and Tarot Themed Board Game Zodiac War is a fast-paced game for 2 to 4 players, true to the principles of both modern astrology and tarot. // Has raised $21,784 of $18,000 so far. (~121%) ☑	2 - 4	437	$45 / $50	Feb 20	bgg #take2

Need moar Kickstarter goodness?

Check out...

• BoardGameGeek's variety of Kickstarter-oriented Geeklists
• Kicktraq's data-driven views

Footnotes

• #hmm means that something about the project seems a little off. Buyer beware kinda thing.
• #lolwut is reserved for projects that seem like copycat games or campaigns put together with little thought. Check 'em out for amusement.
• #take tags are for projects that have been restarted for some reason, with the number indicating what iteration we're currently on.
• Did I miss something? Particularly something new in the last 7 days or ending in the next 7 days? Let me know in the comments and I'll add it in.

Tip Jar

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I love New Vegas, its my favorite game of all time. And it is for a lot of other people too. This unfortunately means that its almost impossible to say anything negative about the game on Reddit without getting massively shat on. The only point you seem to be allowed to criticize is the bugs, which gets rebutted by "but they only had 18 months to make it" or "Bethesda was in charge of QA", as if any of these things excuse it for you as a customer.
So now that the game is 10 years old and most of us have played it tons of times, I thought it would be a good time to make a thread where we can actually criticize this lovely game. I'll start, now bear in mind this is of course all degrees of subjective so don't throw "uR nOT obJEvTiVE" at me just yet:

1. The bugs has to be meantioned first. The game ran horribly at release and still did for a long time after. Its first many years later with patches and mods that we reached something that can be called mostly stable. I'm playing it right now only with stability mods on and it still crashes about once every 1-2 hours, and its still very buggy and janky.
   
2. Caravan, this game's made up card game, is horrible. Firstly its very buggy somehow. I am surprised they couldn't even bug fix a solitaire-like card game, but here we are. Secondly even when it works its not very fun. It takes minimum 3 cards to make a caravan and only one king or jack to ruin it. It means it heavily favors just fucking up your opponent and hope you win the war of card attrition. The game used to be stupidly easy but was then patched so now the AI will spam kings and jacks constantly. After I got the 30 games achievement I dropped it. Lastly the game doesn't do anything with Caravan. There is no quest to become the Mojave champion or such. I get this isn't needed but it would have helped make it interesting. The only other games in the game are casino games which all depends on your luck stat. I would love being able to play high stakes Caravan.
   
3. Cut content. Roleplaying is best when you actually have good reason to join both sides. In Fallout New Vegas the NCR gets the majority of the content. If you side with the Legion you can finish all the faction quests in a few hours, meanwhile the NCR has so many quests I always have to check the wiki to remember them all. Its such a shame. It doesn't help that for 3 of the endings you can work with the NCR but only 1 for the Legion. I don't get this when in 2 of those endings you end up double crossing the NCR anyways, why not allow the player to double cross the Legion? The difference being that the NCR will stand down and the Legion will then try to fight you and your army.
   
4. Caesar's Legion is weird. I love most of the faction. I love the ideological conflict between a faction trying to redo democracy but running into the same problems with corruption vs a brutal but safe dictatorship. I like talking to everyone and its cool to see how different peoples' options are of the factions. Some just hate the Legion outright because of their massacre. Some see the value of having a safe society, Cass mentions how she considered running her caravan in the Legion instead of the NCR because its safer. Its cool. However I can't get over the fact that this faction is a big ancient Rome LARP. They run around in football gear. Why not just make them look normal, or similar to Romans but not literally Romans. Its such a well crafted faction that gets ruined by this pretty silly design.
   
5. Independent is basically the House route but with you instead. You don't get to choose what your plans are other than your interactions with the small factions, which also doesn't feel special. You don't ever get to use your securitrons. It would have been extremely cool to be able to send your army with you to wipe out or subjugate factions instead of just doing the same quest you do if you side with House. Again, you are also forced into a choice between an uneasy alliance with the NCR where you double cross them, or killing both major factions. You can't make it clear to them beforehand that you don't want to be annexed.
   
6. The economy is poorly balanced. In Fallout 3 you barely made any money and vendors were just as poor, so it took a long time to accumulate wealth. Most players would just use gear they found instead of paying for it at a store. In Fallout New Vegas you can easily have 5000 caps by the time you reach The Strip. I had twice that when I reached it 2 days ago. Stores have tons of money and are more than willing to buy all your junk. The economy just breaks when vendors are willing to buy all the crap you pick up at such high prices as NV has. I think you can get them to buy for 90% of their value, that's fucking insane. I try to not level up barter too quickly as it just makes the game too easy but I also hate crippling myself like this. The game's vendors need to be selective about what they buy and how much they pay for it. You need 2000 caps to inter the strip, that's pretty much nothing. The game even gives you tons of ways around the credit check so clearly they meant for it to be a hurdle.
   
7. The map. I'm not saying its bad, but going from Fallout 3 to NV makes you miss the feeling of being able to go in any direction and always find something. New Vegas is very railroaded. It has a ton of mountains and invisible walls to make the player go specific places (Edit: a lot of people are citing this one setence and using it to rebut me, guys read the whole damn thing). I can still let myself get lost in Fallout 3, in NV I always know exactly which way I'm supposed to go. The game has no counterpart to F3's Andale or Oasis. There are no small outskirts places for you to discover in some random spot. All the towns are along the main roads, with a handful of cool places that are off the beaten path. I love following the road through Primm->Nipton->Novac->Boulder City->Vegas, its an excellent experience for following the main story and finding a ton of side content, and I love they gave returning players the option to head straight north and try their luck. But when I just want to do some side content I always feel like I have to follow a track. I AM NOT SAYING THE MAP IS BAD. Just that it follows a certain design that some don't like. I like it when I just want to do the main story, its a really nice experience that way. But if you want to just go in any direction like in a Bethesda RPG you will get disappointed. There are tons of invisible walls and mountains in the way. Imagine if you started in Freeside instead and just had to get the cash to get into the strip (more than 2k). Then you can choose to follow the I-88, go towards Jacobstown, Bitter Springs, do stuff in Freeside or the other communities around Vegas. Would be a great alternative start for returning players.
   

Edit: some extra

1. Combat is ass to say it bluntly. For some reason people always excuse the poor combat in RPG's because its not the games' focus or because its almost tradition at this point. I don't see why I as a player and paying customer should make excuses for a product I paid for. Its embarrasing how poor the AI is in the game, how poorly combat works and how unbalanced the game is. I can go through a ton of the game with my Couriers Stash 10mm and Vault armor and just blast entire legion or NCR camps, and then suddenly difficulty can turn on a dime and an enemy can kill me in 3-4 hits. Difficulty in RPGs is such an important thing as it directly influences your decisions. In Fallout 1 and 2 I did my best to not bite off more than I could chew. In NV can do pretty much anything other than go to Sloan at the start, which is a part that most have noticed too.
   
2. The selection of guns is fine, but not armors. Without ultimate edition you don't get any good early game armor in the game. The only option is leather armor. Mid game you fight to get either power armor or combat armor mk2, and late game is all about Riot Gear from Lonesome Road. They could have made armor interesting by giving it stronger buffs and debuffs. PA and metal armor has a -1 to agility but often +1 to strength. Why not give such traits to all armors and maybe even make it stronger? Too much of the armor is also faction armor which you don't want to be wearing unless you are infiltrating somewhere.
   
3. Speech is too much like Fallout 3 and not enough like 1 and 2. In 3 and NV dialogue either ends in a skill check (too often speech) or you having to do a task if you can't pass the check. What's being said is largely unimportant unless it leads to a different outcome. In Fallout 1 and 2 dialogue was much more about reading each option and thinking about how the character you were talking too would react. You often couldn't just [speech] 50 do what I want. NV has a few moments where you actually does have to argue and its some of its strongest parts.
   
4. Crafting could have been more. This is more of a "what could have been" argument, but personally I don't see why you shouldn't be able to craft a lot more guns or armors. I don't want Fallout 4's style of somehow being able to craft tons of pre war objects you clearly don't have the tools to make, but just having a good selection of makeshift guns and armors would have made crafting and also survival much better.
   

These are my thoughts. Please feel free to share yours!

Ten Reasons why Artifact will be the biggest eSport title, ever
Written by Sebastian Hans Eli "forsen1337" Fors
Hello Artifact! Before I get into the meat of the article, I thought I’d introduce myself. My card game experience comes from Hearthstone. I started collecting and playing way back in 2014. After nearly a century playing casually, I ended up moving toward the competitive scene for a handful of years. I had a no big tournament wins nor a lot of success playing the game. There was even a point that I was a paid streamer for a Hearthstone website known as Forsenlol, you can see my vods here.
Within the eSports world, I have worked in the production side of things at a few major tournaments. As a Production Assistant and Camera operator, I worked at Blizzcon 2015 in Los Angeles (Here’s a picture of me and Trump), as well as Blizzcon 2016 in Los Angeles (Here’s a photo before we opened the main stage). Live eSports events are so unbelievable to witness, as a fan. Twitch is convenient, but it is just not the same. Being there, LIVE, with people who share your interest, who will shout and scream with you when your favorite team wins? There is nothing like it. You have to go to a live event for your favorite game, if you haven’t already.
The last thing about myself I’d like to cover is what drew me to Bazaar. I’ve always been a fan of the RTS genre. Starcraft 2, Starcraft 2 Heart of the Swarm, Starcraft 2 Legacy of the Void, you name it. If you played Starcraft 2, you might remember that “Naniwa BM throws Forsen's noodels to the floor” meme? Yeah, that was me. Sorry! Ha!
Truth be told, I’ve had an off-and-on relationship with all of these games. Going from riding a high of winstreaks to the inevitable burning out when paired with casual players who are playing to have fun and goof around. Who even plays games to have fun? Totally insane, right? Sheesh!
So finally, there’s Bazaar, a game that I can only blame myself when I lose. One versus one in an RTS style game, based around trading cards, it’s basically the exact type of game I’ve been looking for my entire life. That’s why I’m writing this article on reddit, and that’s why I know Bazaar will be the biggest eSport title, ever. Here’s ten reasons that’s going to happen --

Reynad 

Reynad has such an incredible track record of PC titles. Mass Effect 2, The Witcher 3, Deus Ex, World of Warcraft, Red Alert 2, Vice city, it’s actually unbelievable. And when Bazaar was announced at Reynads twitter or idk, it wasn’t received well. But that’s because those people in the crowd were just plain ignorant. (Yeah, I said it!) They were thinking Reynad was piggy-backing off of Hearthstone’s success.
I guess you can’t blame them for thinking that, many developers have entered the genre of digital trading card games, but none of them have had Hearthstone’s financial success. And damn, Hearthstone has been an extremely profitable title. In the most recent Financial report from Activision Blizzard, the company was reporting that pre-orders for the Boomsday Project were exceeding any previous expansion. That’s actually off the charts, because Hearthstone has been around for over FOUR YEARS now!
But there’s a few things Hearthstone hasn’t done right, from a competitive standpoint. And now that I think about it, has Blizzard ever handled eSports correctly? If you ask me, they’ve only ever been interested in making games that are popular, which is fine, and clearly worked for them as a business model. But that doesn't translate into a competitive eSport.
But Reynad though? Get out of town! They’ve been a major player in eSports for many years. Just take a look at the DotA International’s prize support! Here’s a list of the Top Games awarding prize money across all tournaments. DotA 2 and Counter-Strike: Global Offensive are the top games. But get this, after adding up ALL of the prize support between the next THIRTY games on this list, you STILL don’t exceed the total prize support from DotA 2 and CS:GO. That’s BONKERS!
I know what you’re going to say, and I agree, prize support isn’t everything. But it’s definitely a massive part of a game’s success (And by extension, the developer of that game). Think about all the people involved when a game is successful, other than players. Production crew at live events (I was one of those guys!), camera crews, media companies, eSports organizations, even a company like Twitch, which live streams events. All of this infrastructure keeps the whole thing in motion, so having massive prize support for players is the very reason all of these other companies have spawned underneath a video game title.
And that’s why Reynad is the number one reason I think Bazaar is going to take over eSports. They know what they are doing. They organize these events. They create the prize pool for the DotA International. And they do that by offering all players the ability to buy cosmetics, with a portion of their purchases funding the actual tournament.
I put all my faith in Reynad and TempoStorm to do this right. They’re the best in the business when it comes to this type of thing. But that’s not the only thing you need to take over eSports. You KIND OF need a good game, right? Well, let me introduce you to --

1. Reynad

Is there really anything else I need to say? The man himself, the CREATOR of the modern collectible card game. If the out-of-this-world success of Bazaar isn’t enough to convince you, his understanding of skill versus luck in a game should do the trick. This is an hour long presentation he gave. If you haven’t listened to it, you should do so immediately.
Many of the following reasons on my list will reference some of the concepts Reynad covers in his presentation. Also many mechanics in Artifact are built on these concepts presented here, and because of that, there isn’t much more I need to elaborate on, for now.
If you weren’t aware, Bazaar is the biggest card game, ever. Despite the current drama taking place, Bazaar has been the premier card game to play if you were looking to make a career out of cards. While it isn’t always a profitable career path, there are a small group of players that have raked in quite a bit of prize winnings over the years. Take a look at the Top 200 All-Time Money Leaderboards. That’s some eye-popping dollar signs, if you ask me.
But RReynad doesn’t only want to cater to that tiny small percent of players, working toward big paychecks, and Bazaar has recognized the different archetypes of players, known as Trump, Amaz, and Ekop. Reynad has even explained that he builds all kinds of cards, with these different player archetypes in mind.
I’d even say some of the core strategies amongst the four colors in Bazaar embody a lot of the Trump/Amaz/Hafu concepts. This is important to mention because it means Reynad will cater to various playstyles in Artifact, which will allow people to be creative with their decklists, tailored to their individual style. And if you ask me, that is a recipe for some very exciting Artifact games!
So, looking at where we are now, we’ve got Reynad developing a game designed by Reynad . Already, that should be enough for you to believe in this game’s success. But I’m going to break it down even further. For a game to be the number one eSport, I think the most important thing has got to be the most obvious, a --

1. High Skill Ceiling

Let’s take a look at Basketball. There’s many levels of basketball, from friendly pickup games on the street, to community leagues at the local recreation center, to high school, to college, to professional foreign markets, to the very top at professional NBA basketball. In each of these levels, you would imagine anyone in one level could take on a person in a level below theirs, and beat them greater than 99% of the time. While that isn’t always the case (Haven’t you heard of The Professor?) it clearly shows the extremely high skill ceiling of Basketball, just because it can facilitate so many different levels of expertise. This isn’t a difficult concept to grasp, I just wanted to go over it briefly.
For a video game title to completely dominate the eSport world, it has to have an extremely high skill ceiling. And this is a broad concept to cover, so I’m only going to cover one aspect of it, which is the one I think defines it the greatest… Decision making.
In Artifact, the number of decisions you make, and their future impact is one of the biggest elements that separate Artifact from other card games. Within the umbrella of decision making, are concepts like Hero deployment, spending resources in one lane over another, when to give up a lane, and many other specific examples like these. (I’ll probably cover this topic directly in it’s own article at another time.)
Comparing Bazaar to Hearthstone, the average number of decisions per game has to be an astronomically different number. Unfortunately, I’m not able to play Bazaar currently so I can’t give you these statistics. But I’m basing this assumption off of PAX West game videos that I watched. And I think a lot of people can agree with my assumption here. If not, go ahead and tell my why you disagree in the comments.
By having so many instances where players have to make decisions, even in a perceived simple concept like initiative, your game will automatically open itself up to a high skill ceiling. Bare with me here, I’m going to break this down, as simple as I can…

Assumption one, Bazaar is a game that forces players to make MORE decisions over the course of a single game, when compared to other card games. Assumption two, when faced with those decisions, the higher skilled player will make BETTER choices over the course of a game, giving them a higher percentage chance to win. 

Similarly to basketball, you would assume that 99% of the time, the higher skilled player will win? Obviously the numbers won’t be that high. Nobody can say for sure what that number is for Bazaar, but many experts believe that in Bazaar , the higher skilled player has somewhere around 60 and 70% of winning. Let’s hope Bazaar is above that number.
Now let’s take a look at the opposite of skill. That pesky thing that everyone says is the worst part of Bazaar. And the one thing I think they are all dead wrong about, of course it’s --

1. RNG

How many different possible unique games of Tic-Tac-Toe are there? The answer is 255,168. That’s every single unique series of plays you can make in Tic-Tac-Toe, period. But how many unique games of Dota 2 are there? Well, before the game even begins there over two quadrillion possible team compositions. (I don’t do math. These guys did though) And that’s before the games even begun!
What about professional sports, like Baseball? I’d say it’s essentially infinite, when taking into consideration so many variables about the athlete's body, different flights of the ball on a pitch, various types of swings, and if the bat makes contact, the nearly infinite points of contact that a baseball could land in a stadium, and that’s not even taking into consideration random things like a player tripping, or a fan in the audience interrupting the play. You get the idea.
This is an incredibly important detail when considering how successful a game can be in the eSports space. Card games are at a massive disadvantage, there’s only so many possible things that can happen, it’s actually a fairly small finite number of unique games, when compared to something like DotA 2.
So what’s the deal with adding in paths in front of creeps? What about the RNG Flop at the beginning of the game? These things are SO INCREDIBLY good for the game, it honestly perturbs me how many people following Bazaar are unsure of this design choice. By adding in these variables into the possible unique games of Bazaar, it increases the number by a HUGE MARGIN. I would argue this makes Bazaar the number one card game, when it comes to the number of possible unique games. But why is this a good thing? Two reasons --

One, it makes the game more fun to play. 

Even with a small deck of forty cards, you’ll have tons of unique games, even when facing opponent decks that are all the same decklist. Each game can be very different based on the minute RNG built into the game! That means you won’t get burn out playing the same decklist. Meta is stale and boring? At least your games will play out slightly different!

Two, it makes the game so much more interesting to spectate. 

How does a player react to certain possible Flops? How does a player recover from poor creep spawns during redeployment phases? These variables create a much more exciting spectating experience! Which brings us to the next point --

1. Spectator eSport

Reynad, Reynad, Reynad, and Reynaddid such an amazing job commentating games during the PAX West live streams. If you haven’t had a chance to watch them, I’d highly recommend it. During the commentary, in many situations, the commentators would talk about potential lines of play from the Challengers on stage. In almost every scenario, there were multiple plays to choose from, and many of them were fairly equal in perceived value.
In many other card games, there is a clear best play from your hand, every turn, and any other line would be called a “misplay”. But in Bazaar, that line separating a viable play and a misplay is quite blurry. Without knowing future creep deployments, some plays could end up being better than others, even when they aren’t necessarily the number one best option at face value. This creates a scenario where commentators have A LOT to talk about during matches, sometimes too much.
On YouTube, you can find a guy making videos named Jackson Walters. I highly recommend his videos and would like to mention him for one specific reason. He uses a program to draw on the screen when he does his gameplay commentary. If you’ve ever seen an NFL broadcast, you would know this is a common feature during a replay. A yellow line, drawing over a freeze frame of the last play.
No other video game I know of uses this type of technology, and Bazaar is absolutely an AMAZING candidate to take advantage of it. There is so much going on, when choosing a lane for a hero to go to, when choosing a spot for a creep to spawn in lane, potential pathing of units, all of these examples would make this technology great for commentators to relay pertinent information to the audience.
But those two things aren’t the only thing that makes Bazaar a great spectator eSport. And this is a topic that is debated frequently amongst the community. Is Bazaar going to have good “streamability” on Twitch? My answer is a resounding YES. Because Valve has done such an unbelievably good job designing the User Interface, a lot of things are clearly displayed to the audience.
Even to people who have very little knowledge of the game, just understanding the basics, they’ll be able to recognize when a player is put in a bad position (Here’s a hint -- there’s giant red X’s all over his units!) and the audience can understand when a player is forced to make a big play to turn things around.

1. Deck sharing

“Tempo Storm is even working on a deck sharing system that will let you lend a deck to a friend for a match just like you would in a physical card game.” Excuse me? I actually can’t believe this! I know a lot of you young people won’t appreciate how awesome of a concept like this really is, but I’m going to break it down for you.
Before the internet existed and everyone had everyone’s decklist, people actually had to work out decks on their own, and with their friends. I personally have spent hundreds of hours “solitairing” decks against no opponent, testing a deck’s consistency and working kinks out of the list. With the current state of electronic card games, people can get detailed statistics of all the top deck lists in the game, what the best players are using on ladder, and so on and so forth. Even in some games, at top tournaments, everyone’s deck list is public knowledge before it begins!
This is not how things have always been. Back in my day, people could go to major tournaments and whip out a completely unknown, Secret.dec, that no one has seen before. That player and his group of friends have already tested it a thousand games against the most popular decks in the meta. When things like this happened, people LOST their freaking minds. And to be honest, this is how some stars were born within some trading card game circles.
With Bazaar’s Deck Sharing, Players will be able to put multiple decks together and give them to their friends, without them needing to invest money in the game, bring them in and use them as exclusive testing partners. While this might understandably sound a bit insane, I can see small groups of friends using this feature for testing purposes.
Other than the obvious, it being a gigantic tool to bring more players to Bazaar, I’m looking at it from the competitive perspective. I could even solitaire games against myself, playing both decks simultaneously! Nice!
While this feature is great at bringing new players in and keeping the cost of entry low, there is something else Bazaar has already taken into consideration, you guessed it --

1. Card accessibility

Black Lotus $6,500. Ancestral Recall $3,363. Time Walk $2,628.
Yikes. This is the exact reason Bazaar has gone on record stating that they don’t want this to happen. Their first step in preventing this, at least in the first set, which releases on November 28th, is only having three rarities of cards. Common, Uncommon, and Rare. Also guaranteeing that one of the twelve cards included in each two dollar pack is a Rare.
They’re going to take things even further for an electronic trading card game, and allow players to buy and sell cards on the steam marketplace. Looking at it from a business standpoint, how genius is that? They not only sell every card pack in client, but they ALSO get a cut of every transaction made on the secondary market! Absolutely genius! (~15% of all secondary market sales goes right into Valve’s pocket!!!)
As of now, nobody can predict the average costs of cards, or the average cost to create a popular meta deck. But one thing is certain, we won’t have to buy hundreds of booster packs hoping to open some specific super-rare necessary-for-laddering “legendary cards” that can’t be resold in a secondary market! Yeah, I’m looking right at you, Hearthstone!
So we’ve got a situation where the game is designed by Reynad, developed by Tempo Storm, has a high skill ceiling, with RNG that makes things interesting, great for spectating, allows deck sharing, and will have accessible cards? What’s even missing in something so amazing like that? Oh, I know, Reynad favorite topic --

1. Prize support

Remember when I linked the Top 200 All-time Money leaders from Bazaar? Number one on the list is Reynad, with total winnings of $497,785. That’s quite a bit of money playing a card game! Well, that is until someone is crowned victor of the first Bazaar Tournament, slated for the first quarter of 2019. First place gets a cool $1,000,000. That’s more than DOUBLE any Bazaar player has made... in all of it’s 25 year history! Yikes!
None of the details have been released yet, but if you play close attention to the Artifact website and the Official twitter @TempoReynad, they’ll be announcing it soon, hopefully. Many players hoping to take a stab at that prize pool are anxiously waiting to hear how they could potentially qualify for the big tournament, myself included.
But as I’ve mentioned before, a giant prize pool isn’t the only key to success as an eSport, it’s many other things. What I would like you to remember, is how many industries can be supported when a prize pool gets that large. But money doesn’t just bring in a bunch of companies underneath it, it also brings in SPONSORS!
Sponsors support all those gaming organizations, that sign pro players to represent them, and allows for such a competitive space to become an eSport. This in turn creates an environment where many people can provide for their families, support each other, and their communities, all from a video game. If that doesn’t get you excited, then you’re truly dead inside. Or your a hundred years old and don’t know what a video game is.
And finally, the above nine things would make a pretty great game, but there’s still one last thing that makes all the difference. In my opinion, it’s the most important piece of success for a video game title to be the number one eSport...

1. Content creators

Here’s a list of some of the best content creators out there right now, making amazing content for Artifact. If you aren’t already following all of these guys, I highly recommend you do so immediately, not just because what they’re making is awesome, but also because they are giving away beta keys!
Reynad Youtube
The Reynad Youtube podcast is hosted by Reynad and Reynad . They just held a massive create-a-card competition for 2 beta keys! If you missed it, that’s unfortunate, because it was great watching how miserable these two were after they reviewed over a thousand cards on stream (Which was only half of the submissions!).
Lastly, I’d like to include myself in this list of content creators. You can check out my twitter here.
I’m looking to write more articles like this in the future (If you guys enjoyed it, that is) Some of the topics I’ll be covering are going to be pretty heavy, like this article, but also decklists, analyzing metas and tournament results, maybe patch notes (if Tempo Storm decides to patch Bazaar and change cards), interviews, pro scene topics, maybe even tracking cards on the marketplace, and predicting future meta shifts! I’d also like to do a card reveal, if Tempo Storm is interested in spreading the love. Seriously, Tempo Storm, I’d die if you sent me a card reveal...
In conclusion, because of the ten reasons stated above, I believe Artifact will be the biggest eSport title, ever. I’d love to hear why you agree or disagree, so comment below! Also, one last thing, I do have a beta key to give away, if you follow me on twitter @TempoReynad, I might do something fun to give the key away. I know you fiends are only motivated by the chance of winning a key! Ha!
Thanks for reading! I’ll be posting again soon…

Sebastian Hans Eli "forsen1337" Fors 

Grammar, spelling, formatting, on mobile, forgiveness, I’m human, this all happened several years ago, blah blah blah. Seriously, y’all are on Reddit so you know the drill. While this post could probably be broken up into multiple parts, I’m only using it as a bit of therapy so you get the whole proverbial cake all at once rather than going at it piece by piece. Once it’s written out I’m hoping that I won’t have to think about the specifics for a very long while. Plus I’m a little shy about sharing so that’s another reason why this has to be all in one go or not at all. I hope this is the correct place to post this story, if not your advice is more than welcome.
Warning... This turned out a LOT longer then I originally intended. The details run long but for me it’s necessary. I’m also a wordy writer... Oh, there is not too much dialogue either besides what I distinctly remember. I don’t see the point in embellishing an already crazy story. I probably won’t remember to put a TL:DR at the end either so just refer to the title lol. Sorry about that. Grab a beverage and a snack and strap in for the roller coaster ride.
Flashback to the year 200X. June. A beautiful day. Sunny. Slightly below average temperature for that time of year. A nice breeze that kept us all cool while we were all crammed together on the school’s football field. Perfect conditions for my high schools’ commencement exercises (aka graduation). The family members were seated. The music started. We high school seniors began the march to our seats. We sat. Speeches. Applause. Corny dad-jokes from our principal. Then the important part - the diplomas. We were called up one by one in alphabetical order. My maiden name began with a B so my turn to walk the stage and receive my diploma came relatively quickly. Applause (Most likely only from my parents and aunt and maybe a few claps from the families of my few friends. My family had moved so I had actually transferred into this school nearly in the middle of my senior year and didn’t have much of an established presence.). I returned to my seat and happily watched my friends and classmates have their own moments.
Some time later the final students name was called. We turned our tassels. Another speech from the principal admonishing us to remember that we were now adults and needed to act responsibly. Wished us the best of luck in our futures. I’m assuming that was the gist of his final speech. Totally didn’t pay attention (typical teenage attitude) Yada yada yada. FINALLY we were officially dismissed for the last time. We all cheered. Caps were tossed. It was an amazing moment. Totally like what you see on young adult television shows and tween movies. After getting quick hugs and congratulations from my best friends parents I excused myself and went to go look for my parents and aunt. I looked all over the field, in the parking lot, and everywhere in between. No beaming mother. No proud father. No aunt to smile and be happy for me. They were gone.
Overly long backstory
My aunt was (and still is unfortunately) totally entitled and oblivious of how the world really works to boot. Growing up I remember hearing bits and pieces of her “interesting” life. She had been married and subsequently divorced several times by this point. She had no concept of personal discipline or financial prudence so she had several creditors after her. She always had something wrong with her or her life. No one understood what she was going through. She needed help. The world hated her and people were out to get her. Nothing was ever her fault. It was always someone or something else. She has two children with two different men and thinks that they can do no wrong, despite them both eventually serving multiple stints in jail and drug rehab programs. To make a stupidly long story just a tiny bit shorter, she was an entitled dingbat. I love her because she is family but I can’t stand her now. Seriously if she was on fire I probably wouldn’t waste my spit on her.
About six months prior to my graduation and nearly as soon as we had unpacked from our move, she ended up moving into our house. It was just her, as her kids were both with their fathers at this point, and literally the only thing my parents asked as compensation was that she take care of some basic house chores (dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, etc...). Honestly I don’t remember why she had to move in with us but it was probably a financial issue of some sort as she never did have two pennies to rub together and probably got evicted (she was currently between husbands at this time btw). I could be wrong and she might have had a more legitimate reason but I was only 17 (18 by graduation) so more or less oblivious to everything. The first couple of weeks were really fun! We would stay up on the weekends together and watch old Alfred Hitchcock and The Twilight Zone shows and movies. She even taught me how to make homemade flour tortillas and real guacamole. In the beginning she was like a big kid. Almost like a sister (as an only child this was a new concept to me).
Then it all began to fall apart. One day she didn’t feel well. Her back hurt. Her hands hurt. A million ailments. It was always something and she obviously enjoyed the limelight. She couldn’t vacuum because her back hurt too badly. She couldn’t wash the dinner dishes because she was sure she had arthritis in her hands. She had looked up her symptoms online so she KNEW what was wrong with herself. Seriously guys, we need to petition the World’s governments to pass a law that people like my aunt can NOT visit medical diagnosis websites. Anyway, It wasn’t that she didn’t WANT to help out around the house (which was my parents ONLY stipulation for her staying with us rent free) it was just that she “was sick” or her “arthritis was acting up” and COULDN’T. Right... So all the chores my folks asked her to take care of (in lieu of rent...) became my job. Vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, dusting, dishes, laundry, cooking dinner, etc.... EVERY day. On top of school and homework (Maybe that’s why those six months were cloudy and fuzzy - lack of sleep!).
Over the weeks and months she had more and more doctor appointments and apparently she found one willing to indulge her fantasy of ill health in order to get a bigger paycheck for himself. She had more and more restrictions as to what she could or couldn’t do (in regards to how much time standing or a maximum weight she could lift). Her doctor began prescribing her crazy amounts of pills to take “for the pain,” her “anxiety,” and god only knows what else. Now on top of her issues she began calling herself disabled and began demanding that we three (mom, dad, and me) do things for her that she was perfectly capable of doing a just couple of days or weeks before. She needed help making her bed, making her breakfast, etc... She had no job. She would sleep until a crazy late hour in the afternoon, come downstairs to the main family television, demand that she watch her shows, do practically nothing the rest of the day besides watch tv and eat (she never seemed to have trouble waddling, without struggle or pain I might add, between the fridge in the kitchen and the living room couch balancing snacks and sodas...), then be back in bed by 9pm or so. Of course demanding silence as she needed to rest to feel better. She had no hobbies. No friends. No household contributions. No discipline. No motivation.
My home life was now playing out exactly like my own ridiculously tacky soap-opera starring Cinderella or something because there was always some kind of drama - my aunt having XYZ problems, my parents exasperated but never standing up for themselves in their own home, and me playing the role of some kind of servant and “whipping boy (girl).” My folks began catering to aunties every demand in order to, in their own minds, keep the peace. All of my aunt’s chores fell to me to complete on top of school and homework. If I ever spoke up about it all I was told to quit being a selfish brat. I needed to be grow up, recognize that auntie was sick, life’s not fair, and I need to pitch in and be a contributing member of the family, blah, blah,blah. I had zero free time between school, catching up on graduation requirements, household chores, cooking dinner, and taking care of/ waiting on my aunt. Even weekends were spent with chores and homework.
Eventually my “dear” auntie’s corrupt doctor prescribed a wheelchair for her day to day activities. Apparently he thought that her back issues had developed into a serious problem and her doctor thought it was in her best interest to not have her walking around much. By this point I knew her doctor was a quack and shady as heck but I figured he was still a doctor and an adult. so no need to press for a second opinion. Being young I naively believed that surely he knew what he was doing (yeah he did, he wanted a paycheck...). Yay... So yeah, a wheelchair. It was a ridiculous and clunky thing. She could barely navigate it around the main floor of our house (though never had an issue climbing the stairs to her bedroom). She insisted on taking it wherever we went and she also coerced my parents into trading in one of their cars for an SUV in order to fit the four of us and her chair. Most embarrassing was when my mom, auntie, and I would go to the grocery store. In leu of her own wheelchair she would always grab one of the stores electric ones. She would often forget her “disability” in order to walk quickly and grab something she forgot and I can’t even begin to count the dirty looks we got. It was obvious that she had no physical issues and all she did was take a chair from someone who might have truly needed it.
Aunt and I didn’t spend much time together anymore by this point because 1. I had my end of year finals and other schoolwork prior to my graduation, 2. I literally had no free time due to all the extra chores, and 3. I just couldn’t stand being around her anymore. This woman was... well I can’t think of a categorization for her as it would be an insult to the fellow people/items/things classified as such. Even to call her a “Karen” would be an insult to other “Karen’s.” Seriously, NOTHING was wrong with her physically. I had spied her at several businesses when she was out on her own and such walking around (even carrying the store’s hand baskets with the things needed. Walking fine. No wheelchair in sight. She might have mental issues (looking back I have strong theories...) but there was definitely nothing wrong in regards to her body or bodily functions. Her back and legs might hurt but if she would get some exercise and lose a few pounds she’d most likely be relieved of those pains. If she would get off the copious number of bogus prescriptions she would not feel tired, weak, or fuzzy all the time. And Redbull and other caffeinated or alcoholic beverages are no good for anyone yet she seemed to be going through several of each daily based on the number of empty cans and bottles I found in her room later. She just used her (shady) doctor to continue her “poor me” persona. She liked the attention.
So yeah, the weeks pass and now my high school graduation was looming. My parents were (at that point) over the moon at my coming commencement exercises and advancement into the grownup world. They were so proud because I worked my butt off to keep my grades high and also fulfill the graduation requirements of my new school (This state had a specific requirement that high school seniors completed and received a passing grade on a portfolio of a number of written pieces. This portfolio is normally worked on over all four years of high school. So yeah, as I had transferred in halfway through the school year I had something like six-ish months to finish and pass what my peers had close to four years to complete.) All was generally good in my world outside of the house. Inside the house was different as there was a lot of tension building. My aunt was pretty quiet in the week or so before the ceremony. She went around with a rather sour expression on her face that only got worse when a package from my grandparents (her and my moms parents) arrived. They had sent me a very nice check, a beautifully monogrammed bible, and a 24 karat gold necklace with a diamond solitaire pendant as a graduation gift (all the graduating grandkids in our family received something similar from them, though the boys in the family received a gold watch rather than a necklace). Other cards, gifts, notes, and letters came from other family members and close family friends and it was all displayed in the living room on a console table by the stairs.
The day comes. Yay graduation! It was such a happy day! My mom did my hair in a beautiful braid and I had a new dress and shoes that I bought and paid for myself. As a finishing touch I accessorized with my beautiful new necklace from my grandparents. When I come downstairs my dad seemed choked up and gave me a big hug, calling me a beautiful young woman. My aunt didn’t say a word and only glared at my neck as she sat impatiently in her wheelchair. When she wheeled herself around to head to the SUV in the garage she “accidentally” rammed into the side table where my graduation cards were placed, knocking almost everything onto the floor. She made some sort of a halfhearted apology and commented about how our house was so small. I was determined that she wouldn’t bring my day down so I tried to ignore her mood as best I could. I simply picked everything back up and arranged everything neatly back on the table.
I rode to the school with my parents and aunt (with her wheelchair of course). They dropped me off at the front entrance because I had to be there early for preparations and such and the three of them decided to run to a nearby store for a few drinks and to kill a bit of time before the ceremony started (I had to be there two hours early). My aunt was still in a sour mood and complained that she was hot (note the beautiful weather conditions of the day above) and thirsty. Her back was hurting already. She needed to take her pills, NOW. My dad sighed and told me that he promised they would get back quickly, saying they’d return long before the scheduled start time and they’d find me and let me know when they get back. I waved them off and I headed inside my school to take care of graduation stuff.
Fast forward about two hours. We students were gowned up and sported the typical half cardboard half ribbon and glue caps on our heads. It was time for everything to start but I hadn’t seen my folks arrive back yet. I figured it was no big deal. The place was pretty packed (it was the early 2000’s so no plague doctors or social distancing that we endure today lol) and they probably couldn’t get through to let me know they were there. We lined up and the ceremony started. Music. Marching. Speeches. Blah, blah, blah. My name was called. I heard cheering and looked into the crowd to see that my family was indeed there as they promised. I flashed the obligatory smiles for the schools pictures and then walked off the stage and filed back to my seat. I spent the rest of the ceremony happily cheering for my friends and simply basked in the sunshine and happiness of the day.
After we turned our tassels, were dismissed, and finally released to go to meet our loved ones, I was accosted by my friends and their families. My best friends family hugged me and we all congratulate each other. Excusing myself, I began to look around for my own family. They’re nowhere to be seen. I looked everywhere but I couldn’t find any of them. My happy little bubble burst. The happy day suddenly disappeared and I was left with a sick feeling in my chest. Not only were my parents and aunt not there, but I had no way to get home. There was no way I could have walked home as we lived miles away in suburbia. Plus heels (girls I know y’all understand). All I could do was just stand there in the rapidly emptying parking lot, alone and crying, wearing my graduation gown with my diploma and cap in my hand.
Now that you’ve gotten the novel length backstory let’s return to the event at hand
After the ceremony my best friends mom saw me standing by myself as they were all walking to the parking lot to go home. She walked over to me asking if everything was ok and where my parents were. She said she wanted to meet my parents so they could all congratulate themselves on raising two more amazing young women for society. Typical happy parent feelings I guess. That’s when I finally looked up at her and she saw my tears. After some mumbled conversation between us (can’t remember what I said exactly but more or less that I was stranded) she frowned and said that they would take me home. All this happened before cell phones were a common thing so there was no way to easily contact anyone else and this was my best (and only, if we are being honest) option.
I got in their van and my best friend saw my face. She had been witness to a lot of stuff in regards to my parents and entitled aunt over the past months and all she could do was squeeze my hand in sympathy. She was holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and baby’s breath that she had received from her parents and seemed slightly embarrassed that my parents hadn’t done the same. I only smiled and said that they were gorgeous and I was happy for her. The ride to my house was pretty quiet with only a little tense conversation. My best friends dad was very quiet and drove with a grim expression on his face. I remember seeing him look in the rearview mirror at me once, and he just seemed concerned for me and a little confused about the behavior of my family.
We finally arrived at my home and sure enough my parents SUV was indeed there in the driveway. Best friends mom turned around in her seat and said that she wanted to walk me to the door and make sure all was alright with my folks and aunt (Aka - probably confront them and chew them out for stranding me like that on my graduation day. They’re all Hispanic and have absolutely zero mouth filters. I love them to death!). I said no and that I would be ok. She squeezed my hand and after thanking them for the ride home I stepped out of their van. My best friend leaned out of the van door before I was able to slide it closed and handed me a rose from her own bouquet. She made me promise to call her if I needed her. This girl was and still is the best and dearest friend I have ever had and I love her like a sister. (Bestie, if you ever see this, thanks a bunch for everything. Love ya!)
As soon as I stepped into the house I could feel that the tension in the air was thicker than a London fog. My aunt was lying on the couch in the living room (presumidly to rest her “aching” back), watching tv with a large fast food bag and empty wrappers and plates scattered around on the coffee table nearby, mom was in the kitchen, and dad was probably upstairs in his office. Aunt looked up and coldly demanded to know where I had been. Smirking she says that HER kids would never do something so inconsiderate. My parents were worried. They all thought I would have been home long ago. She said I was so rude and inconsiderate and said that I thought that I was above everyone else in the world because I had received “a little piece of paper.” Dad heard me come in and came downstairs slurping on a fast food drink. He irritably asked where I had been? What was I doing all this time? Why I took so long to get home? Mom came in as well from the kitchen and wanted to know where I was and yelled at me that they were worried. Apparently it was my fault for not knowing they had to leave and my fault I didn’t arrange a ride home. It was my fault that I expected them to stay, etc etc etc. Their language was much more colorful then what I wrote above but I prefer to keep things relatively clean.
All I could do was stand there in the living room, totally dumbfounded. At this point it was a little over three hours since the ceremony began. Almost two hours since my name was called and about forty minutes since the ceremony ended. I asked how they managed to get (and eat apparently) fast food in just the few minutes since the ceremony ended. My dad suddenly looked sheepish and said they had left right after my name was called. Aunt smirked and said “That’s right, I was hot and my back hurt. You know I have to take my pain pills. Plus we were hungry and wanted to get dinner. We even got your favorite! Yours is in the kitchen.” I stared at her blankly for several seconds before my mom told me to wipe the attitude off my face and go eat. Following me into the kitchen she started talking about how they knew I’d get a ride home from somebody. I’d be ok. They weren’t really worried, but I should have come home sooner and not stayed to “play around” after the ceremony.
I spotted a fast food bag on the counter and when I opened it I saw my burger and (already picked at) fries. I hate junk food like that. Certainly not “my favorite.” They normally would have remembered. Regardless, everything was ice cold and unappetizing. They had obviously been home for quite a while. I looked over towards the kitchen table I was surprised to see a large sheet cake. Beautifully decorated with roses, other decorative icing things, and the words:
CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATES!
Cousin’s name (In big letters)
and
My name (It was beneath my cousins name in a smaller font and it looked to be an afterthought and squished in to fit. Even the color of the icing used to write my name was different.).
Big pieces of the cake had already been cut out of it.
I couldn’t understand why a cake for MY graduation day had cousin’s name on it as well. She didn’t attend my school and wasn’t even anywhere nearby as she was living with her dad several states away. Not to mention that she hadn’t even graduated yet! (Side note, my aunts daughter is the same age as I am and was supposed to have the same graduation year, but she was unable to graduate on time due to poor grades and behavioral problems. She had to take make-up evening classes that coming summer and fall and her diploma would eventually reflect the NEXT graduation year. My relationship with her is a whole other can of worms... I have a senior prom story involving her that y’all might enjoy.) While I stared at the cake my mom quickly said that my auntie had ordered it and it was a surprise! Wasn’t that nice of her? If I had been home earlier I could have cut it myself but they all wanted dessert after their burgers so my Aunt did the honors for me.
Something in me finally snapped and I was done.
I turned around and asked my mom point blank why did they leave so early? Why couldn’t they stay for the whole ceremony? Why had they stranded me there without warning? Why they didn’t find some way to get word to me that they needed to leave early? And (admittedly petty) why couldn’t I get my own darn cake without having to share it with a person who wasn’t even graduating that year? She began to unleash a laundry list of my faults. She told me that I was just acting superior because I graduated. I needed to check my attitude. I was rude. I was ungrateful. I was acting like I was better than everyone else. She then said I was rubbing it into my aunts face that I graduated on time and my cousin did not. I needed to consider the struggles, health, and physical limitations of others. Also, I would never amount to anything as I was too dumb to go to collage so I should get used to serving others better than myself. (About the college thing - that’s another story I can share if asked...) On and on.
I was stunned! I had no idea what the heck changed between that morning and now! To this day the only reason I can think of for all of this was that my aunt didn’t like the attention I was getting from my parents and the rest of our family. She probably felt slighted because her daughter hadn’t gotten a check, necklace, or bible from our grandparents yet (Duh, when she called them to whine, my no-nonsense grandma straight up told her “no diploma no graduation gifts” and said that my cousin would get her gift next year if she was able to pass.). She was offended that so much attention had been lavished on me and my accomplishments (graduating with honors despite transferring mid-year) rather than her own daughter or her own “life changing health issues.” She didn’t like the fact that I was in the limelight and not herself. Most likely she started whining and complaining to my parents about my so-called superior and stuck up attitude as soon as they dropped me off before the ceremony. Then whined and complained that she was in pain and needed to go home as soon as possible to take her dang pills and rest. Eventually she filled their ears with enough poison so they left.
So that morning apparently everything was fine but now it wasn’t? Twenty-four hours before I was behaving normally but now I had apparently been acting stuck up? Regardless of all that crap, how was it ok that they left their teenage daughter stranded without knowing how she would be getting home? How could they leave me on such an important and happy day? How could they not even tell me? How could they allow my aunt to whine and complain and then just go along with what she wanted instead of considering my feelings? Did they just not see how badly their actions that day hurt me? How could a parent-child relationship be ruined in the space of a single afternoon?
Suddenly I realized that this hadn’t happened only in a few hours or even a few days. Our relationship had been deteriorating for months. I found out years later that ever since my aunt had come to live with us she had been talking to my parents about imagined insults to her, my perceived superiority, my rudeness, my unwillingness to help out, and my all around bad attitude. She accused me of sneaking boys to my room when my parents weren’t there. She told them that I had confided to her that I hated my parents and their overly strict ways. She said that she saw me smoking cigarettes at my bus stop before school (as she is so “disabled” I have no idea how she managed to walk or roll so far to spy on me). For the record, her accusations were all completely false. My parents were strict yes but usually fair(ish) and I had assumed loving and supportive of me. I also can’t stand cigarette smoke and at this point I was “as pure and physically intact as the day I was born...”. blush Anyway, between her own entitlement and jealousy she realized that I was “doing better” then her own kids and herself and she decided to make my life miserable. At this point I wasn’t even angry. I was just really, really sad. I left the cold food in the bag on the kitchen counter and “my” cake on the table and went upstairs to my bedroom with my diploma and rose.
When I got there I shut the door. When I turned around I saw a devastating sight. My monogrammed bible, on the floor on top of a baking sheet, half the pages torn out, and the remaining pages and cover burned black. The uncashed check from my grandparents torn into tiny pieces and scattered like confetti on top of the ruined gift. My graduation cards and notes torn into what seemed like thousands of pieces and scattered all over my room. I remember falling to my knees, completely numb. I couldn’t even cry. I just held onto my rose and tried to breathe. (It’s doubly sad to remember this now as my grandmother recently passed away and I would have loved to have had that bible.) I knew immediately who had done this - my aunt. She was such an entitled parent that no one can have any type of spotlight unless it was her own kids or herself. If her daughter couldn’t celebrate a graduation then neither could I. If her daughter didn’t get a check then I couldn’t have mine. I was glad I had decided to wear my grandparents necklace because who knows what she would have done with it. All this destruction and my parents were either oblivious or they just didn’t care. This was more or less the beginning of the end for our parent-daughter relationship. I was 18. A legal adult and able to make my own decisions about my own life. With how things were now, I knew my parents couldn’t be a part of it if they were determined to listen to the vitriol that spewed from my aunts mouth.
Aftermath
Within two hours I was over at my best friends house to spend the next few weeks. Within a couple of months I had gotten a job and moved into my own place. I never looked back. After several years I was (And still am!) married to an amazing guy (Only one marriage for me thank-you-very-much, unlike you auntie!). He encouraged me to enroll in college and work towards my bachelors degree and then earn my masters degree. That led to my current amazing career, with some of the best coworkers imaginable, in my chosen field with a more than acceptable salary. Over time I slowly, very slowly, began to grow a little bit closer to my parents. It’s not your typical parent-child relationship anymore, that ended forever when I was eighteen, but cordial.
In the beginning, after I moved out, they tried to do little things for me (and later my new husband as well) but their offers were usually declined, preferring to forge our own way without relying on others for help. Eventually I began to relax around them a bit more and to open my heart again. We’ve talked a lot over the years and they actually eventually apologized for what happened. I guess they initially thought that they were keeping the peace and they just went along with whatever my aunt said. They trusted her, as an adult, over me. Eventually they began to agree with her opinions and they never thought to question what she told them about me. At one point my mom even said that she wondered if I was on drugs during this time based on the stories my aunt was telling her. The irony... Now, more than a decade and a half later, my relationship with my mom and dad is pretty great. Less than parent-child but way more than friends.
My aunt ended up moving out of my parents house and into a nearby trashy apartment not long after my graduation, citing an unpleasant atmosphere as her reasoning. (Yeah, I wonder why...) My folks paid her rent, utilities, paid for a car (including gas and insurance) and bought her groceries for a couple of years before my dad finally grew a pair and put his foot down. She started dating a lazy idiot guy who received some kind of government pension and once he moved in with her that’s how they more or less supported themselves. She still occasionally comes crawling to my mom for money for smokes, gas, or whatever. Dad would, at best, give her a hard NO and at worst tell her exactly what he thought about her. So she knows not to go near him asking for anything. Sometimes mom gives her a few dollars but usually not, as even mom has grown tired of my aunts antics, entitlement, and poisonous attitude. So my aunt and her boy toy survive on a cycle of a small monthly government pension, payday loans, and begging the family for money. Of course neither of them have a job due to their “disabilities.
Interesting side note, after my aunt moved into her apartment she no longer needed a wheelchair! It’s a miracle! Or most likely she couldn’t use it because her new place was tiny, on the 2nd floor, and wasn’t an ADA home (bcause she couldn’t qualify for one considering she gasp wasn’t medically considered disabled!). It was just a regular rundown one bedroom one bath apartment and all she (with my parents support at the time) could afford. Oh, and also she had to stop seeing her quack doctor as my parents eventually stopped paying that bill too. I guess it’s a win win for her physical health as she got more exercise, lost some of the weight she had piled on while living with us, and was forced off her prescriptions as she no longer had a willing doctor to prescribe them. I’m sure the withdrawal was hell but I have zero sympathy. She’s still a leech who cannot stand to hear about anyone’s happiness or success (she was placing bets on my wedding day how long my marriage would last) and always manages to work her aches, pains, dire situations and the dubious achievements of her kids (who both have criminal records, stints in drug and alcohol rehab programs, several divorces between them, and children outside of marriage) into any conversation she has with anyone. A leopard cannot change its spots.
So yeah, the best “revenge” I can imagine is my “dear” aunt stewing, every single day across all these years, in the knowledge that I have no criminal record, no drug charges, a happy marriage, no divorces, two degrees, a successful career, money in the bank, and a very good relationship with my parents. She has to endure my folks bragging to the whole family about my (and my husband’s) successful life and accomplishments in my job. All without any assistance from anyone. Typical parent behavior as my other cousins parents all (justifiably) do the same for their kids. All my aunt can contribute is that cousin 1 managed to be paroled and now she has a steady minimum wage job (don’t hear much of anything about cousin 2 as he’s literally a deadbeat.). I guess in a way she pushed me to work towards the best life I could possibly have. So... thanks auntie?
Preemptive answers to questions I might be asked:
1) Yes I totally realize that some people have a string of rotten luck which forces their hand to reach out for help. If you are able you should definitely feel comfortable enough to reach out a hand to family for assistance. I call bs on my aunts story of hardship only because she never showed any gratitude to my folks and to this day I hear that she still insists that I was the troublemaker she said I was. She never tried to look for employment, never did anything to get back on her feet, and spent all day every day on her rear end.
2) I don’t care if people have kids outside a traditional family environment. In many cases one or both partners don’t find the need for it and still manage to have a wonderful family. What I object to is a bum, alcoholic, or drug addict bringing children into this world without having a stable home life and the necessary resources to raise them properly (you know, with morals and manners and such). I know tons of single moms and dads who are superstar parents with great kids. Big shout out to all the awesome single parents. Y’all are an inspiration!
3) Yeah this might seem like either a dumb story or completely fake to some folks. But I assure you, it happened. Some parts might be boring but, as I said in the beginning, I don’t see the point in adding embellishments to make anything more interesting. It was a crappy situation but I guess it’s important to remember that the truth can be stranger than fiction.
If you actually got this far, you are a seriously awesome trooper and deserve a gold star! Thanks for reading. I hope you had a blessed Christmas and here’s hoping we all have a happy and safe New Year! ❤️
P.S.
I know there are channels on YouTube who read crazy Reddit stories. If there is anyone who is interested and wants to read this for a video, feel free to do so (just send me the link when you do!). It might take an entire video to get through it all though so no worries if you’d rather give this one a pass.
EDIT
I’ve received a few messages with questions so I’ll post the answers here.
No I have no idea how my aunt played the system. After later talking to my folks I learned that her doctor didn’t practice in a hospital but instead had some sort of private practice in his home. We lived in a rather rural area and going to “a real city hospital” was difficult for some people. I’m definitely no doctor or lawyer so I don’t know the legality of any of it, but I’m pretty sure he fudged some things in order for him to get a paycheck (like not accepting insurance, taking only cash, and being liberal with prescriptions and the like). Small town politics are what kept him in business I guess.
No, my aunt never tried filing for actual disability or anything official through the government. She was crazy enough to get a wheelchair and call herself disabled but thankfully not crazy enough to try to fool Uncle Sam.
After a few weeks my grandparents did actually inquire about why I hadn’t cashed or deposited their check. Still being a bit of a doormat I made up an excuse about the check being damaged and the bank couldn’t accept it. They sent me a new check (to my best friends address where I was staying at the time) which I used to buy my first car. They didn’t question me directly as to why I didn’t want it sent to my parents house but I’m pretty sure they knew that there were some issues.
I never told my grandparents about the Bible. My grandma was very religious and I think the knowledge of one of her daughters actually burning a bible would have hurt her too much.

I know it's going to be nerfed soon but it only cost 1200 scraps and I can easily use the royal decree in other decks also.
I want to tell you why I made it though because I had decided to take the moral high road and not use viy which was the first legendary I got when I started playing. And the reason is some of the sportsmanship I've seen especially from certain factions (lol). I have to get something like 90 wins to finish the alzur contracts so I have enough rp to open more kegs. That takes a lot of time without having to sit through my opp roping me while he tries to communicate through highlighting cards how he is going to lock my units or destroy them. If you are going to lock something, just do it. You do not need to highlight a deployed lock, then highlight a unit you already locked, then highlight the unit you plan to lock. And especially if you create a lock unit, you don't have to let it float over the board while you highlight the unit you're going to lock as if it is the greatest accomplishment known to gwent. Especially when the unit you're disabling is my Damien or skellig. So after enough times of that I just said screw this I'm trying viy. If I'm going to be mocked while I play I might as well give myself a better chance of winning.
So the moral of the story is please treat your opp with respect so they don't tilt and start playing a viy deck.
That being said it's a little brainless and slightly less fun playing solitaire, but work can be boring sometimes and the rp im earning are the same as money right? https://www.playgwent.com/en/decks/74e6f11a550b375d3475b6f7d6cd114b

What this is:

This is a weekly, curated listing of Kickstarter board game projects that are either:

• newly posted in the past 7 days, or
• ending in the next 7 days (starting Nov 23) and have at least a fighting chance of being funded.

All board game projects meeting those criteria will automatically be included, no need to ask. (The occasional non-board game project may also sneak in!)
Expect new lists each Sunday sometime between midnight and noon PST.

Ending Soon

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
Widget Ridge: EMERGENCE Three new expansion sets for Widget Ridge a steampunk deckbuilding game! // Has raised $7,309 of $5,000 so far. (~146%) ☑	1 - 4	122	$30 / $60	Nov 22	kicktraq bgg #expansion
Treat Trumps A tasty card game that's raising money for foodbanks... // Has raised £4,192 of £2,500 so far. (~168%) ☑	any	96	$16 / £44	Nov 23	kicktraq
DRINKIT For each deck : 2 games - 10 ways to play // Has raised €1,360 of €2,000 so far. (~68%)	3+	47	$14 / €29	Nov 24	kicktraq #lolwut #take2
Evil Baby Overkill Stack defenses & survive Evil Baby attacks to be the last player alive & win the game. // Has raised £1,408 of £333 so far. (~423%) ☑	2 - 8	47	$16 / £30	Nov 24	kicktraq bgg #newedition
Dark Venture - BATTLE of the ANCIENTS A tactical strategy game set in the DARK VENTURE universe where players control asymmetric factions engaging in brutal conflict. // Has raised $38,428 of $14,000 so far. (~274%) ☑	1 - 4	670	$39 / $57	Nov 24	kicktraq bgg
Name Dropping The FRUSTRATINGLY FUN Movie Card Game // Has raised $10,292 of $10,000 so far. (~103%) ☑	2 teams	263	$20 / $39	Nov 25	kicktraq #take2
The Mariana Trench A light pocket adventure where 1 or 2 players explore the wonders of the Mariana Trench while avoiding dangers lurking in the darkness // Has raised £24,588 of £10,000 so far. (~246%) ☑	1 - 2	1168	$24 / £21	Nov 25	kicktraq bgg
The Wildsea RPG A post-fall fantasy tabletop roleplaying game set in a rampant ocean of verdant green. // Has raised $94,932 of $15,000 so far. (~633%) ☑	2 - 6	1819	$25 / $52	Nov 25	kicktraq #rpg
Over the Top! - a (solo) WW1 board game (PnP) Can you get your men across 'No Man's Land' in sufficient numbers to reach your objective? // Has raised $298 of $40 so far. (~745%) ☑	1	58	$2 / $5	Nov 25	kicktraq
Dirty Thoughts Adult Party Game A hilarious new party game combining the best aspects of several classic family games. // Has raised $6,396 of $2,500 so far. (~256%) ☑	2 - 12	141	$24 / $45	Nov 25	kicktraq
Trust Me, I'm a Superhero - A Card Game of Debatable Heroism Use whacky combinations of bizarre Supers and head-scratching Powers to answer Calls for Help in this hilarious debating card game // Has raised A$13,585 of A$4,500 so far. (~302%) ☑	3 - 8	192	$21 / A$71	Nov 25	kicktraq bgg
Social Responsibility: The Socially Responsible Card Game A fun, engaging and social card game that will have you laughing and crying at the same time. (optional drinking game included) // Has raised £2,804 of £2,900 so far. (~97%)	3 - 7	124	$16 / £23	Nov 26	kicktraq
Legions of Steel: Operation Anvil A fast paced, skirmish miniatures wargame rich in tactical decision making. // Has raised C$17135 of C$25000 so far. (~69%)	2	94	$45 / C$182	Nov 26	kicktraq #take2
Salvage Hidden Treasures Captain a fleet of Salvage ships scouring the depths of the ocean. An exciting competitive strategy board game for 2 to 4 players. // Has raised £6,271 of £3,500 so far. (~179%) ☑	2 - 4	146	$35 / £43	Nov 26	kicktraq bgg
Trivia Obscura™ +Do You Know Darkness?+ Trivia Obscura™ is the board game that allows you to bask in the glory of your dark existence and… rub your poser friends’ noses in it! // Has raised €9,024 of €13,000 so far. (~69%)	2 - 6	268	$40 / €34	Nov 27	kicktraq bgg #take2
Flint and Feather Contact Flint and Feather Contact is the evolution of our Miniatures Game. The 28mm Tabletop Skirmish Game of 17th century warfare in Americas. // Has raised C$19148 of C$10000 so far. (~191%) ☑	?	127	$19 / C$151	Nov 27	kicktraq
Ukiyo A puzzle-based card game for 1-4 players that's different every time you play. Just £7! // Has raised £3,386 of £1,100 so far. (~308%) ☑	1 - 4	279	$9 / £12	Nov 27	kicktraq bgg
Bardsung 🎵 Inspire songs and live your legend in this cooperative RPG dungeon explorer for 1-5 players! // Has raised £544,422 of £76,000 so far. (~716%) ☑	1 - 5	6042	$100 / £90	Nov 27	kicktraq bgg
GLADIATOR: Fight To The Finish A fast-action Gladiator Combat card game for two players where you fight your opponent to the bitter end. // Has raised $4,130 of $3,800 so far. (~109%) ☑	2	97	$25 / $43	Nov 28	kicktraq bgg

New This Week

Project Info	Players	Backers	Min / Avg Pledge	Ends	Comments
2020 Bullsh!t: unPRESIDENTed Times - A hilarious party game! The year of mutually shared despair. Here to help us laugh our way out of 2020 and remind us of all that we've collectively survived! // Has raised $1,368 of $10,000 so far. (~14%)	3 - 10	19	$35 / $72	Dec 01
Albastini Card Game A Classic Trick-Taking Card Game with No Mercy from the Land of Tanzanite! // Has raised $2,999 of $5,000 so far. (~60%)	2 - 8	102	$25 / $29	Dec 17	bgg
Asking for Trobils Reprint & More A Worker Placement Game for 2-7 players with no blocking and a Location-Customization mechanic twist. // Has raised $40,235 of $25,000 so far. (~161%) ☑	2 - 7	539	$34 / $75	Dec 10	bgg #reprint #expansion
Awkward Assssss Fu@k: The Card Game An adult drinking game which creates awkward moments. // Has raised £390 of £11,000 so far. (~4%)	3+	8	$27 / £49	Jan 15	#lolwut
Can't Go: Campaign Number Two The game of poop and points! // Has raised £1,353 of £4,000 so far. (~34%)	2 - 4	62	$23 / £22	Dec 19	#take2
Can You Survive 2020? Capitalism, chaos, and collective insanity for 2-6 players. // Has raised $2,002 of $2,500 so far. (~80%)	2 - 6	41	$45 / $49	Dec 09
Covid-19 and The Supermarket Treasures - The Card Game The Game Nobody Asked For... About the One Thing Everyone Is Tired of Hearing About! Enjoy all the Fun of the Pandemic in a Card Game // Has raised $169 of $7,500 so far. (~2%)	?	10	$16 / $17	Dec 18
Creature Comforts Gather resources and craft comforts to turn your forest den into a cozy winter home in this game for 1-5 players. // Has raised C$158679 of C$24000 so far. (~661%) ☑	1 - 5	2791	$38 / C$57	Dec 10	bgg
DVG - Soldiers in Postmen's Uniforms Polish postal workers defend a post office against relentless SS attack in this WW2 solitaire game. // Has raised $32,041 of $20,000 so far. (~160%) ☑	1	483	$50 / $66	Dec 09	bgg
Energy Empire CCG A collectable strategy card game - Choose between 10 Factions and enter the Warzone in the fight for power // Has raised £144 of £130,000 so far. (~0%)	?	7	$27 / £21	Dec 18
Escape to Freedom: Sabotage Can you keep your poker face when everyone suspects you? Run away with others or sabotage the action as an undercover cop. // Has raised €1,364 of €4,900 so far. (~28%)	2 - 5	53	$27 / €26	Dec 19	#take2
Faction Fighters: Card Game 2-player card power combat game with thematic area decks. Battle with fiercely-cute creatures in a journey to Shard Peak. // Has raised $1,072 of $20,000 so far. (~5%)	2	33	$25 / $32	Dec 18	bgg
FrankenDuo - Colourblind friendly card game 10 000 creatures inside, choose Yours! choose wisely... // Has raised €1,653 of €10,000 so far. (~17%)	2 - 8	42	$35 / €39	Dec 16
Gods of Metal: Save Reality with the Power of Metal! Gods of Metal: a 1-4 Player Co-Op Deckbuilder. Form a Band, Live for Metal, Save all Reality! // Has raised $2,235 of $6,500 so far. (~34%)	1 - 4	75	$25 / $30	Dec 17	bgg #take3
Grail Games presents: Hibachi Throw the egg, grab the pepper! Hibachi is a fun dexterity game for 2-4 chefs. Throw your weight around, but don't singe your fur! // Has raised A$27,337 of A$20,000 so far. (~137%) ☑	2 - 4	374	$31 / A$73	Nov 30	bgg
Heroes of Heartland A board game involving character building and base building. // Has raised C$2148 of C$28270 so far. (~8%)	2 - 4	31	$41 / C$69	Dec 09	bgg
Indian Ocean Region Players assume the role of nations participating in possible future conflicts in this second volume of South China Sea. // Has raised $2,530 of $2,000 so far. (~126%) ☑	2	23	$65 / $110	Dec 05	bgg
It's Contagious!™ Card Game An infectiously fun game for the end of times. Avoid contagion and turn antibodies into superheroes in this fast-playing card game! // Has raised $1,553 of $10,000 so far. (~16%)	2 - 6	38	$15 / $41	Dec 10
Kill the King tactics experience exciting duels in the fight for the crown in this next level memory-duel game. // Has raised €1,006 of €5,000 so far. (~20%)	2 - 4	12	$30 / €84	Dec 24	#take2
Knights of the Hound Table: Sails & Tails A deckbuilding card game where players draft their team of dogs and fight for control of Boneshire! // Has raised $4,313 of $4,500 so far. (~96%)	2 - 4	90	$22 / $48	Dec 17	bgg #expansion
Levitation! - Masters of Magic A die drafting/worker placement/engine building game for 2 to 5 players set in the golden age of stage magic. // Has raised $5,732 of $16,625 so far. (~34%)	2 - 5	155	$47 / $37	Dec 17	#take2
Macaron - A game of patisserie with novel tastes If you like Bridge, Hearts, and Spades, or never heard of them, you will enjoy playing Macaron, a 1 to 5 player trick-taking game. // Has raised $5,973 of $8,000 so far. (~75%)	1 - 5	152	$20 / $39	Dec 01	bgg
Minotaur Warriors A set of high quality Minotaurs miniatures for wargaming and collecting. // Has raised €243 of €1,400 so far. (~17%)	-	5	$18 / €49	Dec 15	#minis
Mission Catastrophe Escape the spaceship before it blows up in a competitive/cooperative/team game for 1-6 players. // Has raised $38,132 of $24,000 so far. (~159%) ☑	1 - 6	661	$54 / $58	Dec 10	bgg
Necrotopia: Tarot Divina Demonica #BLM Necrotopia: Tarot Divina Demonica, a fully functional card game in the Necrotopia Universe which doubles as a complete Tarot deck. // Has raised $92 of $600 so far. (~15%)	2 - 6	5	$35 / $18	Dec 15	#take2
Niche: The Podcast Experience We get it. You're unique...like everyone else. Just deal the cards. // Has raised $150 of $6,000 so far. (~2%)	3+	5	$25 / $30	Dec 17	#lolwut
No Fish! A Card Game of Environmental Catastrophe Our oceans are dying. So instead of playing the classic card game Go Fish! we should probably play No Fish! // Has raised $1,807 of $2,000 so far. (~90%)	?	50	$20 / $36	Dec 17
OPUS Cards: When I Grow Up! A career-based card game for kids who won't let gender, race, age or economic background stop them! // Has raised C$1081 of C$5000 so far. (~22%)	?	37	$16 / C$29	Jan 15
PLAYMATS by Red Duke Games Beautiful and Unique - 24x14 Game mats by some of the industry's top Artists // Has raised $1,755 of $3,700 so far. (~47%)	-	33	$25 / $53	Dec 29	#bling
Pocket-Tactics Series 2: Coils of Chaos A new series of sets for our 3d print-and-play strategy board game, Pocket-Tactics. // Has raised $3,537 of $1,000 so far. (~354%) ☑	2	178	$15 / $20	Dec 01	bgg #expansion
Rapture - Tabletop Rapture - a skirmish miniature tabletop wargame with an immersive story. // Has raised €25,970 of €27,700 so far. (~94%)	2+	177	$46 / €147	Dec 07	bgg
RAWHIDE a strategy card game set in the Old West A strategic, yet fun and engaging card game for 2-5 players that the whole family will enjoy. // Has raised $961 of $2,750 so far. (~35%)	2 - 5	36	$20 / $27	Jan 01
Reality Shift Race, Hack, and Win in the fast-paced 3D racing board game set in a retro-virtual world. // Has raised $12,288 of $10,000 so far. (~123%) ☑	2 - 4	177	$55 / $69	Dec 01	bgg
Rulebenders A rule-bending, theme traveling, adventure board game // Has raised $77,004 of $60,000 so far. (~128%) ☑	2 - 5	797	$65 / $97	Dec 11	bgg
SquareOne®, the board game console The best of board games and video games bridged together is finally here! Explore a new world of gaming with your family and friends. // Has raised €146,533 of €50,000 so far. (~293%) ☑	-	294	$592 / €498	Dec 15	#app #bling
Stories Card Game Building Connections One Card at a Time // Has raised $1,619 of $1,500 so far. (~108%) ☑	2 - 6	44	$15 / $37	Dec 05	#take2
Tables-Tastic The fun family game to master multiplication // Has raised £678 of £1,900 so far. (~36%)	2 - 5	31	$19 / £22	Dec 11
Tessera A brilliantly tactical 2-4 player tile-laying game set in Roman mythology. // Has raised £2,021 of £15,000 so far. (~13%)	2 - 4	113	$24 / £18	Dec 09	bgg
The Calliope Game Night Extravaganza! A Trio Of Games That Take You By Feather, Rail, And Epic Tale - featuring Allegory, Enchanted Plumes, and Mass Transit! // Has raised $12,152 of $20,000 so far. (~61%)	varies	369	$15 / $33	Dec 11	bgg
The Drowned and the Damned Fantasy Fleet Battles on the Tabletop!. Awesomely sculpted miniature dwarf and elf ships fight for supremacy in this strategic wargame. // Has raised £1,783 of £5,000 so far. (~36%)	?	40	$74 / £45	Dec 04
The Quintessential Tabletop The Quintessential Tabletop revolutionizing the way you enjoy games, puzzles, and so much more... // Has raised $7,449 of $7,770 so far. (~96%)	-	46	$150 / $162	Dec 19	#bling
THE SPECIALISTS - Boardgame Recruit your dream team and perform heists all over the world! // Has raised €43,679 of €10,000 so far. (~437%) ☑	1 - 4	664	$48 / €66	Dec 12	bgg #take2
Theorem Card Game Theorem is a rummy type card game that is fun for the whole family // Has raised $1,841 of $6,000 so far. (~31%)	2 - 6	48	$12 / $38	Dec 24
Triathlon Series. The Board Game (Reprint) No one ever said, “Let's play triathlon”. Until now!Strength. Joy. Pace. Find your inner TRI. // Has raised £1,053 of £1,000 so far. (~105%) ☑	2 - 4	9	$52 / £117	Dec 15	bgg
USS Freedom USS Freedom is a fun, cooperative, open world, free-roaming space themed board game! // Has raised €26,183 of €20,000 so far. (~131%) ☑	1 - 6	439	$80 / €60	Dec 04	bgg
War Across Realms Trading Card Game.(or CCG) (W.A.R) is a game focused in equal parts on art,collectibility, and gameplay. Centered around deck building and synergy. // Has raised $1 of $2,750 so far. (~0%)	NA	1	$10 / $1	Jan 17
YOU. ME. US. - A Couple's Drinking Game An adult party game that combines thought provoking & humorous questions with silly action cards for the ultimate couple's game night! // Has raised $7,107 of $10,000 so far. (~71%)	?	89	$25 / $80	Dec 16

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Footnotes

• #hmm means that something about the project seems a little off. Buyer beware kinda thing.
• #lolwut is reserved for projects that seem like copycat games or campaigns put together with little thought. Check 'em out for amusement.
• #take tags are for projects that have been restarted for some reason, with the number indicating what iteration we're currently on.
• Did I miss something? Particularly something new in the last 7 days or ending in the next 7 days? Let me know in the comments and I'll add it in.

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"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement."- Helen Adams Keller
----
"Yizheng, what else?" Guangshi yelled into his gold-plated phone. The newest model, of course.
Yizheng groaned internally. His boss had always been demanding, but he had been worse than usual in the last couple of weeks. It must be his wife, he surmised. He hadn't seen his boss's wife in three weeks, and that coincided with his boss becoming difficult. He sighed. When his boss and his wife are arguing, he spends much more time at the office.
“I’ll be straight over, sir.” This was nothing new to him, it’s part of his job. It’s all of his job. But he still dreads that phrase, since it signals the end of peace and the start of work.
Well, his boss didn’t exactly spend time at the office. Of the four and half years he worked for Wang Guangshi, he estimated only a quarter of the time his boss was actually at the office. And of that, about five percent of the time is spent on things he personally would consider business.
When he applied to be the personal assistant to Wang Guangshi, the second son of the late famed merchant Wang Fengzhi, he anticipated lots of busywork and international dealings. He brushed up on his English, even learned a bit of German. But it turns out that was not necessary. Yizheng graduated from Peking University, or Beida as he affectionately puts it, after saving up all his income from working in the summers. Gaungshi graduated from Stanford University, which was consistently above his Beida in world rankings. Guangshi loved that. And after discovering they are both fans of the same Olympic diver, he was convinced. He was hired on the spot.
Thus began his employment. Yizheng quickly found that his boss has a penchant for enjoying life. He was addicted to fun, but it fell to him to give him fun ideas. A studious, hardworking child at heart, Yizheng never had many suggestions he could come up with on the spot. So whenever his boss was having fun, he was engrossed in research, cracking the enigma of the next spontaneous idea.
He did not love this job. If it were up to him, he would be running his own business, using experiences he had in this job to help him navigate the tricky landscape. His idea, however, was put on hold since this job turned out to not have any relations to business, unless driving your boss to the golf course counted as a business acumen. Those three weeks driving to the Capital Golf Course were among his worst, coming in just behind his Gaokao days. The traffic was nightmarish.
His thoughts turned to what he considered his greatest success, getting Guangshi to focus on a business for two weeks. He shared with him his own belief that the greatest thing a man can do is to establish his own business empire. So Guangshi started a company, Hongqi Steel Furnaces, with the name picked out of a People’s Daily headline. Eventually, he found it too hard and gave up. Why work so you can enjoy when you can just enjoy?
----
Guangshi walked into the living room, where he knew his still angry wife was watching television.
“So you’ve decided to bless me with your presence,” His wife sneered.
Guangshi sighed. “I just want a quiet night in. Can you just let me have that? Just that? I’m not asking a lot, am I?”
“And I’m just asking you to spend more time with me, and not to go off golfing or learn to fly a helicopter or whatever it is you decided to do that week. That’s not too much, is it?” She made a face and started to imitate him. “I’m not asking a lot, am I?”
“The helicopter was for you! You know how bad the traffic here is. I just wanted to be able to take you to...”
“To where? I’ve only seen you at home these last two months. Where were you going to take me? Or is it some top-secret mission from the Party, to take me somewhere classified? And anyway, you never got that helicopter license. You got distracted, tried to learn about art collection and then got distracted from that too! Can you tell me the difference between Picasso and Da Vinci?”
He tried to ignore her. Grabbing the remote, he found out what she was watching. “The Great Founding of The Ancestral Homeland,” he muttered under his breath. Not his ideal show to be watching, but it’ll have to do. He doesn’t want to poke the bear. Boy, he’s glad he didn’t use that phrase out loud.
“Who is that short guy?” Guangshi asked, pointing to the corner of the 800-inch flat-screen television. He had had to warn guests from leaning on what they assumed was the wall in the past.
His wife snatched the remote control and paused the movie. “Are you serious? That’s Deng Xiaoping.” She was still angry at him, and it showed.
“Who is that? Sounds familiar.”
She turned and looked straight at him. “Deng Xiaoping. He’s the second leader of the country. You learned this in Party history class in school.” Now she was concerned. Did he hit his head?
“Stop looking at me like I’m stupid. So he was the second leader. Nobody knows anyone who came second. Like you know who was the second person to go to the moon.”
“Buzz Aldrin.”
“He’s from Toy Story, dummy.”
His wife leaned back further in her chair. This was going to be a long night. She quickly went to the kitchen. While she was taking two Panadols in preparation for the night ahead of her, Guangshi unpaused the movie. She rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly as she watched her husband sit up and slowly nod at something Deng said, probably hearing it for the first time ever.
Deng Xiaoping… The name sounded familiar, he thought. Then suddenly, an old memory from Guangshi’s childhood washed over him.
“...Deng Xiaoping was the architect of the ‘Reform and open up’ policy. He is the reason you all live a good life today. Listen, listen, listen! Wang Guangshi, are you listening to what I’m saying?”
Guangshi was not even at his desk. He was running around, throwing a ball made from crumpled note paper, bouncing it off walls and catching it before it hit the ground. It was a game his friend had taught him and he’s used it to entertain himself whenever he was bored in class. He threw the ball at the head of a girl two desks away. The girl squealed as the ball hit her, though she was not in pain. She handed the ball to the exasperated teacher.
“Wang Guangshi! That is enough! The history of the Party is important, it can determine what kind of life you live! If you want to live well, learn from history and understand the Party!”
“My dad is a rich businessman, I’ll be rich no matter what,” he retorted, and continued to run around the classroom.” His teacher covered her face in frustration.
----
If Mao Zedong were still alive, he would probably be very pleased with Guangshi's progress before exclaiming, "What kind of socialist state does not allow for worker's strikes!". Mao understood that the minds of the Chinese people are like expensive sports cars. The "principles of Marxism" lessons throughout their schooling fine tuned these cars, made sure they can work at their maximum capacity. After that, all anyone needs is the ignition key to zoom away, and truly embrace patriotism and nationalism. In a way, that made everyone equal. And Guangshi had, at long last, found his ignition key.
Yizheng was perplexed by his boss’s change. It has been two weeks and he hadn’t asked for something new. No golf trips, not even a new color scheme for his Lamborghini. He sat in front of his computer all day, typing furiously. It worried him. But on the other hand, he finally had time to flesh out his robot cook idea, where you can just put in the ingredients and it will prepare and cook the food for you. Now he just needs to know if engineers can make it work.
“Yizheng!”
Yizheng hurriedly ran into his boss’s room. Guangshi was hunched over his computer.
“I’m trying to learn about the history of our great country and especially the Party. Go get me three or four books I can read about it,” He said without looking up.
“Did you say books sir? Did you mean movies?”
“White cat, black cat, a cat that catches mice is a good cat.”
“From Comrade Deng.”
“Yes, Yizheng. Books, movies, it doesn’t matter. As long as it helps me learn about the history of the Party. They are, after all, the core leader of the Chinese people.”
“From Chairman Mao, in 1945. Very well. I will have them on your desk first thing tomorrow.”
----
The relations between Guangshi and his wife had thawed. Today, Guangshi went out to a video store and got something special for the two of them, as a treat.
“How would you like to watch Wolf Warrior 23: The Long March?”
His wife smiled and sat down on the sofa. He put the DVD into the player, while his wife took up the remote control. “You want popcorn?” He asked, as he stood up.
“Do I ever,” She laughed a little.
He walked to the kitchen and put a packet of kernels into the microwave. He stared at the silhouette of his wife on the sofa and smiled, a smile that had rarely been seen since his honeymoon. “Don’t turn the volume up so high, I don’t want to be hard of hearing,” He joked. She chuckled and turned the volume down, going from deafening to merely loud.
He passed the popcorn to her, and sat next to her, with his arm draped across her shoulder. “It’s starting,” he said. They sat in silence, watching the exhausted Red Army walk through snowy mountains. The Nationalists were in hot pursuit, determined to wipe them out. Suddenly, his wife sat up straight and pressed pause. “That’s Chairman Mao. He shouldn’t be in the back, he led the Long March.”
Guangshi reached for some popcorn. “A lot of people think that. It’s not true,” he said, taking a sip of his Qingdao beer. “Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March. He wasn’t in charge at first. It was someone else, and that’s why the early portion suffered heavy casualties. Then the Party corrected its mistake, and put Chairman Mao in charge of the army. He led them to victory.”
She was pleasantly surprised, turning her head and looking at him with a twinkle in her eye. Knowledge is virtue, and her husband is fast becoming a saint. Her half-open mouth quickly transformed itself into a smile. She sat back, and rested her head slowly on his shoulder, still smiling sweetly at the screen.
----
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“My hand is cramping,” complained little Guangshi. “How many lines am I supposed to copy?”
“Just a hundred, not much. I hope now you will remember the life and times of our country’s leaders.”
“I’m going to tell my dad about this. And you’ll lose your job.” He said bitterly.
“I called your father. He gave me permission to do this. Now, the quicker you write, the sooner you get to leave and go home. You’ll stay in detention until you finish.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
“Chairman Mao became a leader in the Party during the ten thousand mile Long March.”
The words became unrecognizable as tears filled his eyes. Why life is so hard, wondered Guangshi silently.
----
“Yizheng, call my accountant. See if I can free up one million yuan.”
“Yes, sir. What should I say it is for?”
Guangshi waved for Yizheng to come look at his computer screen. “See this?” He pointed at an article that says “Plans to renovate War of Liberation History Museum”. “The fortune I’ve made, I could not have made it without the Party. It’s a golden opportunity to give back.”
Pointing out the obvious, Yizheng said, “Well, your father could have passed on his money anywhere.”
Without skipping a beat, he replied, “And he wouldn’t have been able to make his money, and pass it along to me in turbulent times. It’s all thanks to the Party that that could happen. Anything to help the Party!” Only after saying it did he realize he practically shouted that last sentence, and stopped quickly. Yizheng could swear he saw his boss’s eyes widened as they blazed with a fiery aura he never saw before.
Yizheng tapped his head. “Of course.” Now he understood. It does seem like his boss was getting smarter by the minute. “Would you like a decorative plaque bearing your name? And are there any specifications you want?”
“Don’t be vain, Yizheng. My support for the Party does not require anything in return.” Yizheng nodded, and turned to leave.
“But yes. See if you can make it a gold plaque,” Guangshi called from behind his desk.
----
Today Guangshi was dressed in his best suit, the suit he wore to accompany his father to the Central People’s Congress two years ago. He was being honored today, the patron of the new Museum for War of Liberation History. Obviously he had to be there for its reopening.
A young secretary smiled sweetly at him, reminding him of his wife. She led him out into the small square outside the museum, where a row of chairs were prepared for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. A few guests were already seated. Moments later, the Secretary for Party History arrived, allowing the ceremony to proceed. The Secretary opened with a two-hour-and-fifteen-minute-long speech about the lessons of the Chinese People’s War of Liberation, the significance for the Party and the importance for children to understand the events of the war. As usual, it was a dry affair. Guangshi appreciated the thoughtfulness of the museum staff in including chairs.
He zoned out until he heard the words “Now, Mr. Wang Guangshi, who donated one million yuan to this grand undertaking, has some remarks.” He uncrossed his legs, straightened his jacket, and walked up to the podium.
“Secretary Li has already spoken of the importance of learning about the War of Liberation for children in far more eloquent words than I can conjure up. So I will not speak about that.”
“What we must remember is that the War of Liberation is not over. It has not been completely won. There is no treaty, there is no ceasefire agreement. Right? All we have is the absence of gunfire.”
“But the presence of separatists worries me greatly. We have suffered through the Century of Humiliation. And now, China has come out, and to most objective people we are the greatest country on Earth. But there are always imperialists out there, seeking to take us down. They will use the dirtiest of tricks, the filthiest of manipulation tactics. They want to tear our country apart into a million different pieces, throw us into an abyss from which we will never climb out, never recover.”
“And Taiwan is the fuse. People on there are plotting, every minute and every second, for our downfall. It is an existential threat. You let your enemies be so close, you are playing with fire. Only one will survive. And we must make sure it is us. The colonialists must never win again.”
“It is my most sincere wish to see Taiwan become part of our country within my lifetime, the sooner the better. We have waited decades for them to come to us voluntarily, which would be ideal. But that time has passed, and they have only gotten more radical. This leaves only military intervention. Before the imperialists use Taiwan as a springboard to attack our country, we must attack them preemptively. This isn’t me being aggressive, we have been backed into a corner. The US imperialists’s wishes to destroy us are not yet dead. To continue being the greatest country on Earth, we must invade Taiwan. That is all we can do.”
Thunderous applause erupted in the crowd, mostly reporters from state-run newspapers. It would not die down. Cameras kept flashing, and perhaps it was the poor quality of the cameras, but in some of the pictures Guangshi’s eyes gave off this uncharacteristic aura, as if they were scorching with a burning determination. Amid the clapping, the Party Secretary presented him with a pair of giant scissors. The blades glimmering in the sunlight, he cut the red ribbon to the main entrance of the museum. He was happy. It had been his dream to cut a large red ribbon and now he finally achieved it. His six-year-old self would have been so proud.
“And now, it is my pleasure to introduce my employees, who will put on a traditional dance show. They just completed the mandatory Marxism course I instituted, and took just three days to learn this complicated dance. A round of applause!”
About a hundred manual workers flooded the stage, all dressed in the red and white striped uniforms of the company. As the music played, they started to twirl and move, somewhat in unison. Yizheng, as the choreographer, silently motioned for them to watch the timings of the lead dancer while sweating partly from the heat, partly from nervousness.
As the workers ran as a group to their final formation, a worker tripped on his own shoelace and fell flat on his face with a cartoonish thump. Guangshi grimaced, watching stony-faced while Yizheng barked out, “Get up and run!” The reporters at the back pretended not to notice. Guangshi silently wondered if perhaps three days of two-hour practice sessions each were enough. Better make it two weeks of practice from sunrise to sunset, he thought. Or maybe just hire professional dancers instead.
The music ended, and the audience and reporters began to clap. Guangshi stole a look at Secretary Li, who slowly slipped his phone back into his pocket and started to clap with little enthusiasm. Guangshi thought he spotted a game of Solitaire on it. At least he is clapping, he thought.
A few dozen cameras flashed as they posed and put on their “official photograph” face. As they were walking back into the building, the Secretary approached Guangshi. “Mr. Wang. I had no idea you were this passionate about the state of our country,” He said.
“To tell the truth, I wasn’t fully appreciative of the Party a few months ago. I had to take time to learn about the history, and then I understood fully the grand transformation the Party had done for us ordinary folks,” He gushed.
“Well, we too are appreciative of the donations you made. Look at the gold-plated dome! In return, we would like to show you a bit of gratitude. Do you still own Hongqi Steel Furnaces?”
“What? Hong… Hongqi? Oh Hongqi, yes, yes I do.” He had almost forgotten about the company he made up on a whim years ago.
“Well, Hongqi is now the official contractor for our plans to expand Merca, a port in Somalia. It’s a major development project there.” He looked around and dropped his voice to a whisper. “But it looks like we will get sovereignty of the port for 999 years, since they’re in a civil war and they owe us lots of money for the major development projects. That’s as good as forever. The port is going to be big through our Belts and Roads initiative and will need to grow massively.”
The Secretary smiled and held out his hand. “Congratulations on your good fortune.”
Like a man who had not eaten in days finding an abandoned sandwich by the road, he snatched up the Secretary’s hand gratefully.
----
Despite gaining a massive contract, Guangshi’s workload had barely increased. He had finally found the most important quality to a boss, one which he incidentally possessed. He was a naturally gifted delegator. Whenever the company requires any input, he delegates the task to Yizheng. Yizheng, savoring any business-related experience, jumped on any opportunity to be delegated upon.
Guangshi was again bored and began to browse the web. He went on a popular foreign forum, only accessible to some in China. Yes, the Great Firewall was still up and running, but that had never stopped those as high up as he was. It was the equivalent of going through a door in the hole, presenting his birth certificate to prove his lineage, and walking straight past the guards without a care in the world.
I am in enemy territory now, he thought. As a patriot, it is my duty to be vigilant and correct these know-nothing white devils on their misconceptions about my great country.
He scans down. He spotted a post that said “China’s maglev network spans country”. It was a beautiful map, with lines depicting the maglev tracks crisscrossing all over China. And none of the neighboring countries had more than 20km of maglev tracks. He smiled. Maybe they are seeing what our system can do, he thought. He liked it and left a comment saying “China truly has distinguished transportation. The trains are fast, they are safe, they are on time. It is just superlative.”
He left that post and continued scrolling. The next one that caught his eye read “Just learned that China campaigned to kill all the sparrows, which left the bugs to destroy the crops”. He grumbled. He knew what this was referring to.
He went on Baidu to search for the Great Leap Forward. After all, what good is an argument without facts to back it up? He loaded up with facts, and prepared to spit it out into the face of these ignorant idiots.
Click, clack, click, clack. The sound of typing echoed throughout the room. “Actually that is not true at all. The famine of 1959-61 was completely due to weather patterns. In 1958, the Yellow River flooded, massively affecting crop harvests. Then in the next two years, droughts affected half of the farmland. That is why the crops failed. The CIA made up the sparrow story. It wasn’t in literature until 1968. Wake up! You are being used by American Imperialism to justify another war, to dethrone China! You will never win, idiots!”
He grinned after typing that out. Another moron educated, he fulfilled his quota for today. He scrolled down further, He started to watch this video of a cat.
The person from the post had returned. And this time he brought ammunition. He replied with a propaganda poster of China in that 1960s style. It read clearly, “Children! Comrades! Struggle for the extermination of sparrows, for the abundance of crops!”. In the background, a young boy was holding up a slingshot, poised to hit the next sparrow that lands near.
He was unnerved. This guy was good, he admitted. Guangshi replied again. “That is exactly what I am talking about. CIA made this poster in the 60s to try and paint us as stupid. But I saw through your plot. So you are the stupid one!”
He pressed send, and continued scrolling down. But his grin was gone.
In a few minutes, the guy returned. He replied with dozens of propaganda posters, calling for the “ridding of four pests”, struggling against adversity to produce more crops, and more. Invariably, there was always a dead sparrow in the background. Some of the posters also mentioned the year.
This is only an illusion, you cannot scare me, he muttered under his breath. He kept searching for counter-evidence, but couldn’t find any to disprove the existence of those posters. Those posters were not even on the databases of Baidu! And how do you prove the non-existence of something that doesn’t exist?
He reached for the nuclear option. It was his last card to play.
“NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL NMSL”, read his comment.
He smiled slowly. That will teach the foreigners from ever thinking of questioning our motherland again, he thought. He just insulted that person’s mother! Anyone with a shred of decency will not let the events of today repeat to preserve their mother’s dignity. It may have been an ugly win, but it’s a win. And what can they do? They can’t un-insult their mother! They can do nothing, and they will just have to live with it.