continuing
As I was picking myself up off the shooter’s shack floor, I glanced over to the TV.
The ballplayers were all wandering around the field, looking skyward. Evidently, there was this hellacious explosion…even the television sports commentators were speculating as to what happened.
Whoops.
I looked out into the quarry. The wall that I had charged had receded some 75 feet.
There was rather a large amount of shattered, blasted dolomitic limestone now in the quarry. Enough, I found out later, for a full month’s worth of orders.
We never did find the blasting mats. I think they sort of evaporated.
Luckily, the quarry is essentially an open amphitheater in plan view; basically a big hole in the ground with vertical limestone walls. The shockwave of the blast that didn’t spend itself shattering the limestone into which it was housed, blew out laterally, hit the opposite quarry wall, rebounded, and then dispersed, rather energetically, vertically upward.
I set off car alarms for a 20 block radius.
There were no broken home windows, as the lion’s share of the shock wave was redirected upward.
Good thing there were no low flying zeppelins or dirigibles in the area...
I waited the requisite time to allow for any loafers. There were none, so I jumped into the nearest wheel loader and began clearing the quarry floor. Hell, I had to so I could open the front gate.
As I was clearing the floor, making pile number eight of the loose rock I had liberated, I heard the characteristic whoop-whoop of emergency vehicles.
I parked the wheel loader, opened the front gate, and raised the green flag. That was enough blasting for one day.
A few minutes later, three police cars zoom into the site. Two were local city cops, and one was a state trooper.
“Hi, guys!” I waved, “Nice day, innit?”
“Doctor Rock! We should have known.” One of the local boys groaned.
“Hey, I did call you beforehand, as per procedure,” I said.
Polack the cop walks up, just knowing I was responsible. “Yeah, but we didn’t figure on you terrorizing the entire city.”
“Polack! How goes it?” I asked.
The other local cop and the state trooper look to Polack, “You know this maniac?”
“Oh, hell yeah. For years. Don’t worry, the good doctor is mostly harmless.” He chuckles.
“Damn. OK. I guess everything’s OK. Just no more shooting today, please, Doctor. It’s going to take hours to calm everyone down.” He laments.
“Yes, sir. I’m done for the day.” I reply, snickering slightly.
The one local and state trooper depart, shaking their heads in amazement. This left Polack to follow me over to the shooter’s shack to mooch a cigar and whatever else he can find.
“Jesus Hula-Dancing Christ, Rock. What the hell was that? I was all the way out in Whitewatosa and heard you.” He asks as he sneakily snakes a smoke out of my case.
“Just some common chemicals in the proper proportions.” I snicker.
“Which were?” he asks.
I go in the back of the shed and toss him an empty container of one of the parts of the binaries I used. He catches it, reads the label, and drops it like a live grenade.
“Binaries? Fuck! Like what you used at the tower?” he asks.
“Yep. I used just a little more.” I reply.
“Little more? Damn, as I said, we’ve been briefed on the stuff. This shit’s nasty.” He shakes his head.
“Yeah. Fun, too.” I reply.
Polack grabs a Sprechler’s Cream Soda out of the fridge as I opt for a cold Cream Ale and shot of potato juice. Hell, I was done for the day, so…
We sit around and have a chat, just shooting the shit, as it were. Manly topics, so the conversation eventually steered over to guns.
“Hey!” Polack remembers, “That’s right! You fucking owe me. Let me borrow that fucking cannon you carry. I want to show the chief a thing or two.”
“Yeah, that’s right”, I agree, “When do you need it?”
“This Friday, after shift. It’s the monthly qualifiers for us.” He notes.
“Are pyromaniacs allowed in?” I ask.
“To observe? Sure. To shoot? Nope. Insurance regulations.” He says.
“What time?” I continue.
“1800 hours.” He tells me.
“I’ll be there. I’ll bring my gun and an assortment of loads. Hey, this could be fun!” I evilly smile.
“Doctor. You’re doing that thing again. You’re grinnin’ like a shithouse rat. You know how much that scares me. Stop it.” He pleads.
“No worries. Friday at 1800 hours.” I reply, grinning.
Polack slurps down his Sprechlers, snitches another stogie, and squeals out of the quarry in a cloud of dense dolomitic dust.
I arrive back at our flat, after stopping for two frozen custard Turtle Sundaes, to go. I give one to an appreciative wife and I ask her about her day.
“Oh, went shopping with Oma. Got the cutest shoes, and a new purse, and…oh well, never mind. You’ll see.”
Between bites of Turtle Sundae, she asks how my day went.
“Oh, my dear. I had a real blast.” I replied, not lying in the least.
Monday, after my first classes, I’m back in the faculty lounge, savoring a Greenland Coffee.
There was the usual instructor chatter when Dean Vermiculari walks in.
“Good morning, Dean!” I say. “Care for a sit-down and a coffee?”
“Good morning, Doctor Rock. Yes, please to both.” He replies.
I fix us both a fresh Greenland Coffee and return to our table. I hand him one and sit down to savor my soupçon.
“How was your weekend?” I ask the Dean of the College.
“Oh, very nice. Had a fine time catching some perch and crappie out on Lake Genever. I see you had a victorious weekend as well. Twice.” He smiles.
“Twice?” I asked.
“Well, your handling of the tower demolition made all the papers. Very, very well done, Doctor. I congratulate you.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. That means a lot. Just doing what I can with what I’ve got. But twice?” I replied.
“It wasn’t front-page news, but I saw there was some, well, let us just say, ‘energetic activity’ out at the Silurian reef limestone quarry yesterday.” He grinned.
“Oh, yes. I had a job to do and well, as I always say: ‘Nothing succeeds like excess.” I smile back.
“Quite. This beverage you’ve created is really rather extraordinary, Doctor. Again, I thank you.” He tips his mug my direction in the age-old Midwestern salute.
“It’s a little recipe I picked up on my last expedition to the northlands. I grew rather fond of the concoction.” I replied.
“Ah, I see. Marvelous.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. High praise indeed.” I reply.
“Which leads me to…ah, Doctor Rock. I have another favor to impose upon you.” He says, all serious.
“Yes, Dean? How can I be of service?” I ask.
“We, as you no doubt know, have many, many fine extractive mineral company connections. We actually receive quite a large amount of funding and endowments from them. They recruit here extensively for our young geoscientists. Now, since Dr. Pataariki has left for industry himself, I would like to appoint you as the College of Natural Sciences corporate liaison.” He explains.
“Indeed?” I replied, too stunned for words for once.
“Yes, indeed.” He continues, “It will require travel, mostly domestic, and delivering symposia at various companies on differing extractive geological subjects. You will also serve as host and university coordinator when they are present on recruiting tours. There will, of course, be additional remuneration to accompany the added responsibilities.”
I slurped my coffee, thinking furiously.
“Could I please first discuss it with my wife before I answer?” I ask.
“Oh, Doctor. Of course, of course. Take your time. I will not require a reply until… tomorrow.” He smiles, finishes his coffee, thanks me again, and toddles out.
“Yow, Es!” I exclaim, “This is one hell of an opportunity. It’s never before been offered to a junior professor. This will cement my tenure-track. It’s going to be a bitch with time, though. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, Rock, honey, I think you should do…” Es begins.
“No! None of that ‘do what you think is best’ stuff. I want your own thoughts, just like when I decided to go after my doctorate.” I explained.
“OK, then.” Esme looks all serious like she’s going to deliver a bipartisan political speech.
“Yes.” She says, firmly
“That’s it?” I ask.
“Yep. You asked I answered. We’ll make it work. We always do. You can’t let the Dean down. You will accept tomorrow without fear or qualms of your wife’s hesitations, of which I harbor none.” Esme proclaims.
“Did I ever tell you of the myriad reasons I love you so?” I ask.
The next morning I meet with Dean Vermiculari. He’s pleased that I accept and hands over to me the charter. Then the lists of company representatives, their contact information, and some other secret stuff that I can’t divulge right yet.
A raft of oil companies will be coming in the late spring semester, so I need to contact each and every one to solidify dates, times and positions for which they’re recruiting. But that’s for then, I have something more proximal for now.
I have a Friday appointment with Polack the cop at the town police shooting range.
I arrive spot on time with my Casull .454 Magnum pistol, in its carry bag, along with a small duffel crammed with Pyrodex, Tannerite, and selection of specialty loads I had Herman the German, the inveterate gunsmith, create.
Herman the German, his actual sobriquet, was this incredible gunsmith, craftsman, and all-around artillery specialist. Have any sort of problem with a rifle, shotgun, or pistol? See Herman. Gun holding too high? See Herman. Barrel warped? See Herman. Need solid gold projectiles for a certain one-off job? See Herman.
Herman the German can sort it out.
Just never ask him: “How?”
“Ach! I’ve lived so long to learn, and you want it free? I’ll fix it, you pay, but I am only one knowing how!”
Herman was a cranky old Kraut, and has lived here for as long as anyone can remember. Even my Grandfather had deferred to Herman when he had some particularly delicate machining operation that need special attention and was unique.
As far as anyone knew, Herman had no family, but was never at a loss for friends. He was one of the most popular, and well known, but still oddly really unknown, kind of mysterious, old bastards in the entire community.
Herman the German liked me because I could obtain for him certain high-energy things he couldn’t. All were entirely legal, but some were sort of out there in the gray zone.
He also liked that I was educated, as he held education in the highest esteem. He also liked that I was of German extraction myself.
I often made it a point to drop by with odd and unusual high-octane potables while never expecting anything in return other than a story or a shared cigar.
Herman created some special loads for my .454 Magnum, which he prized.
“I like your gun, Doctor Rock, it is so big! I can still see well enough to build things for it.” He told me one day over cheroots and Schnapps.
Herman was a character to be certain. It must have been the pixie in him to dream up some of the specialty rounds he created for me to share with the local constabulary.
He lived out in the county by himself in an old farmhouse. He had a full machine shop in his basement, complete with forge, metal handling equipment, and a firing test range.
He handed back my .454, rather solemnly.
“Doctor, I am afraid to say I couldn’t test all the special rounds I’ve created for you. I need to patch the hole in the cinder blocks in the downstairs range. Your gun punched right through the back…” he apologized.
Now, Herman does all sorts of work on the local’s deer rifles, the police’s ordinance and has even worked some with the Baja Canada National Guard. Some of the little novelties he’s dreamed up for me are the first to escape his homemade basement test range.
I felt oddly honored.
After proving who I was to the nice range officer, I looked around trying to find Polack.
“It’s 1550. Where the hell is Polack? I wondered.
“Rock! Over here.” Polack calls to me.
He motions me outside to the police department’s tactical outdoor range. I had thought all along he was referring to the indoors police target range. This might pose some problems.
The tactical range was a series of clapboard shacks, all setup and designed to represent some downtrodden urban inter-city landscape. There were a couple of junked cars, broken sidewalks, storefronts, houses, bus stops…in short, all things necessary to replicate the seediest sections of a settlement where malefactors live and breed.
The cops all run around this range, shooting at bad guy pop-up cut-outs and avoid the not-bad-guy pop-up cut-outs. They’ve got music blaring, firecrackers going off, all trying to re-create a shady deeply urban environment. Points are awarded by the accuracy of fire on the run, time to maneuver the course, and the ability of not gunning down innocent bystanders.
It is not the best place to test a .454 Cusall. This hand cannon recoils like a fundamentalist Christian being solicited for donations to Anton LaVey, shoots flames and incandescent gasses like Smaug after a hard night of drinking and a stop at the Taco Bell buffet, is louder than a dime-store Karen demanding to see a Manager, and more powerful than a Ghost Pepper suppository.
To quote Joe Piscopo: “It shoots through schools.” Especially faux-schools made of plywood.
A .32 or .38 cop special is the correct weapon here; even a 9mm is a little heavy. Enough power to make a serious dent, easy on control, light on the recoil…a good tactical weapon.
But, nothing succeeds like excess.
Polack’s Chief is running around, capping off his ‘big ol’ .44 Magnum, and making the valley echo. He punches considerable holes in the pop-up cut-outs, but has such a hard time handling the recoil, his score is barely passable.
Polack runs his test with his standard 9mm sidearm and qualifies easily. However, he’s nowhere near done with his Chief yet.
I suggest to Polack we have a shoot-off. And since a .44 Magnum bullet ‘is so close to a .454 Magnum’, which it isn’t…the .454 Casull generates nearly 85% more recoil energy than the .44 Magnum; that we’d need something other than holes punched in plywood to judge the efficacy of each.
We are literally just down the road from Max Yazzer’s farm and market. They’re the place you go for your Halloween jack-o-lantern. However, now, he has a surplus of melons.
I think you can see where this is headed…
I borrow Polack’s personal conveyance and run down to Max’s farm. I return with a trunk-load of elderly, overripe, cheap as chips, melons. Watermelons, Honeydews, Musks, and Casabas.
We place them in strategic areas on the course, five for the Chief to find, and five for Polack.
A .44 vs. a .454 melon-wise results in pretty much the same sort of mess: high-velocity fruit spatter. Although, the Chief was very impressed by the report of the .454. So, after running the tactical-melon course, clear demarcation of a winner was elusive.
OK, OK, clever dicks. How about this? A standing shoot-off? We’ll set up 3 melons each at 30, 20, and 10 yards. Beginning at 30 yards, your time will be until you take out all three melons. But, they’re not going to be in a straight line, we’re going to make them somewhat camouflaged. You will stand in one small demarcated area, hunt those miscreant melons, and bring them to justice. Fastest time and greatest display wins, as determined by the Police Peanut Gallery.
Polack and the Chief agree.
The Chief goes first and dispatches the melons, with a fair amount of spatter, in 15.3 seconds.
Not bad.
Polack is next. He wipes out all the melons and creates some thoroughly impressive displays with Herman’s ‘special’ rounds. Normal ballistics for the .454 are, for a 250 grain (16 g) bullet, a muzzle velocity of over 2,400 feet per second, developing up to 2,800 ft-lb of energy.
Herman’s hot loads are double that.
Polack wins the day on impressive high-velocity melon distribution, but misses, so close, with a time of 17.0 seconds.
Recoil’s a bitch.
Then there are Herman’s ‘specialties’.
The Chief is duly impressed and even comments that his ears are ringing even with the ear protectors. He asks to inspect the weapon. He is even more than duly impressed.
Polack knows what’s up and asks the Chief if he’d like to give a whirl.
Of course, the Chief can’t back down.
Polack loads the .454 with 5 of Herman’s specialties: hollow-point rounds loaded hot, compressed, and tipped with alkaline earth metals, like metallic sodium and metallic potassium…
We set up the nastiest, glorpiest, just barely-holding-together, overripe, laced with Tannerite (an impact-actuated low-explosive) watermelon at the ‘Concealed Carry’ distance of 5 meters.
We slowly fade back into the distance to avoid the inevitable ‘Gallagher reaction’.
The Chief fires one, and just nicks the top of the melon. Don’t laugh, with the type of recoil and heft of the sidearm, and tensing up in anticipation, it’s easy to be off the mark initially.
The second round impacts dead-center. Now, alkaline earth metals and water don’t get along really well. In fact, their relationship is explosive. Especially explosive when delivered at 2,900 feet per second.
The Chief catches a huge smattering of vitamin-packed watermelony back blast goo.
He’s not entirely happy. He looks positively grisly with all that blown-up melon schmoo on his nice, neat uniform.
He returns my gun and bans me from ever showing up at the police range again.
Polack is on traffic duty for the next month.
He figures it was well worth it.
Back at the flat, Esme is shaking her head and wondering if I’ll ever grow up.
“I may grow old, but I’ll never grow up.” I reply.
I see I have several missed phone calls. Ah, me; no rest for the weary. Back to company-university liaison duties.
After I had contacted these companies, I receive no less than 12 requests for symposia, talks, and seminars to be given to various level of industrial scientific employees in their respective companies.
I am now slated to give academic conferences on stratigraphy, sedimentology, and seismic structural geology to different companies in Houston, Oklahoma City, Denver, Casper, Corpus Christi, New Orleans, and Tulsa. In the next 12 weeks, I’ll be giving no less than 8 talks in seven cities.
I speak with Dean Vermiculari on how best to handle the situation. He understands and appoints two graduate student teaching assistants to handle my classes while I’m on the road. That relieves me of being physically there, but I still have to grade papers, compose lesson plans, and keep things running smoothly until finals.
Besides giving the talks, there’s travel to oil fields, production facilitates, manufacturing plants, hotels, restaurants while I’m in town…the pace is excruciating. I’m gone more than I am at university. Plus in my time back home, I’m still the ad hoc master blaster for the limestone quarry.
Then, there’s the companies arriving on campus, and the roles are reversed. Now I’m the welcome wagon and have to sort out the logistics of receiving the company representatives. I need to set up the colloquia to introduce the companies to the prospective students, arrange lodging, arrange passes for the university, transportation, “Meet-and-Greet’s, ad infinitum.
I knew this was having a bit of effect on me when I came back to the flat after one particularly grueling ordeal of canceled flights, full hotels, missed connections and lukewarm reception by the company workers.
“Hello”, I said, as I walked in the flat, “I believe you have a reservation for…”
Esme just stood there, wondering if I was having a laugh.
No, I wasn’t. I was completely hallucinating from road weariness, lack of sleep, jet lag, and total disorientation. This continued on for the next approximately 18 months.
Esme was beginning to have second thoughts about all this.
My teaching load was diminished by one whole introductory course. However, I was still flying hither and yon, delivering symposia, meeting with young geoscientists and getting to know the ins-and-outs of the Oil Industry.
I found it particularly fascinating.
Time marched on and it was once again it was the recruiting season. We had no less than eight oil companies visiting the university in their quest to swell the roster of their junior scientists.
I’m still busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm, but have settled into a groove of sorts. I know the company recruiters and they now know me. I’ve actually struck up friendships with several. Particularly since I take them to the best local restaurants and bars after their recruiting duties are finished.
I’ve met with recruiting representatives of Shrill Petrol, Mexxon, Nobil, Nocono Oil, Flug, Geddy, Brutish Petroleum, and Qexaco.
The recruiting season is winding down and I find myself with Red (not Adair), of Nocono Oil.
“Well, Doctor Rock”, Red states, “Another fine recruiting run. We’ve snagged two of your young geologists and one geophysicist. I’d say it was almost a perfect score.”
We’re sitting in the Norton’s Steakhouse. After a couple of prime pink porterhouses, we’re working on the post-dinner double vodka and bitter lemon for me, and Lagavulin for Red.
“Almost perfect?” I ask.
“Yeah. There’s been this one small nagging concern from our company higher-ups.” Red continues.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“We need some more senior people. For one thing, we’ve recently opened a new petroleum laboratory down in our Houston office. Going to need some serious talent to run that show.” Red says.
“I see”, I reply, “And…?”
“We need mentors. Those with varied and far-flung knowledge. They must be well educated, global in experience and stature, with an [ahem] diverse set of skills.” Red notes.
“Whew”, I agree, “That’s a tall order. You want my help with names of possible candidates? Is that it?”
“Not as such, Doctor.” Red drains his drink, motions for me to do the same, and orders another round.
Our drinks arrive and Red downs half his in one gulp.
“Well, then”, I continue, “How can I help?”
Red chuckles, “For someone so educated, you can really be thick as two short planks at times.”
I sit back, and sip my Old Thought Provoker.
The mercury-vapors light off.
“No!” I say, incredulously.
“Oh, yes.” Red smiles.
“No?” I ask, slowly taking in the possible effects of what he’s hinting at…
“OK, Doctor Rocknocker”, Red gets all serious and corporate, “We’d like to offer you a position at Nocono Oil as Senior Laboratory Manager and Head of Corporate Continuing Education.”
You could have knocked me over with a grenade. I was stunned. I fumbled with my drink.
“Red, you old con artist” I reply, “Is this a set-up?”
Red, serious as a heart attack, looks directly at me and replies, “Doctor Rock, absolutely not, it’s a genuine offer.”
He slides over a folder with some papers inside. “Here are the particulars.”
Reeling, I accept the folder. I open it and right after the corporate logos and legal bullshit, I see a tall figure with a whole raft of zeros trailing behind it.
I read furiously. The job would be both interesting and challenging. It would be in Houston, with travel and teaching at all other company outposts on a regular basis. I reexamine that figure from before and verify that I’m not now hallucinating.
The job comes with furnished, corporate-paid housing, incredible benefits, loads of opportunity for advancement, more opportunity to travel, really generous vacation time…
“Right. On the level?” I ask again.
“Yep.” Red bluntly says.
“Well”, I gulp, “you know I have to discuss this with Esme”, whom he’s met several times previous.
“Of course, and you probably want to finish out the semester, correct?” red asks.
“Oh, yes.” I reply. There would be a monsoon of paperwork and other grunt work I’d need to conclude or hand over if I were to accept this offer.
“OK, then”, Red finishes his drink, motions for me to do the same, a real rarity; but I was in another dimension at this point. He orders another round and sits back, waiting on a refill.
“You have two weeks to reply” Red states.
“I know that’s not a terribly long time, but we need to fill this position ASAP. Can I ask for that? Your answer, yea, or nay, within a fortnight?” Red demands.
“Yes”, I reply. “I at least owe you that.”
And that was the end of the discussion for the night about me joining the private sector. We stayed a few more hours, chatting, smoking my cigars, and discussing everything but the lumbering elephant in the room.
We part outside as I need to head back to our flat. Red wants to go downtown to one of those “Gentleman’s Clubs” he’s heard were so famous at the time.
I was flummoxed the whole cab ride home.
It was late when I returned, but I simply had to wake Es with the news.
“Rock, for pity’s sake, its 2 o’clock in the morning!” Es protests. “Can’t this wait until later?”
“Sorry, my dear” I reply, probably as serious as I ever had with Esme. “This is a potential game-changer.”
“What is it? Are you OK?” Esme trembles.
“Oh, I’m fine. Better than fine.” I reply.
She’s relieved.
“Then what’s so important?” she asks.
“Um…how would you like to move to Houston?” I ask.
“You going to teach at Cougar High (University of Houston)?” she inquires.
“Nope. Brace yourself. I’ve been offered a job with Nocono Oil.” I finally spill the beans.
Esme is slightly stunned and sits down.
I go to the wet bar, fix me a bracing potato juice and citrus and Esme a stiff white Zinfandel.
I hand her the wine and she is still semi-dazed and digesting the information.
I slurp a good portion of my drink, retrieve her Sobranjes and me a cigar from my Turkmenistan humidor.
I sit on the couch next to her and hug her soundly.
“Esme? Es? Earth to Es? You in there?” I joke.
“Oh, Yeah. Rock. Really? Hang on”, she leaves, returning with her housecoat as this might take a little time.
“So?” I ask, “Your thoughts. Now! Immediately! Initial reaction!” I try to jar her back into reality.
“Well, what do you want?” she asks.
“C’mon, my dearest. You know I hate that. No, what do you think? What do you honestly think?” I reply.
We both fire up our smokes, and I refresh our drinks. We return to the dinner table where Red’s folder lies.
“Es, here. Look at this.” I say, sliding the portfolio over to her.
She reads like a hungry man at a Vegas casino buffet. I can tell where she was stopped by something extraordinary.
“This is for real?” she asks, “Red’s not pulling a fast one?”
“Nope. It’s the genuine article”, I tell her, “He needs my reply within two weeks.”
“Rock, Rock…I just don’t know. It’s a lot to process at 0230 in the morning. Let’s go to bed and have a think in the morning. You have the luxury of at least that amount of time.” She notes.
“Right again, as usual”, I say, “Stuff it. It can wait.” We toddle off to bed.
The next morning, over Cuban omelets and Greenland Coffees, we sort through the particulars.
“Rock, it’s an extraordinary offer. But, do you want to leave teaching? I remember how you got all animated by Dean Vermiculari giving you the corporate liaison job and how that would improve your shot at tenure.” She notes.
“I just don’t know. I’m still shell-shocked.” I tell her. “Let me go to school and we’ll pick this up tonight. We both have work to do no matter what. Oh, bloody hell. I hadn’t considered your job. Another wrinkle in the mess.”
“Don’t you worry about that”, Esme smiles. “One catastrophe at a time.”
“I do so love you.” I hug her soundly. “Think I should mention this offer to anyone at school?”
“No. Definitely not.” Esme shakes her head. “Let’s figure this out on our own.”
“I agree”, I say, kiss her and depart for school once again.
The next week was a blur. Recruiting duties were dragging and I was being preoccupied.
Even my students noted the lack of in-room explosions lately.
I spend the next Saturday at the quarry, doing some small amount of blasting. I quiz the quarry owners about their progress in acquiring a new master for the quarry’s operation.
“Oh, Doctor Rock” they gush, “You’re doing such a fine job, we haven’t really looked. Why do you ask?”
“No particular reason at this time, I reply, “But perhaps you might want to begin looking”
The chinks in my armor were finally starting to show.
Sunday was spent out on Sliver Lake, with Esme and me chasing the elusive crappie, perch, and bucketmouth bass. It also gave us a chance to clear our heads from work, school and other such intrusions. We both needed a bit of downtime.
Later that night, after a meal of beer-battered fillet of crappie and perch on the barbie, we sit down at the dinner table.
The portfolio sits there, taunting us.
I get up, makes us both our drinks, sit down and declare that this is it.
“Es, darling” I say, “its nut-cuttin’ time. We need to make our decision.”
“You’re right.” Es agrees, “Time for risk-reward analysis. Get some paper and some pencils.”
We spend the next few hours listing the pros and cons of accepting the Houston position or staying here and pursuing my tenured professorship.
After several hours, I stretch, stand, and go to the fridge. I retrieve the bottle of Bollinger Les Vieilles Vignes Francaises I had purchased the other day.
I return to the table with the wine and the glasses, pop the cork and pour us both a glass of high-brow bubble water.
I hug and kiss Esme like I had just returned from a long, solo expedition.
“Esme, my darling. I’d like to propose a toast. First to us. Hа здоровый!”
“Cheers!” Esme replies.
“Secondly to Red, Dean Vermiculari, the quarry guys, Polack the Cop, and all the others that makes our life weird around here.”
“Seconded”, Es echoes.
“Finally: to Houston, Texas. Our new home!” I finally add.
The next morning, Dean Vermiculari peers over the top of his pince-nez glasses. He’s not looking overly happy with me right now.
“Why is it, Doctor, that everyone that receives the job of corporate liaison ends up going with corporate?” he asks.
“Perhaps it’s just the exposure to another world that exists beyond academia.” I reply, truthfully.
“Doctor Rocknocker,” the Dean gravely states, “I am not at all happy about your decision. We had great hopes for you here and you were riding right up the tenure track. Another five years and it would have been assured.”
“Five years is a long time, Dean”, I state the obvious.
“Yes, indeed.” The Dean replies frostily. “However, you are young. Perhaps you need to get this private sector nonsense out of your system, then you can return to academia where you belong.”
“Perhaps, perhaps”, I reply.
“Please, do consider this option down the road. You and your antics will be missed here, by students and faculty alike.” He says.
“I will, Dean, I promise.” I reply “However, for now, it’s time for my boot heels to be wanderin’.”
“Doctor, I will miss your strange and unique way of looking at life. I reluctantly accept your resignation at the end of the current semester and wish you all the best in your newest endeavors. Please remember us when corporate support for academia is mentioned in your new company.” he says.
“I promise you, Dean, I will not forget what I’ve learned here and what you’ve taught. It’s the least I can do,” I reply. “I will never forget my roots.”
“All I can ask”, he concludes. He stands to shake my hand. We shake and my audience is over.
I resign from the quarry a week later. They haven’t found a new blaster but wish me well on my new journey. I tell them I’m here until the end of the semester, so I won’t leave them high and dry.
I tell Polack the Cop about all the goings-on.
“Who the hell can I roust for beer and cigars now?” He whines. “Let me know when you get to Texas if they need any cops. I wouldn’t mind trying’ that. Hell, maybe a Texas Ranger!”
“A Cheesehead Ranger…?” I assure him I will and pass a box of cigars to him as a parting gift. He gives me a mayoral-signed get-out-of-jail-free card.
“Now you can drive that old Harley just as crazy as you want.” He chuckles.
“Thanks, Polack.” I say, shaking his hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I sold my bike a week earlier.
Red was very chuffed with the news.
“Snagged me a big one this time!’ He laughed, over the phone.
There was enough paperwork, considerations and decisions to be made to last the remaining time Esme and I had in-state until our move. Already, a moving company had arrived, done inventory, and was preparing for our move to Houston.
Esme resigned her position and decided she wanted to take some time off. She wanted to be a housewife, a colleague, and not have to work for once at an outside job. My new position allowed for that in spades. Besides with her credentials, anytime when she wants to re-join the workforce, there are myriad opportunities in the Bayou City.
We made the choice of housing out west of town, in Katy, Texas. We could have chosen Sugarland, Addicks, Greenspoint, Greenway, or the Memorial area. However, these west Houston company properties were closest to the job and largest in square footage.
My students got wind of my resignation and relocation. They threw me an unexpected farewell party at the Gast Haus. It was nickel-beer night and since they were footing the bill, it all worked out just fine.
I would miss the old place. The camaraderie, the seasons, the university; hell my home these last many years. I’ve been on many, many expeditions, but I always returned home.
Now, home was moving and was awaiting our arrival.
Esme and I said our farewells to our families as well. We were the first through college, the first ones to travel international, the first Doctor in the family, and the first to leave the state.
That’s a lot of familial firsts.
I had to keep reminding everyone it wouldn’t be the last. Hell, we’re just moving to Texas, it’s not like we’re off to Greenland or Mongolia…
[Gasp]
We saddled up Es’s old Chevy Nova, took one last, lingering look in the rearview mirror, and said fare thee well to our previous lives.
“We’ll be back. Someday. I promise” I told the city of our youth and young married adulthood.
We decided to drive to Houston because we had the luxury of a bit of time. We needed the stretch to chew over some interpersonal and private things on the way to the next chapter in our lives. Besides, the weather was good, the roads ahead open and clear, and Texas had no ‘Open Container’ law, yet.
We pointed the old Nova south and hit the gas.
A week later, we’re wandering around our new house in Katy, Texas. Our belongings, scant though they may be, arrived the day after we did. Esme and I spent the next couple of day rearranging the house, buying necessary domestic bits and pieces, and getting to know our new neighborhood.
First thing, though, Esme wanted to replace the old Nova. I concurred, but insisted we keep it as a second car and went out to purchase our first new car as a couple.
I wanted a Land Rover. We ended up with a glossy black Toyota 4-Runner. Close enough.
I was scheduled to show up at my new job the next Monday.
I had my own parking spot, complete with “Reserved for Dr. Rock” painted on the bumper block. I was shown my new lab and was introduced to my seven laboratory assistants. I was shown the catalogs I could use to order what I needed and went over the requisition procedures.
I was trotted around to meet the company CEO, CFO, CIO, VPs and many, many more company executives and managers. I’ve met with presidents and heads of state, I was impressed but not overly. They seemed like a more or less nice bunch of chaps.
Almost exactly five weeks to the day from our arrival in Houston, I come home, yelling “Darling, I’m home!”
Esme comes to greet me with a rib-rearranging hug. She tells me to sit at the dinner table, where my long hard day at the office drink, cigar, ashtray, and lighter are already set.
“How was work, dear?” she asks, sitting down with her Perrier water.
“Oh, it’s going great. The knotheads let me have an open-ended budget until I get the labs sorted just the way I want it. These guys pay their bills on time and I have carte blanche at Wards Scientific, and other supply houses. My crew is great, no interpersonal crapola, and hard workers. I can smoke in my office and no one dares give me shit about my cigars. I’m getting to know the exploration department quite well. They’re really interested in our expeditions and are more interested in my opinions of their new exploration directives.”
Esme just smiles and sips her water.
“Odd”, I thought.
“That’s great, dear.” She says. “I am so glad to hear it.”
“Me too”, I say, “How are you holding up after all these weeks alone?”
“Oh, I’m getting used to it.” She smiles.
And smiles. Beatifically. Glowing.
“What?” I ask.
“Remember what we talked about in the car on the way down here?” She asks.
“We talked about a lot of things…” I say, suddenly my eyes grew very, very wide indeed.
“Yes. You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant, Rock.” Esme smiles.

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Events Calendar and Visitor's Guide for more info!

Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.

New Year's Eve Events

• Ballpark Village
  • Ballpark Village is ringing in this New Year with added entertainment featuring the region's best DJ's along with the Pop 2000 tour hosted by Chris Kirkpatrick of *NYSNC with performances by O-Town, Ryan Cabrera & LFO's Brad Fischetti.
• Brennan's Work & Leisure
  • Brennan’s Work & Leisure and Anti-Agency invite you on a space odyssey to celebrate the New Year, 2020.
  • Once aboard the ship, enjoy a premium bar selection, heavy appetizers of the future by Chef Josh Galliano (Companion Bakery, The Libertine) and interstellar desserts by Pastry Chef Tai Davis. Groove to the night's soundscape provided by DJ Black Guy, then step into the Zero Gravity Live Feed Photo Booth to send evidence of your journey back home.
  • All passengers must report to the orbiter near midnight for a live music performance, projection show and champagne toast to the New Year. Dress: modern cocktail attire / space shuttle launch
• Casino Queen
  • Casino Queen invites area residents to partake in one of St. Louis’ biggest parties of the decade during its New Year’s Eve celebration on Tuesday, December 31. Guests will enjoy a specialty buffet, live DJ cranking out the tunes on the casino floor, a countdown to midnight with party favors for all and exclusive prize giveaways throughout the evening.
• Chase Park Plaza
  • Dress to impress for 7th Annual New Year's Eve Ball at The Chase Park Plaza. The celebration takes place in the legendary Khorassan Ballroom and will feature musical performances of DJ Greasy, Lamar Harris & The L, and a Frank Sinatra tribute.
  • Also, the event will have a premium open bar, passed hors d'oeuvres, a balloon drop, and a champagne toast at midnight.
• Downtown NYE Bar Crawl
  • Take your tribe into the New Year at the 2020 NYE (New Year’s Eve) Bar Crawl taking place Tuesday, December 31, 2019 at many locations in St. Louis
  • Washington Ave Venues (List Can Change)
    • Lucas Park Grille (1234 Washington Ave)
    • Flannery's (1324 Washington Ave)
    • Rosalita's (1235 Washington Ave)
    • Hair Of The Dog (1212 Washington Ave)
    • 314 The City Bar (1137 Washington Ave)
    • Missouri Bar & Grill (701 N Tucker)
    • OveUnder (911 Washington Ave)
  • The Landing Venues (List Can Change)
    • Big Daddy's Landing (108 Morgan St)
    • Morgan Street Brewery (721 N 2nd St)
    • The Lou Eats & Drinks (710 N 2nd St)
• Evangeline’s Bistro and Music House
  • On New Year's Eve, Evangeline’s Bistro and Music House will host live music of all genres beginning at 6 p.m. until 12:45 a.m. The restaurant's full menu is served until 10 p.m. with a complimentary appetizer buffet from 10 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. and a champagne toast at midnight. No cover; cash bar. Tuesday, December 31, 6 p.m. to 12:45 a.m.
• From Skybar & Union 30
  • Your evening begins with a three-course, prix fixe dinner at the swanky Union 30 restaurant in Hotel Saint Louis, where options include a 30-ounce tomahawk ribeye, a 24-ounce dry-aged sous vide pork chop, or king crab legs. The $125 price includes admission to the NYE Blast at FORM Skybar on the 14th floor, which will host the Kim Massie Band, an open premium bar, and an appetizer buffet. There’s no charge for the prime view of the fireworks show at Kiener Plaza
• Four Seasons
  • In one of the most picturesque locations in all of Downtown St. Louis, meet us in the exclusive Sky Lobby to ring in the New Year. Recreating the eclectic energy of New York City, join us to watch the ball drop under the stars at midnight and move your feet to Spanky's Dueling Piano!
• Gateway Arch Riverboats
  • Ring in the new year with a view of the magnificent St. Louis skyline at this party cruise hosted by the Gateway Arch Riverboats. Featuring an elegant three-course dinner, open bar, DJ entertainment and a midnight champagne toast, the fun kicks off at 9 p.m. Reservations required.
• Helium Comedy Club
  • Ring in the New Year with an evening filled with laughter courtesy of Ryan Niemiller! Skip the chaos of the bars and enjoy a special night with food and drinks from the comfort of our restaurant, bar, lounge, and showroom.
• Hollywood Casino
  • Put a little Great Gatsby in your New Year’s Eve celebration with the Roaring '20s New Year’s Eve party at Hollywood Casino.
• Hyatt Regency
  • Ring in the new decade with two ballrooms with live music and fun at Hyatt Regency St. Louis at The Arch’s Ultimate New Year’s Eve Party. The celebration will include a delicious dinner buffet, an open bar, photo booth, party favors and live music throughout the evening from Groovethang and Broseph.
• The Last Hotel
  • Celebrate the last day of 2019 at The Last! Join others in the Lobby Bar + on their fabulous Rooftop and toast to the New Year in style.
• Molly's in Soulard
  • Get ready to party! Molly's In Soulard has one of the THE BEST New Years Eve parties in STL. They've got: 5 open bars, Two balloon drops, Champagne toasts, VIP buffets, VIP tables, and cabanas
• POP & Baileys' Chocolate Bar
  • One of the more appropriate places to ring in the new year and decade is POP, Dave and Kara Bailey’s bubbles bar and restaurant in Lafayette Square. This year, POP and Baileys’ Chocolate Bar (located upstairs) have teamed up to provide an all-inclusive celebration on December 31. The all-inclusive celebration begins at 9 p.m. Food stations include appetizers from POP and specialty desserts from Baileys’ Chocolate Bar. Tickets include beer, wine, bubbles, and cocktails, including chocolate martinis and dessert cocktails.
• Powell Symphony Hall
  • Music Director Stéphane Denève and the SLSO bring 2019 to a close at the BMO Wealth Management New Year’s Eve Celebration. Enjoy an evening of music and surprises at St. Louis’ best-kept secret. Bring family and friends together for this musical celebration you’ll remember throughout 2020.
• Tin Roof
  • Out with the old and in with a new decade. Celebrate with Tin Roof at their NYE "End of a Decade" Black and White Ball. Dress up in your best or come as you are and catch the best live music and DJ's around.
• Westport Social
  • Celebrating NYE at Westport Social means you can play like a kid while partying like an adult. For just a $25 cover, guests can play the full range of games at the Westport Plaza watering hole while also indulging in a balloon drop and champagne toast at midnight and dance to live music.
• Wheelhouse
  • Another year in the books and there’s no other holiday party like Wheelhouse NYE. And nothing is better than closing out 2019 and starting 2020 with you, your closest friends and WH doin’ what they all do best, wild out.

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• Anheuser Busch Brewery Lights
  • November 22, 2019 - December 30, 2019
  • Brewery Lights is a family-friendly event, open to all ages at no cost. Guests can attend every Friday through Sunday, from 5 to 10 p.m.
  • Join others when they Flip The Switch on November 22nd with St. Louis Blues Captain, Alex Pietrangelo.
  • Witness and experience the magic of more than a million twinkling lights during the 34th annual Brewery Lights at the Anheuser-Busch St. Louis Brewery! Guests are invited to stroll down Pestalozzi Street to marvel as the brewery is turned into a remarkable holiday experience with something for everyone, including a Kids Zone.
• Candy Cane Lane
  • December 2019
  • Every holiday season, the neighbors of this Saint Louis Hills street transform this ordinary lane into a winter wonderland that most of St. Louis knows as “Candy Cane Lane.” Hundreds of strands of Christmas Lights are strung, inflatable snowmen and Christmas trees are blown up, wreaths are hung, and even sand displays are made. Every year, hundreds of family-packed cars drive down Candy Cane Lane to see the wonderful Holiday sights.
• Disney on Ice Presents: Celebrate Memories
  • January 2-5, 2020
  • Your favorite Disney stories come to life at Disney On Ice presents Celebrate Memories, coming to Enterprise Center January 2-5! Sail along with Moana on her high-seas adventure and dance with Woody, Buzz and all the Toy Story friends. Feel inspired when love wins in Frozen and dreams come true for the Disney Princesses. Share the excitement and make new memories the whole family will treasure forever!
• First Fridays at the St. Louis Science Center
  • January 3, 2020
  • Learn the real science behind science fiction and mingle with others interested in the geekier side of life. Each month, First Friday features a different theme, hands-on activities, pub-style trivia, engaging presentations, photo opps for showing off your costume, and food and drink specials.
• Garden Glow at the Missouri Botanical Garden
  • November 23, 2019 - January 4, 2020
  • Garden Glow features a million lights surrounding visitors with a spectacle of unique installations amid some of the Garden’s most iconic locations. Enjoy interactive photo opportunities, traditional holiday music and festivities, delicious food and drinks and more as the Garden is transformed around you into a winter wonderland.
  • Santa will visit Garden Glow from 5 to 8 p.m. on Monday and Tuesday nights from November 25 through December 17. (Note: Garden Glow is not open on Dec. 9.)
• History Made: St. Louis Blues Exhibit
  • Running until January 26, 2020
  • History was made on June 12, 2019. It’s a date that will forever live in St. Louis sports history. On that day, the St. Louis Blues hoisted the Stanley Cup for the first time. On Tuesday, Oct. 1, 2019, the Missouri History Museum, in collaboration with the St. Louis Blues, will open History Made.
  • Featuring more than 20 artifacts on loan from the St. Louis Blues from the historic playoff run and the Stanley Cup Finals, History Made tells the story of the underdog team that took home the NHL’s highest honor and united its community in the process.
• Holiday in the Park at Six Flags
  • November 23 - January 1, 2020
  • A dazzling winter spectacular featuring more than a million glittering lights, holiday entertainment, delicious seasonal treats, visits with Santa and many of our popular theme park rides. Combine holiday traditions with a thrilling family experience that is uniquely Six Flags.
  • Six Flags St. Louis extends its season and will be open weekends and select weekdays from November 23 through January 1, 2020 for this one-of-a-kind magical event.
  • A unique mix of holiday cheer with some of your favorite coasters & thrill rides makes Holiday in the Park a family tradition like no other. Meet Santa Claus in the North Pole or jump on Mind Eraser or Roar for a mid-winter rush. Then you can roast marshmallows near a cracking wood fire before you catch one of our many holiday shows.
• Holiday Spirits Holiday Pop Up Bar
  • November 29, 2019 - January 9, 2020
  • Looking for somewhere new to get your party on this Holiday Season? For just a few weeks only, Oaked will be providing the very best in holiday-themed libations, good food, and an immersive atmosphere.
  • Housed in a historic brick building with almost 6,000 sq. feet of space (excluding the outdoor heated patio & bar), featuring 3 bars, and 2 levels of fun. Once inside, you’ll be transported to a Winter Wonderland and treated like family. Santa Claus will be on hand to spread holiday cheer and greet our guests as they arrive.
  • Oaked is located at 1031 Lynch St. St. Louis, MO 63118
• Kwanzaa: Festival of the First Fruits at the Botanical Garden
  • Kwanzaa is a Swahili term that means “first fruits,” and this contemporary African-American holiday centers around the feast table of the harvest. A Kwanzaa ceremony highlights a day of storytelling, craft and jewelry displays, and authentic African drumming and musical performances.
• The Loading Dock Ice Rink in Grafton, IL
  • November 23, 2019 - March 8, 2020
  • It’s that time of year! The Loading Dock Bar & Grill in Grafton is gearing up for the Grand Re-Opening of their Ice Skating Rink on Saturday, November 23rd. Each November The Boatworks is transformed into a Winter Wonderland offering ice skating, s’mores tables, and a full menu and bar, that is sure to entertain adults and kids alike.
  • The rink will be open Friday, Saturday, & Sunday through March 8. 2020 with extended hours during Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Special events this year include a visit from Santa and a New Years Eve party.
• Miracle Christmas Pop Up Bar
  • November 25, 2019 - December 31, 2019
  • Venue: Small Change 2800 Indiana Avenue St. Louis, MO 63118
  • Miracle is a Christmas-themed pop-up cocktail bar that serves holiday cocktails in a festive setting. With kitschy holiday décor, professionally-developed cocktails and the nostalgic energy of the best office party you’ve ever been to, Miracle is sure to get even the grouchiest grinch in the holiday spirit.
• Polar Express Train Ride
  • November 29, 2019 - December 30, 2019
  • Guests will take a real train ride from St. Louis Union Station to the 'North Pole' and discover the magical journey of one boy's search for the real meaning of Christmas. The Train Ride departs from St. Louis Union Station for a 45-minute adventure to the North Pole. The train ride is promised to be filled with magic, songs, and cheer.
• Soulard Farmer's Market
  • Wednesday - Saturday
  • 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM
  • Soulard Farmers Market is located at 730 Carroll Street in St. Louis, Missouri, a half mile north of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The market is open Wednesday through Saturday, year round. They feature locally grown and shipped in goods, including: produce, meats, cheeses, spices, gourmet kettle corn, flowers, baked goods, and general merchandise. There are also several different eateries that have many food options, which allows customers the convenience to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink while shopping.
• Steinberg Ice Skating Rink in Forest Park
  • November 15, 2019 - March 1, 2020
  • Steinberg Skating Rink is the largest outdoor ice skating rink in the Midwest, offering public skating all day, everyday—including all holidays. Your skate admission is valid for all day. You may arrive at anytime during business hours & skate as long as you like.
• Up on the Rooftop Holiday Pop-up Cocktail Experience
  • November 29, 2019 - December 31, 2019
  • Go "Up on the Rooftop" for a whimsical holiday cocktail pop-up experience with extreme decor and delicious seasonal drinks, small plates and more. Three Sixty at the top of the Hilton at the Ballpark overlooks the downtown lights and the glowing Gateway Arch. Cozy indoor spaces and outdoor patio fire pits.
• Wild Lights at the Saint Louis Zoo
  • November 29, 2019 - December 30, 2019
  • Wild Lights at the Saint Louis Zoo offers a chance for you to stroll through an enchanting holiday experience.
• WinterMarkt at Urban Chestnut
  • November 30, 2019 - December 21, 2019 (Saturdays Only)
  • Usher in the holiday season with a “traditional” European WinterMarkt at Urban Chestnut’s Midtown Brewery & Biergarten. Eat, drink, and be merry with local vendors on hand for holiday shopping
• Winter Wonderland at Tilles Park
  • November 22, 2019 - January 2, 2020
  • 5:30 pm - 9:30 pm
  • Enjoy a stroll through more than one million twinkling lights at Winter Wonderland. Tickets are $6, not including MetroTix fees. Pre-registration is required. Dogs on a leash, cameras, strollers and wagons are all welcome. Desserts, hot chocolate, and other beverages will be available for purchase. Also, be on the lookout for a special visitor from the North Pole until 8:45 pm!
• Winterfest at the Arch
  • November 23 - January 26, 2019 (Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays)
  • A favorite St. Louis winter tradition for all ages, the fourth annual Winterfest, presented by Bank of America and World Wide Technologies returns to Kiener Plaza and features a community ice rink, a Winter Market shopping district, reserved Igloo seating with Sugarfire table service and more exciting events than ever before.

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Sporting Events This Week

• St. Louis Cardinals schedule
• St. Louis Blues schedule
• St. Louis FC schedule
• Gateway Grizzlies schedule
• Gateway Motorsports Park

Attractions Around the Area

• Anheuser-Busch Brewery
• City Museum
• Gateway Arch
• Missouri History Museum
• National Blues Museum
• St. Louis Aquarium
• St. Louis Art Museum
• St. Louis Science Center
• St. Louis Zoo

Recurring Outdoor Activities

• Big Muddy Adventures – STL Riverfront Adventure
  • Big Muddy Adventures was established in 2002. They are the first professional outfitteguiding company providing access to the wild wonders of the Middle Mississippi and Lower Missouri Rivers.
• Hidden Valley Zip Tour
  • ZipTour zip lines take about 2.5 hours to complete. Tours run from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Riders are assigned to tour groups which are escorted through the course by two safety guides.
• Hidden Valley Ski Resort
  • Running until March 1, 2020
  • Always check the Snow Report before coming out to Hidden Valley for updates on snow and tubing conditions. Skiing, snowboarding, and tubing are weather-dependent activities and conditions and hours are subject to change without notice.​

Recurring Events on the Mississippi River

• Gateway Arch Events

Comedy This Week

• Funny Bone Comedy Club
• Helium Comedy Club
• The Improv Shop

Live Music This Week

• SoFar St. Louis
  • Experience the Gateway to the West with Sofar! From The Grove to Cherokee Street to The Loop, they're reimagining live events through curated, secret performances in intimate settings. Come mingle with touring acts, local and international artists, fellow music lovers and our imaginative hosts.
• St. Louis Symphony Concert Calendar
  • Celebrated as one of today's most exciting and enduring orchestras, the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra is the second-oldest orchestra in the country, marking its 140th year with the 2019/2020 season and its first with Music Director Stéphane Denève. Widely considered one of the world's finest orchestras, the SLSO maintains its commitment to artistic excellence, educational impact, and community connections – all in service to its mission of enriching lives through the power of music.
• This calendar includes the following venues.
  • Blueberry Hill Duck Room
  • Delmar Hall
  • Halo Bar
  • The Pageant
• Other Live Music Venue Calendars
  • Atomic Cowboy
  • BB's Jazz, Blues & Soups
  • Chesterfield Amphitheater
  • Broadway Oyster Bar
  • Enterprise Center
  • The Fabulous Fox Theatre
  • Fubar
  • Game 6 Honky Tonk
  • Firebird
  • Off Broadway
  • Old Rock House
  • Sheldon Concert Hall
  • Stifel Theatre
  • St. Louis Blues Museum
  • The Ready Room
  • Venice Cafe

I'm going in July and have done some research.
Plenty of this is from the sidebar, but other notes are from many of other sources.
The Vegas Degenerate Tour ( . ) ( . )
Things to do:

• Drugs
• Hookers
• Bellagio Fountains (free)
• Mirage Volcano Show (free)
• The lounge at the top of the Mandarin Oriental - Super Classy with amazing night time views, sexy patrons and great cocktails
• Wet Republic - Rent cabana 2 months in advance
• Las Vegas Helicopter Night Flight with VIP Transportation £65pp
• Grand Canyon Skywalk - Apparently Expensive and not that good - you have to take a bus to get there and it is $30 each. Go to Grand Canyon south instead.
• The Strip Gun Club Range
• Sapphires pool party - strippers pool party!!!
• Fremont Street Experience at night.
• Container Park, which is a few blocks east of the Freemont St. Experience, a 2 foot recycled steel praying mantis (acquired from Burning Man) spits giant fireballs to the beat of music A LOT. Lots of half naked men and women. LOTS (free)
• Ghost Bar at the Palms has amazing views. Check Groupon for deals. Happy hour 8-10pm
• Stratosphere rides
• Stratosphere bar at the top. Happy hour 2 hours after open
• High Roller observation wheel. Get a car with the open bar.
• Monte Carlo minus 5 Ice bar. Everything is made out of ice! Bar, glasses, seating - everything
• RiRa Irish bar with live music and good Guinness after 9pm
• The Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay, live music and amazing strip views
• Strip clubs: Spearmint Rhino, Hustler Club and Crazy Horse--those are our top 3 Rhino and Horse are high end and classy
• Top Golf location, just behind MGM. 5 levels of golf driving range, mixed with music, food and drinks. There are also 2 pools, free to use.#
• Dig This drive diggers and bulldozers.
• Spa in the ARIA is amazing with good treatments.
• Alibi show http://alibitheshow.com/ This experience throws the audience into an exciting adventure around the streets, restaurants, bars and other real-life locations on the Las Vegas Strip.
• BARE POOL AT MIRAGE: Go on Monday. At Bare, experience palm tree-enclosed seclusion as you relax and enjoy European-style sunbathing at Bare Pool at The Mirage. Read more https://jackcolton.com/las-vegas-dayclubs/bare-pool-mirage/
• Ride in a stuntplane! Actual vomiting everywhere http://www.skycombatace.com/
• Best price supercar rentals https://www.vegasluxuryrides.com
• Lake Mead boat rental boatbound.com
• Absinthe at Ceaser’s Palace amazing offensive comedy show http://www.ticketmaster.com/Absinthe-tickets/artist/802082
• There is so much free stuff going on up and down the strip though that you can just do all the free stuff and not spend a dime. From street dancers, people singing, or pictures with a grown dude wearing a diaper.
• Eclipse cinemas downtown for an over 21s only luxury cinema experience with cocktails and good food.
• The Linq promenade is a very nice area
• Treasures strip club: have a nice buffet and steak to go with your titty show http://www.treasureslasvegas.com/
• VooDoo Zipline at Rio Groupon $44 for two
• REAL BODIES at Ballys Groupon $35.50 for two

Tips:

• Hotel picker https://farm1.staticflickr.com/770/21800142824_6dddea1786_k.jpg
• $50 a night dining credit at ARIA somehow - research
• Do the $20 checking tip trick. Slip a $20 in between card and ID and ask to see if an upgrade is possible.
• Get player’s cards - sign up for the Player's Club (free) in each casino, they will usually give you some sort of incentive
• Buy water at a supermarket and keep at hotel
• Taxi from Airport request avoid the I-215 Airport Tunnel and go via Strip
• http://www.tix4tonight.com for tickets on the night
• Drinks are ALWAYS cheaper inside the casinos on Fremont than outside
• Harrah's has a "Million Dollar Pull" where you just go up and play a slot machine for free with the chance to win $1 million. Even if you don't win a million, you will always win something.
• If you want to go to top of the Stratosphere go to the desk to the right of the entrance and say you want to go to the bar. You won't have to pay the $15 to go to the top.
• Marketing manager for the Aria https://www.reddit.com/usetedistkrieg
• Have the clubs pick you up in their limos because all the cab/ubelyft/limo drivers get a kick back on anyone they drop off to the clubs and same with the VIP card guys! So if you don't use the free limo ... THE CLUB HAS TO CHARGE YOU A COVER!!! If you use the clubs FREE limo service they can sometimes wave that cover charge!! (that's like $20 a person!)
• Check for Groupon deals.
• Make sure you all download the Uber and Lyft app. Both offer new user signup credits. Free rides.
• A $400 Pre-Authorisation charge for resort fees and ‘amenities’ was taken as expected upon check in. I would recommend UK visitors to take a Cash Passport MasterCard (available in Thomas Cook and other travel agents)

Clubs

• Hosts contacts list for all major clubs: https://jackcolton.com/
• You can view hotel discounts at up to 30% as well as VIP table service for nightclubs at: www.VegasJames.com for strip clubs at: www.StripperKing.com
• XS Encore
• Hakkasan MGM
• Light inside the Mandalay Bay
• Tryst Wynn
• Vegas local youtuber and bouncehost Jacob Orth to hook us up with limo service to the Hustler club
• Places we personally recommend from experience:
• Hakkasan
• Omnia
• The Light
• XS
• XS does a nightitme pool party
• Gold Spike nightclub / hotel in Downtown is a bit more ‘Hipster’
• This list offers plenty more clubs to check out (many of which don’t require a cover).
• http://www.vegasvip.com/nightclubs.html

Food

• Alizé Tasting Menu - get groupon for discount £350 > $200
• Sage in the Aria has a highly rated tasting menu
• Aria buffet one of the best
• Joël Robuchon in MGM is crazy silly expensive but amazing food 16 course taster $425 each without drinks https://www.mgmgrand.com/en/restaurants/joel-robuchon-french-restaurant.html
• Guy Savoy at Caesars Palace a little cheaper 9 course tasting for $260/person or a $350/person 14 course tasting https://www.caesars.com/caesars-palace/restaurants/guy-savoy#.WI8vkRuLTIU
• é by Jose Andres inside Jaleo inside Cosmo. Only 8 seats, reservations by email only ([email protected]) starting 3 months prior to the res date, 23 courses. $190/person(?) without alcohol pairing
• Raku in Chinatown does amazing 8/12 course tastings for $70/100 a person
• The tasting, or "seasonal discover menu" at L'Atelier is up to $165 per person
• Eiffel Tower restaurant is a Must for dinner!!!!!!!! Fantastic view of the strip
• Good steakhouses serve food at the restaurant bar and the bartender has seen some shit. So much more fun for a party up to three and the service is over the top.
• Delmonico's in Venetian at the bar. The cocktails and food were amazing.
• Mushashi's dirty show (Japanese steak with a naughty show for the girls.) Midnight to 4am happy hour.
• Secret Pizza. A secret pizza place. Needs research! Inside the Cosmopolitan
• Bachi Burger – also to reunite with a previous memory. I still think this is one of the top 3 burgers I’ve ever had. The oxtail chili cheese fries are recommended by others to be a “must”, but I personally prefer the truffle fries.
• Monta Ramen – I’m a huge ramen fan and I understood this was the –best- ramen place in Vegas.
• Sweets Raku – in the same complex as Monta Ramen. They have some neat desserts that they make right in front of you, lovely experience.
• Wicked Spoon Buffet at the Cosmo. Everything was really good and the deserts were awesome.
• Brunch @ Bacchanal Buffet, Caesar’s Palace – This was awesome! We had the groupon deal and it was impressively cheap. Midway through our meal they switched to their lunch menu so we got the best of both worlds there.
• Gordon Ramsey’s Burgr – onion rings were incredible. The burger was pretty good as well.
• Earl of Sandwich - I could seriously eat these every day.
• Studio B Buffet @ M Resort
• The "Heart Attack Grill" lets you eat free if you weigh over 350 pounds.
• Marriage Can Be Murder - This is a dinner / theater / murder mystery / whodunit show at the D downtown. Includes tasty food, extreme audience participation and likely embarrassment. You may be called upon to dance, or play a character in the murder mystery. Comes with tasty food, cocktails available.
• For dinner, I highly recommend BLT Steak House in Ballys Hotel and Red8 in The Wynn - if you are a food lover, BLT’s is particularly worth the extra!

Sex/Swingers Clubs (Or; no, you filthy pervert - what's wrong with you?)

• The Red Rooster http://www.yelp.com/biz/las-vegas-red-rooster-las-vegas
• The Green Door http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-green-door-las-vegas
• Couple's Oasis http://www.couplesoasis.com/main/

Drive:
Drive along east CA down US-395 and crossing over to Nevada after Death Valley is one of the greatest drives I have ever done.
Guides:

• https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/welcome-to-las-vegas-travel-guide-cityguides
• https://www.vegas.com/traveltips/
• http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Free-Room-in-Las-Vegas
• http://www.lasvegasadvisor.com/tipping.cfm

Edited to include corrections.

Hi guys! We hope you all had a good first month of 2015! It's the February 2015 edition of the Stuff to Do in Tucson thread!
Use this sticky post to collect general stuff going on around town (including Tucson's surrounding areas) in February. You can still start new posts about an event, especially if you need help planning something. This will just serve as an easy reference.
HOLIDAY EDITION:

• Valentine's Day! Let us know what restaurants are doing special menus or just nice places to take a date. Use this thread as the Valentine's Day planning/discussion thread, please!
  
• Super Bowl! What restaurants are showing the game?! Discuss here!
  

Comment with the details (date, time, location, admission fee, age restrictions, etc.) about any November event/gathering/get-together that you think people may be interested in and I'll update the text of the main post so people can easily see what's going on.
Examples of good stuff to tell us about include:

• Art shows/exhibits
  
• Museum events
  
• Musical acts/shows
  
• Gaming get-togethers
  
• Charity events for actual charities (not kickstarter-like campaigns for your startup xyz store)
  
• Your band's upcoming gig (playing at a venue that isn't your house)
  

And more!
^{Anything advertising any specific product or anything illegal will be removed.}
FEBRUARY 1

• Big Game Viewing Party - Casino del Sol Conference Center - 3PM - free to view, $25 for tailgate buffet for purchase at event
  
• Reid Park Zoo's Teddy Bear Clinic - 11AM-1PM - free with regular zoo admission
  

FEBRUARY 3
RuPaul's Drag Race: Battle of the Seasons - The Rialto Theatre - doors 8PM/show 9PM - $32-$68 - all ages
FEBRUARY 4-8
56th Annual Tubac Festival of the Arts - 10AM-5PM - event is free, $8 to park car - all ages
FEBRUARY 6
EL TAMBÓ: Two Year Anniversary Tropical Dance Party - Hotel Congress - 9PM - free - 21+
FEBRUARY 7

• Art Safari - Central Tucson Art Galleries and Studios - 154 E. 6th St. - 6PM
  
• Southern AZ Food & Wine Festival - Tucson Botanical Gardens - 2150 N Alvernon Way - 11AM-3PM - $65/person in advance, $75/day of, $100/VIP
  
• Valley of the Moon: Fairy Lights! - 2544 E Allen Rd. - 5PM-8PM - free, but donations are welcomed
  
• Free Science Day with S.Y.Stem Coalition - Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 9AM-12PM - good for kids - free
  

FEBRUARY 8
Tucson Philharmonia Youth Orchestra - Catalina Foothills High School auditorium - 2PM - free
FEBRUARY 11
Food Truck Roundup - Rattlesnake Elementary at Continental Reserve - 8500 N. Continental Reserve Loop - 4:30PM-7:30PM
FEBRUARY 12-15
Tucson Gem & Mineral Show (Public) - Tucson Convention Center - Thurs thru Sat 10AM-6PM - Sun 10AM-5PM - $10/adult, children 14 & under free, $17/two-day pass
FEBRUARY 13-14
Carnival of Illusion: Valentine's Day Dinner and Show - Doubletree Hotel - see website for times and tix
FEBRUARY 13-16
Friends of the Pima County Library Community Book Sale - 2230 N. Country Club Rd. - 9AM-4PM
FEBRUARY 14

• 2nd Saturdays Downtown - Congress St. & Scott Ave. - 3PM - free to walk around - all ages
  
• Reid Park's Woo at the Zoo Valentine’s Event 5PM-7PM - $40/person, $35/zoo member - 18+
  
• Tejano Valentine’s Dance - Casino del Sol Conference Center - 8PM - see website for tix
  
• With One Voice One Guitar: Michael J. Fox Foundation Concert - Berger Performing Arts Center - 1200 W. Speedway - 7:30PM - see website for tix
  

FEBRUARY 17
Mardi Gras at The Parish - 6453 N. Oracle Rd. - 4PM Crawfish Boil with live music - $10/person
FEBRUARY 20
Sundowner with Nandi - 5PM-6:30PM - $50/person
FEBRUARY 21
WFF MMA - Casino del Sol Conference Center - 7:30PM - see website for tix
FEBRUARY 21 - MARCH 1
Tucson Rodeo - see website for info
FEBRUARY 22
Words on the Avenue - Cafe Passe - 415 N. 4th Ave. - sign up at 6:30PM/event at 7PM - donations of $5-$10 are encouraged
RECURRING EVENTS
NIGHTLY
SkyNights at UA Mt. Lemmon SkyCenter - 9800 East Ski Run Rd - starts around 3PM - $60 Adults , $30 Youth (7-17 yrs) includes a light dinner
WEEKLY
Geeks Who Drink - different venues every day

• Monday - Dante's Fire - 8:00 PM
  
• Tuesday - Hotel Congress - 8:00 PM
  
• Wednesday - The Auld Dubliner - 8:00 PM / Trident Grill - 8:00 PM
  
• Thursday - Aloft Tucson University - 7:30 PM (Starts Thursday, Sept 4th) / Bumsted's - 8:00 PM / The Canyon's Crown Restaurant & Pub - 8:00 PM
  
• Sunday - J&V's Bar and Grill - 7:00 PM
  

MONDAYS
Battle of the RockBands - Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 7PM-10PM - free
TUESDAYS

• Blues Dance Class at Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 7PM-8PM - free
  
• Open Mic at Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 7PM-11:05PM - free
  
• Open Blues Dance at Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 7PM-11PM - free
  
• Retro Room Board Game Nights - 337 E. Fort Lowell - 6PM
  

WEDNESDAYS

• Juggling Club - West of UA Old Main (under trees) - 4PM
  
• Open hack and craft night with Crafting Forward at Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 6PM-10PM - free
  
• Open Tango Dance at Maker House - 283 N Stone Ave. - 8PM-11PM - free
  

THURSDAYS
Gallery Row ArtWalk - 3001 E. Skyline Dr - free
FRIDAYS
Tucson Amateur Dodgeball - Marana Sports Center - 8PM
SATURDAYS
2015 MLS Preseason Soccer - also some Wednesdays thru Feb 28 - see website for info
SUNDAYS
Juggling Club - Himmel Park (near the library) - 4PM

My lovely girlfriend and I will be visiting May 28th through the 1st. Below are some ideas we got from this subreddit (THANK YOU!!) I think we got a lot covered but I'm sure there's even more. Any suggestions would be totally appreciated! But first.. a bit of info about us. Its going to be random.. Sorry.. But thanks all at the same time:
We are in our early 20s (old enough to drink). We like to drink. We are Ent friendly. We like to eat (DUH). Not really interested in going to 'clubs'. Free is always good. Cheap is nice too but that doesn't mean we wont indulge in some fine dining or a nice show (We already have tickets to BMG and Vegas The Show). Walking isn't a problem (We will get a bus/Monorailpass). The lady will probably wanna 'shop'. Not really my thing. That is all I can think of right now.
Ok so here's our list:
Free:

• Show @ The Mirage (An exploding volcano) 7,8:30,10,11:30
  
• Show @ Treasure Island (Sirens of TI) 8-12 every hour on the hour
  
• Bellagio Fountains. Every 30 min up till 8pm then every 15 after 8pm up till midnight
  
• Bellagio Conservatory and Botanical Gardens (Find this amazing treat beyond the Bellagio lobby. A 13,573 sq. ft. indoor garden extravaganza. It's ever-changing natural display has five themes per year: Christmas, Chinese New Year, Spring, Summer and Fall. Open 24hrs. daily (702) - 693-7111)
  
• Guinness Record Chocolate Fountain @ Bellagio.
  
• Atrium @ Mirage
  
• Fall of Atlantis @ Caesars Palace (The gods unleash their wrath in this animatronic extravaganza of epic proportions. Fire, water,smoke and special effects tell the tale of Atlas, Gadrius and Alia, who struggle to rule the legendary undersea city. Surrounded by a 50,000-gallon saltwater aquarium, the mythical sunken continent rises and falls before your eyes. Shows are daily on the hour beginning at 10am till 11pm)
  
• Festival Fountain @ Caesars Palace (Experience the morning sun and evening stars in a sky that changes from day to night and back again. Then see Bacchus, Venus, Apollo, and Plutus regale visitors with a magnificent sound, light, and laser show daily. Shows are daily on the hour beginning at 10am till 11pm)
  
• The Aquarium @ Caesars Palace (The Atlantis Aquarium is a 50,000-gallon, saltwater tank shaped like a horseshoe located at the north end of Caesars Palace's Forum Shops. This thank houses more than 500 colorful tropical fish, including zebra sharks and cow nose rays. Visit at 1:15pm or 5:15pm to watch the aquarists feed the fish during dive. You may even want to take a below-the-scenes guided tour of the support facilities (Monday - Friday at 3:15pm))
  
• $1,000,000 pyramid @ Binions (If you ever wonder what One Million dollars looks like? Head over to Binion's Gambling Hall & Hotel and find out!. Binion's has $1 million on display. Structured in a pyramid design of acrylic glass boxes filled with cash. The $1 million is displayed in the Binion's casino near the Club Binion's Booth)
  
• Fremont Street Experience Light Show
  
• 3D Movie at M&M's World
  
• Wildlife Habitat at the Flamingo Hotel and Casino
  
• People watch
  
• Players Club Sign-Up Bonuses
  
• Find coupon books
  
• Free Hoover Dam tour and Buffet (Free sightseeing Day tour. You will experience/see Hoover Dam (includes a 20 min photo stop), a view of Lake Mead, Historic Boulder City, Ethel M Chocolate factory tour, Wayne Newton's Ranch and stop at Primm Valley Resort (for your free buffet and access to a large discount outlet shopping mall). The tour lasts 9-10 hours and operates Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays and Friday. Hotel pick up times start at 7AM. Call 702-384-7725 (24 hours daily) for reservations and pick up locations and times. Make your tour reservations at least 1 day in advance. This tour uses a fully air-conditioned 57 passenger bus with restrooms included.)
  

Not Free:

• Lee's Discount Liquor (I will be bringing two bottles on the plane as legally allowed but I figured it would be a good idea to locate a liquor store to save money if we run out. The hotels prices are toodamnhigh.jpg)
• Bus/Monorailpass
• Circus Circus Adventure Dome $30 all day pass. (Enjoy America's largest indoor theme park with 23 rides and attractions. Open daily 10am - midnight (702) - 794-3939)
• Eifel Tower (I wanna do this at night and catch a fountain show)
• The Venetian Gondola (She'll love it)
• Pai-Gow (Play it for a while and get as many free drinks as possible.. any other suggestions like this would be great!)

Food:

• The "Buffet of Buffets" from Harrah's casinos. All you can eat at as many buffets as you want within a 24 hour period (Rio, Planet Hollywood, Paris and more).
• The M. $15 lunch buffet, $23 dinners.
• Ellis Island Brewery has a steak dinner for like $8 bucks
• Dick's Last Resort, at the Excalibur (get treated like an ahole from your waitewaitress)
• Hard Rock 777 special (Gambler's special) $7.77 8 oz Steak, 3 grilled shrimp, smashed potatoes & salad.

City Paper made a list of a some New Year's Eve events going on in Baltimore and around the area. Since we're getting so many threads asking for what to do this year, this might be of some use. It doesn't cover everything going on, though.
2013 Live! A New Year’s Eve party with a top-shelf open bar, all access to Power Plant’s nine venues, food, live entertainment, and more. 9 p.m.-1 a.m., Dec. 31, Power Plant Live, Market Place and Water Street, (410) 727-5483, nyebmore.com, prices vary.
5th Annual Midnight Noon Celebration. The Maryland Science Center is letting kids ring in the new year without staying up all night. Kids will style their own party hats, decorate snowglobes, and create their own noisemakers. Live music from Milkshake. 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Dec. 31, Maryland Science Center, 601 Light St., (410) 685-5225, mdsci.org, included in paid admission.
Baltimore’s New Year’s Eve Spectacular. Usher in 2013 with a big-ass display of fireworks over the Inner Harbor. 9 p.m.- 12:30 a.m., Dec. 31, Harborplace Amphitheater, Light and Pratt streets, promotionandarts.com, free.
Big Night Baltimore. The Big Night Baltimore New Year’s Eve party will have 10 bands and DJs, multiple dance floors, food buffets, and much more. 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Dec. 31, Sheraton Center City, 101 W. Fayette St., bignightbaltimore.com, main event $99.99-$159+, VIP $169.99-$219+.
Charm City Countdown: Downtown. A New Year’s Eve party with various bars, food, a Monte Carlo casino, party favors for everyone, and four floors, each with a different theme. 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Dec. 31, 1840s Ballroom, 29 S. Front St., (410) 752-1624, charmcitycountdown.com, General $99-$125, VIP $139-$179.
Charm City Countdown: Uptown. A New Year’s Eve party with bars, food, entertainment, a Monte Carlo casino, and six different areas with separate themes. Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Dec. 31, Sheraton Baltimore North, 903 Dulaney Valley Road, Towson, charmcitycountdown.com, general $99-$125, VIP $139-$179.
Downtown Countdown. Booze it up before the bar drop with an open bar that runs from 9 p.m., to 1:30 a.m., Yellow Dubmarine, DJ Kopec, DJ Candy D, and Andrea Pais provide musical entertainment, while Kirk McEwen, The Leatherbury Twins, and Mike Quindlen bring the yucks in the comedy lounge. 8 p.m.-2 a.m., Dec. 31, Hyatt Regency, 300 Light St., (410) 528-1234, downtowncountdownbaltimore.missiontix.com, prices escalate as the event gets closer.
Drive-By Truckers. The popular Georgia band plays you into 2013 with its blend of alternative country and southern rock. Lee Fields and the Expressions open. 7 p.m., Dec. 31, 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW, Washington, D.C., (202) 265-0930, 930.com, $55.
Halestorm. Rock in the new year with siblings Arejay and Elizabeth “Lizzy” Hale and Joe Hottinger and Josh Smith. 9 p.m., Dec. 31, Baltimore Soundstage, 124 Market Place, 244-0057, baltimoresoundstage.com, $25, VIP $75.
Lotus. The instrumental electronic jam band brings the vibes for the last moments of 2012. 9 p.m., Dec. 31, Rams Head Live, 20 Market Place, (410) 244-1131,ramsheadlive.com, $42.50-$50.
Magooby’s New Year’s Eve Party. The comedy club’s party features Robert Kelly and Dan Soder, a DJ, dancing, a midnight toast, and food buffet. Packages including hotel accommodations, early dinner, and other options are available. 6 p.m.-2 a.m., Dec. 31, Magooby’s Joke House, 9603 Derreco Road, Timonium, (410) 252-2727, magoobys.com, prices vary.
New Year’s Eve Dance Party at the Depot. DJs Fun Billy, Doug, and Charlie are on the decks for this party, which includes free food and a free champagne toast. 9 p.m., Dec. 31, the Depot, 1728 N. Charles St., (410) 528-0174, thedepotbaltimore.com. free.
New Year’s Cruise. An hour-long dockside cocktail reception followed by a buffet dinner. A view of the fireworks and dancing will follow. 8:30 p.m.-1 a.m., Dec. 31, Baltimore Marine Center, 2738 Lighthouse Point East, (410) 238-0484, baltimorepaddlewheel.com, $140.
New Year’s Eve Party featuring The Return: Beatles Tribute. Spend New Year’s Eve jamming out to classic Beatles songs. 6:45 p.m., Dec. 31, Rams Head On Stage, 33 West St., Annapolis, (410) 268-4545, ramsheadtavern.com, $114.
The Roots. America’s favorite late-night backing band rings in 2013. 9 p.m., Dec. 31, the Fillmore Silver Spring, 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring, (301) 960-9999, fillmoresilverspring.com. $75.