My name is Jared A. Brock. Having just turned 35, I sat down to reflect on everything I’ve learned so far and made a list of the things I wish I learned far sooner. None of these are rules or commands for you to follow, just personal reflections from a decade of journaling. I hope they save you a lot of time, energy, and struggle:

1. “Save the best for last” is terrible advice.

A French monk taught me this one. Every morning, I put on the newest pair of socks in my drawer. Why wear the rattiest pair? When I sit down to eat, I eat the tastiest bits first. Why let them get cold? After every shower, I put on my favorite clean t-shirt. I have a great bottle of 10-year-old Laphroaig scotch in my cupboard, but I probably won’t drink it for months because I received two bottles of reactor-aged Lost Spirits single malt for Christmas.
Why? Because life is hard enough and we aren’t promised tomorrow. This doesn’t mean we should throw caution to the wind and “live in the moment” at all times, but it does mean we should try to find the golden middle and glean a little bit of pleasure from every day we’re blessed to live. “Save the best for last” is poverty-mentality thinking. It expects worse in the future. Enjoy the best right now — in your marriage, parenting, work, travel, faith, friendship, contribution. Keep all the chips on the table. Be ready at all times to leave without regret.

2. Tools use us.

A hammer literally cannot hit a nail without using a human. A saw cannot cut through a board without using a human. A phone cannot deliver ads without using a human.

3. Avoid false dichotomies.

When given two great options, choose both. When given two horrible options, choose neither.

4. Failure is overcome by one word.

“Next.”

5. Ambition is ruinous for your happiness.

Most goal-setters (myself included) live much of life in anticipation of tomorrow, and when that day arrives, they’re either disappointed by their failures or underwhelmed by their successes.
Instead: trust the process. Whiskey, pasta, bread, beer, and cereal all require just two ingredients — wheat and water — but the outcome is completely different based on the process. Identity precedes action. Determine what you want to be, then find the process that will get you there every single time.

6. Forget what the market wants.

Listen to your gut. Your body knows the difference between good and great. Someone said you should never record a song or code an app or write an article unless it makes you laugh, cry, or orgasm. If an idea doesn’t move you, it won’t move an audience, no matter how “commercial” you think it is.

7. Give yourself a shove.

The best way to eat more candy, drink more vodka, and smoke more cigarettes is to leave them in the middle of the kitchen counter.
You get it. Willpower is useless. Instead, line up a series of little nudges to automatically get you through your day. If you want to work out, leave your shorts by the door or your cleats in your fridge. My blue diode glasses rest on top of my laptop so I have to protect my eyes before logging online. I can’t not see my vitamins when I brush my teeth, or chia seeds when I reach for the Brita. There’s a book beside my bed, toilet, desk, and car’s gear shifter.
Line up enough nudges and you can shove yourself in the right direction.

8. Grandma didn’t use toilet paper.

She used pages from the Sears catalog. Splinter-free wasn’t available until 1935. The Romans used sponges. The Greeks used clay. Francois Rabelais recommended using “the neck of a goose.” Arabians used their left hand.
Never assume our extremely unique cultural moment is “normal.”

9. Ninety-nine isn’t enough.

Water boils at 100 degrees Celcius. The difference between 99 and 100 is the difference between zero and one. Not-boiling, boiling.
Corollary: 101 doesn’t make it any more boiling.

10. Old people know better.

Honoring our elders is one of the most underrated practices in our newness-obsessed society. Sure, there are a ton of old crazy far-right conspiracy theorists, but there are also good people who have survived four wars, six recessions, and twelve presidents and are somehow still smiling. Get to know them.
Also: meet your old-person self. I try to invent a new word every week — one of them is preflection. To ponder the present through the eyes of your future self. Take an hour in silence to listen to your eighty-year-old self. They might know something you don’t.

11. Fire all your employees.

The employer-employee relationship creates an unhealthy power dynamic between humans that simply didn’t exist when we worked cooperatively to feed our clan or village. I love my work life so much more now that I only work with independent entrepreneurs who are my equals. For me, it’s either a one-man show (my writing business), an equal partnership (my film company), or a co-operative endeavor. Life’s too short to be a boss or be bossed around.

12. Accept that you are a voracious locust of doom.

Nail a roll of paper to the wall and write down everything you consume for a year — food, toilet paper, electricity, car fuel, movies, music, social media content, other people’s time, everything. See what I mean?
Saint Augustine said that the human heart can only fully be satisfied by one thing aside from God himself: everything. All the sex, all the money, all the power, all the possessions, all the glory. All of it. Nothing short of everything could ever fully satiate the human heart. We are wired for more.
Understanding this truth is the first step toward real contentment.

13. Awkward is awesome.

My best friend says that The Office gave society a beautiful gift: the ability to embrace cringe. When you meet someone new and it’s slightly weird, pretend you’re Michael Scott. Just glory and bask in the discomfort.
You can awkward-proof your life by being bold: Ask for discounts. Ask for refunds. Ask for phone numbers. Ask for pay raises. Ask inappropriate questions at inappropriate times. Lather yourself in awkward and pretty soon nothing sticks.

14. Happiness isn’t the purpose of life.

Hitler really was following his bliss by offing millions of Jews. I’m sure Jeffrey Dahmer genuinely enjoyed the taste of human flesh. Bernie Madoff seemed content to bilk charities for decades.
Happiness isn’t the purpose of life. It’s not even in the top ten. Happiness is a seasonal fruit, not a foundational root. Find firm and fertile ground.

15. There is no ugly.

My grandpa re-proposed to my grandma on their fiftieth wedding anniversary and called her the most beautiful woman he’s ever known. Old wrinkly grandma? Yes. Because we choose our definition of beauty through our thoughts, disciplines, habits, and patterns, be they conscious or otherwise.

16. We are what we consume.

The statistical average American is a walking bodybag of sugar, alcohol, caffeine, porn, pills, and digital stimulus. Imagine how different life would be if our only inputs were nature, sleep, sunlight, organic food, and embodied human interaction?
Guard your inputs carefully.

17. We’re going to die quite soon.

Make sure you live first. Practicing memento mori will help.

18. Fame is poison.

One in four Gen Zers thinks they’ll be famous by age 25. One in 3.9999999 Gen Zers are going to have a miserably disappointing life.
Why do people desire the attention of strangers? Because we all need to love and be loved, to know and be known, but are too afraid to risk personal heartbreak to seek it out. Attention is not affection. Influence is not intimacy.

19. Boomers are to blame for half our troubles.

The Me Generation took a free ride at the planet’s expense and are hellbent on taking the rest of it with them. They’re statistically low on empathy — blame the lead, asbestos, and hairspray if you must — but at least acknowledge the reality that life is hard for everyone, and no one has it easier.

20. Children are dope.

Kids are the blood transfusion in our sick system. We need to stop manipulating, brainwashing, colonizing, and propagandizing them, and learn from them instead.

21. It doesn’t have to hurt.

Joy is a choice.

22. Watch comedy before calls and meetings.

Five minutes of gut-busting laughter will prime you for even the most tedious conference call. Your co-workers and customers all have tough lives like everybody else, so brighten their day by pre-brightening your own.

23. No ragrets.

Tattoo it on your neck. Most people play it far too safe. Instead: optimize your life for the least number of regrets and the most amount of selfless contribution.

24. There are better ways to vote.

I’ve manned several local voting stations, and I’ve also hob-nobbed with politicians in Canada, America, and the UK. The reality is that they don’t work for us. They work for their corporate sponsors and private interests.
Democracy isn’t dead. It just hasn’t happened yet, with all attempts to date being stillborn or aborted. Democracy = one voice one vote. Athens wasn’t a democracy — women, slaves, and tenants had zero say. America isn’t a democracy either — no representative system is, because it’s far too easy for private interests to buy politicians. The charade of voting is illusory. All elections are sham elections.
So what to do? Vote with your money and time and attention. One sham vote every four years versus tens of thousands of dollar-votes each year? It’s a no-brainer. My wife and I haven’t stepped foot in a Walmart in more than a decade because thousands of its suppliers are based in China, the billionaire heirs are anti-democratic tax-avoiders, and they treat their employees like indentured servants. Vote for pro-democracy third-party candidates if you must — just understand the game, and vote in the ways that actually matter.

25. Everything easy has already been done.

So run a little further.
And if it hasn’t been done, it won’t be as easy as it appears. The question to ask is: what’s been standing in the way this whole time? Achievement is all about knocking down obstacles. Just make sure what’s on the other side is rightly worth the effort.

26. Broccoli still tastes terrible.

But you’re not a child anymore. Adults do hard things.

27. Fixed-order scheduling > fixed-hour scheduling.

Discipline is great, but it’s also subject to the law of diminishing returns. Life is just too dynamic to schedule with military precision. Free yourself from the tyranny of “only people who wake up at 5 AM are successful.”
All hours are not created equal. It depends on your sleep drive and chronotype. Know yourself. Unapologetically get more sleep, then do your best work at your best time in your best state.

28. “Freedom” isn’t freedom.

America wasn’t founded on freedom. America was founded on violent autonomy.
The ancient Greeks had an entirely different definition of freedom: it was the ability to choose the right regardless of circumstance.

“We talk about freedom all the time, but we’ve stopped talking about freedom a long time ago. Now we’re talking about autonomy. Freedom is different than autonomy. Freedom has boundaries. Truth is one of those boundaries. And morality is one of those boundaries. Autonomy is the ability to do whatever you want whenever you want in whatever way you want. The problem is this: If I’m autonomous and another person is autonomous, and I have preferences and those matter more than the truth, and that person has preferences and their preferences matter more than the truth, when two autonomous preference-seeking beings come together and their preferences don’t match, who is going to win? If truth is on the bottom shelf, truth won’t decide. What will decide will be power. And isn’t it ironic that in our quest for “freedom”, someone gets enslaved?” — Abdu Murray

29. The Marines were right: slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

As teenagers, my friend Tyler and I were in a hurry to get somewhere quickly so we drove 120+ miles per hour for forty-five straight minutes before nearly crashing when the speed burned a footlong gash through the tire. By the time we replaced it with a spare, we were late to our destination by more than an hour.
But nevermind driving. Pump the life-brakes sometimes, or at least, let off the gas. You might get there faster, with less wear-and-tear on the engine.

30. The quest for wealth is destroying life.

We’ve commodified land, water, shelter, clothing, art, time, and nearly everything else. Very little remains, and it’s amassing into fewer hands.
We need a shared global vision. My invented word for it is benevitae: the sustainable flourishing of all creation. Our collective goal should be socioenviroeconomic sustainability. Where to start? We’d do well to let biology determine ecological sustainability and real democracy to determine economic fairness. Our current trajectory is worse than the Space Shuttle Challenger.

31. Most “leaders” aren’t leaders.

Celebrities, politicians, and book-hocking business gurus all call themselves leaders. They’re not.
Real leadership is influence that serves. True leaders are selfless and servant-hearted. They put the best interests of others ahead of their own. Politics and media, by comparison, attracts sociopaths like flies to firelight. Never give power to those who seek it. Nearly everyone worth following is dead.

32. Divide-and-conquer is a business model.

Near the end of high school, dozen friends and I binge-watched multiple seasons of LOST in our friend Mike’s basement. It was one of the most hilarious, riotous, enjoyable experiences we had as a group.
And it was the last show we ever watched together.
People used to go to restaurants in large numbers, to the movies by the dozen, climbing over each other for one of the limited video game controllers, packing out our churches, cheering on our sports teams by the busload. We were almost never alone, and we were far happier. Now we order in, watch Netflix, stream Minecraft, catch the highlights, watch porn, and go to bed. It’s killing us.
Resist the urge to be alone. It’s too easy, and it’s the exact opposite of what we really need. The #1 thing that’s correlated to human happiness is human togetherness.

33. Self-improvement won’t save us.

The great lie of individualist-consumerist culture is that we can improve our way to personal perfection and communal utopia. But it’s incrementalism at best.
It’s just chasing infinity.

34. We know nothing +/-.

On the scale of all that is known, and all that is knowable, our individual understanding is essentially mathematically zero. The entirety of human knowledge is a rounding error.
This is the beginning of humility.

35. The sun is not on fire

I was at an observatory in the Davis Mountains in Texas, and it was the first time I’d paid attention to astronomy since grade school. For three decades, I’d wrongly assumed the sun was a giant ball of flames.
But there’s no fire in space because there’s no oxygen in space. (It just looks like fire because of how our eyes perceive light through the atmosphere and prism.) As I stared at the real-time image of the sun on the observatory wall, I nearly wept. The sun actually looks like a giant, boiling, grey brain.
And then it hit me: I have so many assumptions to set aside and so much left to learn. So pay attention. Don’t worship the “question everything” mantra, but instead spend your life seeking truth, and wisdom, and understanding.
You know what you need to do to get where you want to be.

TL;DR I built an online course and got over $6k in pre-orders in 5 days. But my journey started 8 months ago when I started writing and sharing value consistently.
—
At the beginning of 2021, I had set a goal to find out one way to monetize my blog. The purpose of the goal is to have fun and learn something new. The money is a nice by-product of doing it right.
31 days into 2021, I can safely say that I checked off that goal.
Learn Programmatic SEO, my first online course, generated $6,622 in pre-orders in just 5 days.
(Gumroad sales dashboard screenshot)
Now I'm going to tell you everything, from the very beginning, so strap in.

The story begins 8 months ago

Honestly, the last thing I want someone to takeaway from this post is that I just put a course out into the world and made money.
No, it’s not that straightforward lol. If it were, everyone would have done just that, right?
The good news is, you can do it too.
But you need to do 3 things for a duration of time before it can work for you.

1. Find your target audience

Defining an audience and finding them online is a tough job. I cannot codify it exactly for you, but I can tell you who my target audience is and how I arrived at that.
Who is my target audience?
People who are building an online business, and also wanting to live a good life.
How did I arrive at this?
This is me! I’m building an online business! I wanted to read less thought pieces and high-level analysis of some billion dollar company’s strategy, and more of things that work for a small business like mine.
I was already active on the Indiehackers forum where people would share stories about their successes or failures and their learnings from it. So I knew that people did want read such stories.
The direction became clear - Let’s talk more about how someone can go from $0 to $1000, from $1000 to $5000, and so on!
At the same time, my identity is not limited to ‘founder’ or ‘someone who builds a business’. My blog is a creative release for my mind. It’s my canvas and my words are paint. I didn’t want it to feel like work.
I like living a good life, improving upon my mind and body, learning about new and interesting things. Turns out, many other people in the pursuit of building their own business felt the same way.
So it was decided, my blog was going to be about all of these topics!

2. Add value to their lives

Almost every tweet or blog post of mine is always about providing value to my target audience.
How do I come up with topic ideas that can add value?
I write about ideas, problems or learnings that I

• encountered myself in my life or business.
• discussed at length with someone from my team or with a friend or a random kind stranger on Twitter.
• saw others talk about it, could relate to it and therefore wanted to share my perspective.

You’re going to say “really, that’s it?” but really, that’s it.
The best topic ideas come from real world experiences. So get doing!

• Work on interesting stuff, you’ll face problems.
• Talk to people about their lives or business, you’ll learn about their problems.
• Think deeply about problem statements or ideas, you’ll probably have a perspective to share.

Here’s a live example in action.
It’s this very blog post that you’re reading. I launched an online course and now I’m writing about it.
With this framework, you will practically never run out of ideas.

3. Be consistent

Now that you know who you’re writing or creating content for, and what content you’ll be creating, there's really only one thing left.
Similar to my 3 pillars for building a successful business theory, when you have a real problem and a way to acquire customers, the third element is hustle.
From the POV of a content creator, hustle = consistently producing new and valuable content for your readers.
Here’s a small secret.
Before I got consistent with my blog, I was struggling with consistency and putting out content for nearly 4 years.
Until 2016, I used to write almost every day, and then I stopped and couldn’t get back to it until 2020.
I have been a member of Twitter since 2011, but the first time I started posting seriously was in April 2019.
Since June 2020 is when I got consistent. I’ve been blogging and tweeting ever since, and I’ve missed only one weekend.

Here’s how I built my consistency

Consistency is hard to build, but the great part is once you've gathered some momentum, the inertia will continue carrying you forward.
I can't NOT write on weekends anymore. It's just what I do, similar to how I exercise first thing in the morning or work on DelightChat during the weekdays.
To everyone who has asked me on how they can build consistency and write or create content regularly, I share the same advice. This is the first time I'm blogging about it.

1. Start small

I cannot emphasise on this enough. No matter what you do in life, whether it’s starting a new habit or creating a new blog or building a new business, start small.
How small? As small as it needs to be for you to be consistent.
When Sankalp and I started SuperLemon, we intentionally tried to build a small business. Our revenue goal was $3k MRR (ramen profitability!).
When I started writing on this blog, my goal was to publish everyday no matter how few words I wrote. On some days I wrote 500 words, on other days I wrote 100. But after 25 days of publishing daily, my mind got into a habit of writing and hitting publish.
It’s another matter that I switched to a weekly schedule. Here’s the rationale behind it - I can’t produce high-quality stuff daily.
Moving to a weekly schedule allowed new post ideas to germinate in my mind before I would vomit them out into my notes app and edit it for your reading pleasure.

2. Know your WHY

For anyone to work on something day in day out, it’s impossible to do so without an internal drive. External motivations can only drive you so much.
Therefore, it’s really important to figure out your intrinsic motivations before starting a long-term or high-effort project.
In my case, I had 2 strong why’s.

1. I knew clearly that 10 years from now I want to see my brain on the internet, in the form of blog posts, videos, audio or whatever medium works best.
2. I also knew that the way I can make the world a better place is by helping more people achieve financial freedom, making them free to focus on creative pursuits and outcomes that give them happiness and satisfaction. It’s what I’m doing with my own life.

And so I visualised the future.‍

“What would my blog look like in 1 year from now? It would have 52 posts, hopefully read by thousands, and hopefully impacted at least a dozen entrepreneurs trying to make progress.”

3. Build accountability

It’s really hard to gain consistency and momentum. Almost all of the hard bit is concentrated in the beginning of the journey. That’s where everyone needs most help.
In my case, when I started writing on this blog, my girlfriend Mausumi would ask me everyday if I had written. And if not, she would force me to stop whatever I was doing and go write. Write gibberish, but write.
And so, on the days I really didn’t feel like writing, I got the push needed to get off my ass and do what I really truly enjoyed - writing.
It’s not possible for Mausumi to always be on my ass (I wouldn’t want her to be), so that’s when I decided to launch my newsletter Sunday Coffee ☕️.
My goal with the newsletter - Build an external accountability system.
The day it was announced, my newsletter got 100 subscribers.
Now I was accountable to 100 people who I promised weekly updates on what’s happening with my life and business, and new learnings the form of blog posts or tweets.
Sunday Coffee has evolved into my little corner on the internet. I LOVE writing the update. It feels like a weekly checkpoint in my life. And I believe that readers get the same feeling while reading the newsletter.
I am grateful to them for their time 🙏

Fast forward to the present

“Alright Preetam, enough with the flashback. Tell me what you did last week.”

On January 19th, Webflow published my blog post about how we used programmatic SEO and Webflow to grow DelightChat’s search traffic from 600 to 240,000 monthly impressions.
Initially, there was no traffic spurt. But then Webflow featured the post in their newsletter and shared it on their social media channels.
Boom 💥
Dozens of emails, Twitter DMs and LinkedIn messages started pouring in saying they read the blog and would love to learn more.
Some wanted me to consult with them, which I politely declined (because DelightChat is my baby).
One Ecommerce company that signed up on DelightChat’s waitlist actually wanted to talk about programmatic SEO 😂
I ended up giving them a free demo of course, because providing value is what I do best 😉
They too wanted me to work as a consultant for their 12+ Ecommerce brands. Obviously I declined. But it got me thinking.

“A lot of people want to learn about this. I can’t work as a consultant. Maybe I should record myself talking about this and share it as an online course.”

Note: I’ve given out all my content for free, and I will continue doing that. While charging money seemed lucrative, I also didn’t want anyone who actually needs this to be barred from accessing it. Hence the course is free for students and Indiehackers with <$100 revenue. Just drop me an email, no questions asked!
Here’s what I did next

• Wrote a tweet thread to announce the course - 5 minutes
• Created this page on my blog to talk about the course (I also wrote the course outline there) - 20 minutes
• Setup my Gumroad account correctly and create the course page - 10 minutes
• Hit publish everywhere.

Honestly, my expectation was nothing.
Okay, not nothing. I thought it would be GREAT if my course made me $1000 in 30 days. It would give me a nice dopamine boost to write on my blog every weekend, and that’s it.
What happened next will shock you
(sorry about the Buzzfeed title, I couldn’t resist haha)
Here’s really what happened next.

• 6 pre-orders within 30 minutes (🤯)
• 53 pre-orders, $1073 sales in 6 hours (🤯🤯🤯)
• 144 pre-orders, $3016 sales in 24 hours (🧘‍♂️)

Haha, it was more 🤯 but times x100.

Here's everything I did after launching the course

In an ideal world, I would have been promoting the course consistently with new content on Twitter following-up to then launch. However, we were having an intense work week at DelightChat so majority of my mind, energy and time was focused there.
However, behind the scenes, I did do several ad-hoc marketing stuff whenever I would get free for 5-10 minutes during the day in order to promote my course.

1. A personal reply to every person asking for free access

Whenever a student or Indiehacker would email me asking for free access, I would reply with this templated response. I would edit the template and add a sentence about their business or goal.
Here’s the template: (link to screenshot)
That tiny favour got me dozens of retweets. So every time I gave out the course for free, I would get more sales. Win-win!
Takeaways:

1. ‍‍You can make money while giving your stuff out for free.
2. Do things that don’t scale.

2. Announced the course to my newsletter subscribers

I’ve been writing Sunday Coffee, my weekly newsletter, for 32 weeks straight.
Because I never tried to ‘grow’ my newsletter, all the subscribers came in organically. As a result, my newsletter open rates are consistently >50%.
For the first time in 32 weeks, I sent my subscribers an email outside of Sunday.
(newsletter subscribers screenshot)
I had 564 subscribers at the time, and many were interested in the course. It was also great to read replies from subscribers and hear from them.
This post that you’re reading will be shared in the 33rd edition.
Takeaway - A captive audience is far more valuable than focusing on big numbers.

3. Asked people for a favour

I’m very apprehensive of asking people to “share this” or “do that” for me. In general, I never do it.
But that became the exact reason why I had to at least try.
Because as it turns out, you miss 100% off the shots you don’t take.
Here’s the shot I took with Hiten Shah (and a few others). It worked and he retweeted the course.
(screenshot of message to Hiten Shah)
Important note: Don’t do this unless you’ve established credibility with someone. They are most likely to ignore you. That definitely happened with a few of the people I sent this DM to.
I sent roughly 10 DMs before deciding against doing more. Putting out content felt like the right thing to do.
But hey! It works if you do it right. And I’m sharing transparently here, so 👁👄👁
Takeaway - Be okay with doing uncomfortable stuff and asking people for help.

4. Share snippets from the course

Once I got around the creating the course content (remember this was a pre-order launch?), I started sharing snippets from the course on Twitter.
One of those snippet tweets really took off and has brought me more sales, like $500 in the next 12 hours.
Takeaway - Share snippets that are basically juicy bits from the info product you’re selling, with the aim of informing people what they can expect to learn. That way, someone seeking that exact value would be interested in the product.

That’s it. That’s the post.

Now you know everything! So, what should be your takeaways?

1. If you’re thinking of becoming a content creator, start today. Just do it. The first section of how I started 8 months ago is most relevant to you.
2. If you’ve been creating content since a while and see steady engagement from a tight knit community, then I urge you to experiment with creating info products. The best ideas will come from the loudest questions asked by your community. So ask yourself, “what do people who read my content ask me for help with?” Go help them.

—
Originally published here

Edited to remove the tables because when I obsessively checked this post on my phone I couldn't read them?? Also I tried to, but was prevented from, editing the title. I know it looks sanctimonious but that's just one small part of my personality I swear. D:
❤️ Section 1: Assets and Debt
Total Net Worth: $30,875 - all equity.
Retirement Balance: $0 for me; $20,500 for my husband in the state pension program for teachers. (My partner, L, has been paying into the state teachers' pension system for 5 years. For most of my 20s, I either worked at very low-paying jobs, or supported myself and others on a teacher’s salary, so no retirement for me. My current job does not have a retirement program, but one of my goals for this year is to either start a Roth IRA or get a new job with a 401k match… or maybe both?)
Savings Account Balance: $23,733 We’re moving this summer to a city closer to our families, and are saving all we can for a down payment on a dreamy spot. After we move, some amount of what’s left over will go into a retirement fund, and the rest will stay in this HYSA as our emergency fund. For us, three months of expenses, including childcare, is about $18,000.
Checking Account Balance: $455
Credit Card Debt: n/a, pay off each month
Student Loan Debt: $80,000 for L’s undergrad and MAT. $18,000 for my undergrad and (unfinished) MAT. (My undergrad degrees were mostly covered by the Pell Grant, scholarships, and a $10,000 529 from my parents. L was a nontraditional student - didn’t start undergrad until he was 24 - so none of his was covered. Most of my debt is for a MAT program I dropped out of after one year. I was trying to find any way out of teaching at the time (it is demanding, all-consuming, and carceral at once) and thought a PhD would be my only route. When I got my current job I promptly left the program and any dreams of a PhD behind.)
Equity: $83,875 (This number is from an online equity calculator, and is for our house in a very popular neighborhood in a very popular city. Our outstanding debt on the house is $295,000. We put our whole savings down in 2019, which was $9,000 at the time.)
❤️ Section 2: Income
Monthly Take Home: My base pay is $65,000, and L’s is $45,000. I worked a side gig last year that totaled about $10k in additional compensation; all of it went to savings so we don't budget for it. My take home is $4096/month for my full time job, and my current side gig income (grant writing) is variable, between $300 and $600 a month. L’s take home is $2262/month. My health insurance is paid in full by work. L’s insurance and B’s come out of L’s paycheck, as does L’s retirement contribution.
Income Progression: I’ve been working since I was 15 years old, moved out for college at 18, and paid my own bills starting that year. I won’t include that money here though (it was like $12,000 a year as a college student, for reference). Income below starts when I graduated with two BAs that had nothing to do with teaching.
Year 1: $15,600 (part time ABA therapist, full time baby anarchist)
Year 2: $32,000 (year 1 teacher salary: I accepted a spot in Teach for America for this giant salary even though I thought it was an obnoxious neoliberal org. Yes, I was also obnoxious at the time.)
Year 3: $33,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 4: $34,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 5: $35,000 (teacher, step increase)
Year 6: $15,000 (community organizer; at the time this felt like a dream job)
Year 7: $20,000 (community organizer & cafe worker)
Year 8: $40,000 (back to teaching, felt rich; this includes a side hustle writing grants on the side for $50 an hour)
Year 9: $45,000 (left teaching for my current job, quit the grants side hustle)
Year 10: $55,000 (got a raise, got pregnant)
Year 11: $65,000 (got a raise and promotion, had a baby)
Year 12: $75,000 (was promoted again in January but waiting on the pay increase to hit, hopefully with backdating. This money diary doesn’t reflect this salary as it hasn’t been reflected in my check yet)
❤️ Section 3: Expenses
Mortgage/PMI/Insurance: $2,110
Retirement Contribution: n/a (L’s retirement is pulled out of his check before he receives it: it’s $169 a month. Right now, I don’t have a retirement contribution)
Savings Contribution: $1000 to main savings, $400 to sinking fund (This is a super aggressive goal for us and is only possible because our childcare costs are covered by work)
Debt Payments: n/a right now (We have student loans to the tune of $100k but haven’t been paying a dime since they were paused due to COVID. But then the other day I checked and saw they've gained interest? Should we be paying them then? WWJD? I legit don’t know.)
Electric: $130
Internet: $100
Cellphone: $65 (For L & I both. We are on a bigass family plan with 40 gajillion other people.)
Subscriptions: $45 ($10 Spotify; $10 Youtube music; $2.99 Apple data (Why?!); $22 NYT (for newspaper and cooking app); also have a split subscription to the New Yorker with bestie F but we paid for a yearly deal.)
Car Payment and Insurance: $150 for a car payment; $202 for insurance (Insurance covers both of our used cars and my dad’s used handicap van. Our car payment is for our used Honda. We only owe $6,850 on the car and I’m back and forth on whether to pay it off with savings)
Medical/Therapy: $0 (My therapist is $140 a session, and I just started seeing her again once a month, but this is reimbursed by work. I also get an inhaler at least twice a month - that’s reimbursed too, costs $60 total.)
Misfits Market: $120 (For a weekly box, which really helps us cut down on overall grocery cost)
Gym membership: $30 (For my intense local yoga studio’s app which is so great in the winter. We also run and bike a lot, as long as it’s warm enough)
Donations: $100 (We give monthly to our local Democratic Socialists of America; the Working Families Party; and a small, local org. I’m also on an organizing committee for that org. We’ll give them one big gift of at least $250 this year, probably in May. I support a couple organizations with grant writing and grant-finding support as much as I can, which usually amounts to a few hours a month.)
Childcare: $0 B goes to a very precious Montessori preschool, and we can walk him there. It’s pricey af ($1300/month). The other $200 is to account for some babysitting from my little sister when L or I have to work weird hours. For now, work reimburses this full amount as a COVID perk; if that changes, we will have to cut costs significantly.
House cleaner: $160 (They come twice a month and charge $80 each time.)
❤️ Section 4: Money Diary
NOTE: We are masked and afraid everywhere we go.
✨DAY 1: THURSDAY✨
4:20 am: Good morning world! I shuffle into the kitchen in my panties and my slippers to fill up the gooseneck kettle. I recently got into pour over coffee even though it’s quite a commitment. With a toddler, a full-time job, and a Libra sun, I don’t really have time for meditative morning routines. This lengthy, half-naked coffee regimen is my closest attempt. As soon as I get the coffee brewing, our 18 month old, B, starts making noise. I open the door and see he’s got his pacifier in his mouth and his pillow in his arms. He wants to lay with Dada. I help him get in the bed with my husband, L, as quietly as possible. Last week L was super sick and we thought for sure he had picked up COVID. Blessedly all of our tests came back negative, but on the heels of that, he started having major tooth pain and had to have an emergency tooth extraction, AND he got an ear infection as he was coming down from whatever virus he had. I hate it :(
I get dressed and do some chores while they snooze to ease L's morning. I start the diaper laundry (usually his job - we use cloth), put away the dishes, start the Eufy vacuum, and get B and L’s breakfasts together: sunbutter and a little bit of syrup on some banana pancakes I prepped earlier this week.
6:30 am: B and L are up! The hour before we take B to preschool is kind of a marathon. L eats with B (and supervises his syrup consumption) as I clean out some more dirty diapers, brush my teeth, make another cup of coffee, strip our sheets, spray my hair with water to refresh the curl, return a few group texts, and wash some breakfast dishes. Somewhere in here I also eat two boiled eggs with Everything But the Bagel seasoning, and a bunch of grapes.
I help L get B loaded up in the car, and just as they pull off, my parents Facetime me. They’re calling to see B but are polite enough to talk to me for a few minutes. They live a few hours away, and are divorced, but cohabitating. The full story is long and spiritual for me so I’ll spare you. Anyway, my mom and I talk for a while about this couch she thinks I should buy from one of her friends, but it’s two hours away and we’d have to rent a U-Haul, so I think we’ll pass. I do hate our current couch though. Please drop comfy toddler- and dog-friendly recommendations in the comments!
8:15 am: I set out to walk the dog and listen to the Daily’s recent update on the coronavirus. Donald G. McNeill, Jr., says we’re in this through the summer, which is a bummer on the personal and global front, but I suppose it could be worse??? Maybe?? As soon as they finish talking I switch over to You’re Wrong About. I’m deep in the Jessica Simpson series and highly recommend this pod for any other nerdy, lefty, kinda burnt out millennials, especially those of you that are queer or queer-adjacent. Once home, I take my whole operation onto the front porch to work, since the cleaner will be here soon and I don’t want to crowd her in this time of COVID. I LOVE a clean house and I love paying someone else to do the big stuff, which is a recent luxury for us.
11:00 am: I’ve been working steadily in my email and google docs for a couple hours now, and it’s COLD out here. The cleaner leaves and I am grateful to go back into the heat. I Venmo her $80 for the cleaning (included in monthly expenses). I take a break from work and check out the job boards. My current job is the best, and highest-paying, gig I’ve ever had, but I’m planning to leave some time this year for several reasons. The premier reason: I recently learned that I’m qualified for several positions that pay over $100k at similar organizations. With that kind of money we could pay off our student loans, help our families out more, make sizable donations, and L could explore a career outside of teaching without freaking about a slight cut in his pay for a few years as he finds his niche. Or - maybe he’ll get into Edtech somehow and we’ll join Resource Generation. Who knows.
12:30 pm: I have a quick break and pull together lunch: half a cheese quesadilla, a big bowl of Smitten Kitchen’s roasted tomato soup, and a LimonCello LaCroix. L is on his planning period and asks me to edit his most recent job application, and I oblige. Since we’re both job hunting, I ask him if I can buy a resume template and guide on Etsy. I have sworn off online shopping for the year to curb my impulse spending, but he says we’ll just count this one as his purchase. Great news because I hate the formatting of my resume from 2016 and don’t want to fix it myself! $9.95
3:30 pm: My Zooms are over, my inbox is at 0, and I put up my out of office message because I’m taking the day off tomorrow to work on my resume and do some things to prep our house for sale. My high-functioning anxiety created an ambitious backwards timeline for this process back in December, and that timeline currently runs my life. I work for a few more minutes to tie up loose ends, and then walk O to a nearby shop to buy my favorite candle, curbside-style. When I get there the owner gives me some percentage off because it’s slightly discolored from the sun. Huzzah! $27.25, marked down from $40
4:45 pm: My angel of a baby sister, J, who lives just a few blocks away and is in a pod with us, comes to hang out with B for an hour so L can rest. I head to my good friend D’s place for my investment overalls appointment. She's going to alter their awkward wide leg into more of a tapered, mom jean shape. I have a capsule wardrobe which means I’ll wear these babies at least once a week, and plus I get to pay my friend, so I’m fine with the extra expense. When I arrive, she and her partner have the fire pit going, and we drink a couple glasses of wine together, yet more than 6 feet apart. I learn they are planning to move to the same new city as us in the next couple of years and legit cry happy tears.
Afterwards, I head out to pick up dinner for tonight. We are getting burgers from L’s favorite place as a treat. On my way, the WOLF MOON appears over the water and my stomach does triple flips. Then I pick up our dinner: a veggie burger with eggplant jam and kale for me; a real-meat burger with mushrooms, bacon, swiss, carmelized onion, and horseradish mayo for L; and an appetizer plate with pretzels, pimento cheese, onion jam, pickles, and chips for B. Delicious and unhealthy. The total is $34.54.
6:30: Home and eating dinner. B loves his meal, especially the “chokes.” He calls pretzels “chokes” because when L first started feeding them to him, I worried aloud that he would choke every time. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how a pretzel almost took out George W. Bush. Turns out our toddler is better at chewing than George W. Bush.
After dinner, L gives B a bubble bath while I do my own, very minimal, bedtime routine. Then L and I lay down with B to put him to sleep. He has a floor bed, which is a Montessori thing I learned about on mom blogs. L is a very hot and talented woodworker, so he took my floor bed dream to the next level by building a lovely house-shaped frame. The top beam is wrapped in twinkle lights and fake ivy. It’s a nice place to sleep, and we pass out here all the time.
10:30 pm: L wakes me up and we wander to our own bed.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 71.74
✨ DAY 2: FRIDAY✨
4:15 am: Wake up and go look at the clock. Decide this is a silly time to get up on a day off, drink some water, and go lay back down. But once in bed all I can think about is how much I want to read the news, organize my resume, and update this money diary. This is the problem with falling asleep at toddler time. So I get up again at 4:45, make my coffee, read a New Yorker article about Biden’s pandemic response on my phone, and sit down to work on this diary.
6:00 am: L wakes up! He works on breakfast for himself and B and I start meal planning for the month. This is one of my best and most recent life hacks. I found that if I chart out our cooking, weekly takeout, and leftovers at the start of the month, we save lots of money and are so much less stressed about the labor that goes into feeding ourselves. I pull out Smitten Kitchen Every Day and use it to inspire the month’s meals. So quaint to cook from an actual BOOK.
6:45 am: B walks out of our room and announces that he drank my water off the side table. He’s so proud! And so ready to eat. While he eats breakfast, I snack on some grapes and, at B’s request, blast 7 Days A Week by They Might Be Giants. This is the consummate children’s song for any household that dreams of a self-determined world. Over the next hour I take B to school; make myself a real breakfast (a soy chorizo and egg taco); and browse TikTok. Eventually I find a series about this Gamestop situation by a smart Irish woman and L and I watch it together. When it’s over we feel like shrewd stock brokers ready to win money, and L gets to work teaching virtually.
I spend the morning painting our front door and our kitchen wall to prep our house to sell, and talking to my (other) little sister on the phone. She’s an HR person with a job that’s taken her far away from our family, and we don’t talk that often. It is so good to catch up on her life. After that I have a fun, day-off Zoom call with longtime bestie and coworker K. We drink coffee and talk about The Future.
12:30 pm: I make lunch (tomato soup with goat cheese on top, and a savory scone on the side) and get a text from another bestie, M, who offers me a little grant writing contract work this week. Yay! I love them and love working with them. Next, I order our groceries for the week. I get baking powder, eggs, cremini mushrooms, vegan sausage patties, oat milk, ginger root, shredded cheddar cheese, plantains, black beans, doggy bags, broccoli, vegan chicken strips, artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, capers, ciabatta bread, grits, bananas, avocados, greek yogurt, and on impulse, a pineapple on sale (?!). Maybe B will love it. The total comes to $94.08.
1:15 pm: I do a brief power vinyasa class in B’s room and take a shower. It takes me approximately two Drake songs to shower and dry off, as I don’t have to wash my hair today and I never shave. I work on my resume until L and I leave to pick up B. On the way home we stop at the park to play, and then we all get in the car to pick up groceries.
6:30 pm: We get home later than planned and eat together: leftover tofu ramen for us and veggie lasagna for B, who is so sleepy that he hardly touches his lasagna. L gets him in the bath around 7:15 and I run through my evening routine. There’s a lot going on in the house - preschool lunch and clothes to put up, a mountain of laundry in our room, all of the groceries for the week waiting to be put away, and dinner dishes are languishing in the sink. L starts on chores while I get B dressed.
As I’m dressing B, my mom Facetimes and B shows her several of his board books. While we’re talking my dad texts me a heart emoji - he overheard B and my mom talking from his room. He lives with a disability and a painful illness, so he goes to bed very early. We hang up with my mom and record a video of B making “P” sounds and saying “I love you” to my dad, and send it over. This is the first time B’s ever said “I love you!” Huge news. We read books and fall asleep next to B.
9 pm: I wake up and nudge L but he wants to keep sleeping. I go clean the dinner dishes, put away the food and reorganize the cabinets and fridge, and mop the kitchen floor while I listen to The Daily’s latest reporting on QAnon believers who are at once totally bananagrams and also remind me very much of my aunt. L wakes up at 9:30 because he and Y, my sister’s boyfriend, are gonna game. Cute! He finishes the laundry and I fold a few diapers to help out. Then we lay in bed together until game time, when I fall asleep.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 94.08
✨DAY 3: SATURDAY✨
5:40 am: Wake up at a ~*~weekend hour~*~!! Start my kettle, clean and moisturize my face, pull out the ingredients for waffles, and pick up around the house while I wait for it to boil. I try to read some, but get bored a few pages in. I’m currently reading How to Do Nothing and it’s good enough, but I think I need to chill on the nonfiction and read, like, saucy romance novels with hot bisexual leads. Send me your recs please!
Waffle time! This recipe is my go-to. I recommend whipping the egg whites first. B wakes up around 7:15 and helps me cook which is cute and very messy. He eats his waffle with honey, peanut butter, and grapes. L wakes up after him - he had a late night gaming!
8 am: I open yesterday’s mail and find an anti-abortion DVD from L’s grandma. It’s Abby Johnson’s “memoir.” Abby Johnson is an opportunistic right winger and documented liar who once moonlighted as a Planned Parenthood clinic manager. L is a preacher’s kid, so we’re not surprised to receive this from his grandma. For example: 10 years ago, when L and I were a couple years into our relationship, her Christmas gift to me was a book about how one can recover from being a slut by getting married and finding Jesus. This particular package really sends me over the edge, though. I decide to write them a short note later that states my own experience with abortion and sets a clear boundary on this kind of propaganda, and includes an article about Abby Johnson’s bullshit life. It’s unlikely this will change their minds - they are septuagenarian Southern Baptists, after all - but at least I’ll be in my integrity.
In the meantime, I group text L’s siblings, and they commiserate with us. His one sibling who is transitioning shares that grandma recently sent them a book about how to tell your gay friends they’re sinning. We agree that’s hilariously dense (and fucking rude) of her, and talk about how everyone under forty is a gay slut living their best life, so really it’s grandma’s loss. During this time I clean the kitchen, finish the waffles, and freeze them for B’s weekday breakfasts.
9:30 am: B asks to use the potty and does a great job peeing on his own! He’s geeked about it and is especially excited to have my parents on Facetime cheering him on. After that we head out on our morning walk. L takes B to the playground and I take O to the dog park nearby. She gets tired pretty quick and we all head to the thrift store. We need chairs for our hand-me-down kitchen table. The ones that came with it are awkwardly wide. L spots two sturdy ones that are just $5 each. Score! $10
11:30 am: B and L are both wiped out once we get home. They eat lunch and go to sleep. I clean up the kitchen, repot one of my plants, water our porch plants, and eat some leftover ramen for lunch. The Marie Antoinette episode of You’re Wrong About keeps me company all the while. 10/10 would recommend.
2 pm: B wakes up and eats some lunch. We watercolor together for a while (he on his big paper, I in my bullet journal), then walk down the street to the local high school while L preps potatoes for our fondue. The high school grounds are open on the weekends, and there’s an amphitheatre on site. B loves the echo in there.
4:30 pm: L joins us in the amphitheatre and together we drag B two blocks back home. I prep the fondue: brie, gouda, and more gouda with white wine. It ends up being a little clumpy but so delicious. My sister, J, and her boyfriend, Y arrive while I’m cooking. Y brings yummy baguettes from his bakery job for the dipping and we prep broccoli, green beans, and tempeh too. We sit down in our new chairs to eat and for the zillionth time I am so thankful we’ve been able to make a pod together this year. Fondue would be a terrifying proposition with anyone else, really.
While we eat, Y tells us he put in his two weeks at the bakery because their COVID protocols aren’t so tight and his coworkers are continuing to go to bars and out to eat. His plan for now is to get back on unemployment and find a virtual job sometime soon. Both he and my sister have worked food service their whole adult lives so the pandemic has been tough on them. Besides the fact that they’re delightful and perfect, this is one key reason we’re planning to move with them to our new city this summer: L and I will be able to easily afford the majority of the rent, deposits, and utilities on a pretty big, and centrally located, house. Living together will allow us to grow our savings and take our time looking for a Forever Home, and will allow J and Y to pay really low rent as my sister goes back to school full time and Y looks for a full-time job. I’m really looking forward to living with them and know it’ll be good for B, too. They leave around 7 pm and we put B to bed, this time without falling asleep ourselves!
8:30 pm: Turn on How I Met Your Mother in bed and the episodes are baaaaad bad. One entire episode casts sex workers as a punch line. Ick. L and I agree to find a new show, and fall asleep around 10.
11 pm - 2 am: B is up and between our two beds. Wahhhh.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 10
✨DAY 4: SUNDAY✨
6 am: Up and at ‘em! Discover I’m out of my fancy coffee and don’t want to emphasize the flavor of our grocery store beans with a slow pour, so make a french press instead. B wakes up too early so we watch toddlers together on TikTok while I drink my coffee, then read books while L makes us all eggs for breakfast. We head out for our morning walk around 9 am and stop at a coffee shop a few blocks away. I pick up Counter Culture’s Iridescent beans, buy an espresso brownie on a whim, and tip the cashier because she’s so sweet and tipping is good. The total is 23.03. L takes B to the playground and I drop my purchases and O back at the house before I head out for a run.
9:45 am: It’s 65 degrees and my run is glorious. I run to the water and pause Lil Yachty for a minute to take it all in. Once home I shower and put on a black LA Apparel catsuit and a marled black and white cocoon sweater from AA of the past (I like what I like!). We feed B lunch and then L puts him down while I clean up.
Around 11:30, J comes over after to watch B while we remove the storm windows from our whole house and clean the windows underneath as part of our work to prep the house for sale. We’re a solid team: L removes the storm windows and caulks all the gaps in the wood while I follow behind him and wash the windows inside and out. Our sweet neighbor catches us cleaning and offers to let us use her power washer for free next weekend to clean up the front of the house. I resolve to bake them some cookies.
2:30 pm: We are done with the window operation and it’s time for me to water all 57 plants in the house. Along the way, discover that I overwatered B’s hoya last week and it’s rotting. Noooo! I unpot it on the porch to dry the roots, but it’s raining so this might not work. There’s only one surefire solution: buy a replacement plant! I try to convince L we should go to the nursery, but he’s not so into it. I walk around dejectedly with a towel to clean up all the water I spilled, and Zelle J $70 for babysitting even though she insists she would do it for free. Next B, L, and I share a snack: crackers with goat cheese and harissa. Mmm. B skips the harissa but loves the goat cheese. Meanwhile I begin to stress about making dinner. We’d planned goddess bowls but L and I just aren’t feeling it after our marathon of house work. L requests Chinese and is suddenly more amenable to visiting the nursery, which is near our favorite Chinese takeout spot. Score!
5:00 pm: We leave the plant shop with a heartleaf philodendron for B’s room and a giant, lovely, perfect monstera deliciosa just because. The total comes to $53.24. Then we pick up our food: $33.08 including the tip. L ordered a large veggie lo mein to share with B and General Tso’s chicken, and I got family style tofu and vegetables. We start B’s bedtime routine at 6:30 and he’s out by 7:00 - early for him!
After he’s down, L preps his breakfast sandwiches for the week and I do some dishes. Then we take mutual advantage of the extra hour we have together. Even after 12 years it’s always so good with L. I fall asleep around 10 pm feeling blessed.
🌿 Daily total: 179.32
✨DAY 5: MONDAY✨
5 am: I make my pour over and get started on work first thing. I have a couple of deadlines this week and the side gig to balance so I’m already feeling pressed for time! I wrap up an entire grant report before 6 am and feel very accomplished. Then I pause work to start our breakfast, which is all pre-prepped, hallelujah. While L and B eat breakfast, I get dressed in a black turtleneck minidress, busted old tights, black ankle socks, and my Doc Martens.
I help L load up the car with B and all his gear, and tell L to be careful. Today is L’s first day back teaching in person since December, and we’re both nervous since COVID is still running wild in our red state. On the way to work he fills up his car for $18.33.
2:30 pm: After another grant report, seventy gajillion emails, forty Slack messages, and several hours of Zoom calls, I’m ready for a break. I finish eating the quinoa salad I prepped during Zoom call #2 and then eat a pear too. I see our Misfits box has been delivered. It’s $30 a week, and is included in our monthly expenses. I unpack it, clean the counters, wipe down the bathroom sinks, take O for a walk, and sit down to work on my side gig grant report, which is due Wednesday. I set a 30 minute timer because I don’t want to be too late picking up B.
4:25 pm: Worked longer than I meant to! Pack some snacks and pick up B. On the way home we get a giant bag of potting soil so I can repot those plants. It’s $18.52. Come home and engage in B’s favorite winter activity: pressing all the buttons in the turned-off car. Meanwhile, in another car across town, L picks up a big bag of Purina One, butter, maple syrup, and applesauce. That total is $28.64.
5:30 pm: The whole family is home and we kick it inside until it starts to get dark. L and I gather all the things and take the creatures out for a walk even though there’s a light, but very cold, rain happening. B is cranky and so are we, so the walk is quick.
We eat leftover Chinese food around 7 and start B’s bedtime routine. B falls asleep at 8 and I update this diary for a while, then go watch Ted Lasso in bed with L til about 9:30. It’s much better than How I Met Your Mother, for the record.
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 65.51
✨Day 6: TUESDAY✨
3 am: B wakes up and needs a diaper change. I have the hardest time falling back asleep after: I can’t stop thinking about how I left B’s hoya out in the cold with its roots exposed most of the day yesterday and into tonight. But it’s too cold for me to get up again and pull it inside! So instead I toss and turn and hope it’s not dead yet.
6 am: L’s alarm wakes me up! No early morning reading and writing time for me. I get right up, make a giant pour over, and get breakfast together while L wakes up B. Then I actually sit down with them to eat: B and I both eat boiled eggs with everything but the bagel seasoning and some coconut milk yogurt, and L sips his coffee while his breakfast sandwich heats in the oven. I get dressed in my workout gear and walk the dog while L gets B ready for school. They leave, and I finally bring the hoya in, and start work, around 7:30. L buys coffee and snacks from the gas station on his way to work: $6.88.
9:30 am: I grab some crackers and peanut butter from the kitchen and notice a DMV bill on the fridge I’ve been meaning to pay, but don’t totally understand. I call them up and respond to emails while I sit on hold. Turns out I owe the DMV $10 for paying my Dad’s van insurance late. With the “processing fee” it comes to $11.17.
1:30 pm: Been on Zoom calls all morning, and decide to switch over to the side gig work for a bit. Meanwhile I eat that quinoa salad I prepped yesterday. At 2 pm, my longtime bestie and neighbor F comes over and we take O for a walk in the park together and have such a good conversation. While the context is (very) different, I’m reminded of the Toni Morrison quote when I think of F: “She’s a friend of my mind.” Such a gem, and such a smartie. At 3:30 I start a HIIT yoga class and it kicks my butt even though it’s only 20 minutes long. Afterwards, I shower and pick up B.
5:00 pm: L arrives home while B and I are playing, and we get in the car once more to check out a cute couch L scoped out on Facebook marketplace. It’s a sweet vintage brown velvet actually-for-real midcentury situation. Unfortunately we discover it’s also small and very uncomfortable. $200 not spent. Once home, my family goes for a walk and I make dinner - this grits and beans recipe from NYT cooking. It’s blessedly quick to pull together. Meanwhile D texts me and says my overalls are ready! YAY! She’s gonna drop them off in a couple of days. She says the total is $30. I include a tip and Venmo her $40.
7:00 pm: At bedtime, B cannot get enough of his books and we read All The World several times. He finally falls asleep around 8:20 and L and I eat dinner on the couch, with Ted Lasso. I drink a glass of red wine, which is a mistake: my anxiety spikes right after, my stomach hurts, and I can’t sleep. This is very upsetting as I want very much to be a wine mom. Does this happen to anyone else?
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 58.05
✨DAY 7: WEDNESDAY✨
5:45 am: Wake up with B cuddled into my back - L moved him to our bed in the middle of the night after his second wake up. Get my coffee and breakfast together and sit down at my computer to work on the side gig grant while everyone's asleep. Then L and I manage the morning rush together. I eat sourdough toast, two scrambled eggs, and some pineapple along the way.
7:30 am: Take O out for a walk and on a whim decide to listen to one of my favorite easy-listening pods: A Beautiful Mess. Normally the two sisters and co-hosts, Elsie and Emma, chat about things like home decor or craft making or how to balance kids and work. This episode is about the host’s evangelical upbringing, though, and is a real raw and honest tear jerker. Pair it with this, one of my top reads of 2020: “What Does the White Evangelical Want?” It gets me thinking about L’s upbringing in the church. He and all his siblings are all agnostic now.
Finally sit down at my desk and debate taking Adderall. I used it regularly in college and for a few years after in order to Do All The Things. I try to stay away from it now - I’m not trying to live an impossible life any more - but I also really want to pick B up earlier than normal today, and that means I need to meet all my deadlines and make it through two Zoom calls with my direct reports by 3 pm. I decide to take 4 mg. Right after I take it, three different friends text me at once and then, suddenly, I’ve spent an hour catching up via text. Get to work for real around 9 am.
3:00 pm: Wrapped all my calls, answered all my emails, washed all the dishes, ate some lunch, and finished the side gig work! OK Adderall, you beautiful bitch. Spend a few more minutes tying up loose ends and then gather my things to pick B up from school. The plan today is to go “play basketball” in the park near his school because he is OBSESSED with balls, and I’m trying to do more magical things every day with him. It’s cold but I’m ready to brave it on his precious, curly-headed behalf.
At 4 pm J calls and asks to go pick him up with me. Hooray, things just got even more magical! We head to a different-than-usual park together and run around until B sits in, and then drinks from, a puddle. We panic and J googles “What happens if my baby drinks from a puddle?” The search returns lots of stories of babies eating muddy rocks and surviving, so we decide it’s ok.
5:00 pm Head home and L is back from work! We take the smols on a walk and I tell L that I think nighttime screentime is making me anxious. I’m a sensitive creature and I really don’t want to blame the wine. He’s very perfect so he helps me think through an alternate plan for this evening: hot tea and book reading in bed, and maybe sex, too! Fun.
Next, I head home with O to pot the plants we bought the other day, and L takes B to the playground. They get back around 6:30 and I am very excited to reveal my new plant placements. Everyone feigns interest except O. Then we eat leftovers together and B gets in bed around 7:30. L and I promptly fall asleep next to him and don’t wake up again til 11 pm. Guess our new nighttime routine will have to wait til tomorrow!
🌿 DAILY TOTAL: 0
❤️ Section 5: TOTALS
Total Expenses: $478.71
Food & Drink: $220.25
Fun & Entertainment: $0
Home & Health: $109.01
Clothes & Beauty: $40
Transport: $29.50
Other: $79.95
❤️ Section 6: REFLECTION
This week reflects a new normal for us, I think! We just set the goal of saving up for another down payment in December, and that’s when I swore off online shopping both to save money and to stop lining the pockets of evil billionaires like Bezos (no shade to anyone who uses Amazon, this is purely a personal goal & I’m not sure I can meet it). This self-imposed rule is helping me reign in my discretionary spending overall. L and I have only been living a two-income, middle class life for a few years, and my lifestyle creep was a little out of control in 2020. That said, I can and do still regularly justify spending money on things that make life more luxurious and beautiful - like a $40 candle or a totally unnecessary but very lovely plant.
There are a couple of things not reflected in this diary that we regularly spend on: gifts (my achilles heel - for example, we spent three! thousand! dollars! on Christmas gifts in December), and medical bills. Both B and I had to visit the emergency room in 2020 and we are still getting random bills in the mail as our insurance company and the hospital duke it out. As I was editing this diary on Thursday, I received one for $787. Wahhhh. I think I’m gonna get on a payment plan, but even so that it will be over $200 a month.
Last thought: this process got me thinking in some detail about the contradiction of organizing for the fall of capitalism (and the rise of a more gentle and just economic system), yet believing everyone - including ourselves and our own families - deserve to live full and abundant lives. This means I compromise my own anti-capitalist values and beliefs every day, in big and small ways. Discuss?

Artist: Taylor Swift
Album: folklore
Released: July 24, 2020
Label: Republic
Listen: Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube / TIDAL

Introduction

Most of you probably know who Taylor Alison Swift is, whether you voluntarily learned it or not. Born on December 13, 1989, two numbers that will come back in her music a lot, she was born in West Reading, Pennsylvania. As a young girl, she was already interested in music and singing, her parents named her after singer-songwriter James Taylor after all. She was writing songs since she was 10 years old and moved to Nashville and started performing by 11. She started recording demos and meeting with executives from her tween to early teen years. Eventually, she met Scott Borchetta, the owner of a brand new label called Big Machine Records and wanted to make Taylor the first artist signed to him, which the 14 year old agreed to.
Taylor Swift released her first studio album, Taylor Swift in 2006 at age 16. The album got small success at first, but eventually songs like ‘Teardrops on My Guitar’ became hits on the Billboard Hot 100. Her next two albums, Fearless and Speak Now, became even bigger, getting top 10 hits and the former winning the Grammy’s Album of the Year award. She made a bigger pivot to pop music instead of country as her songs were getting bigger & bigger and her fanbase was growing exceedingly fast for a country act. Her next album, Red, was an experimental album for her. It featured her first singles that were 100% pop, and some of her biggest songs yet. In 2014, she released 1989, her biggest album with 5 top 10 hits, and the album that cemented her turn into pure, sugary pop, but still didn’t compromise her sharp writing. In 2016, some phone call was released that about being a bitch or something, idk I’ve never seen the zimmerman telegram. Taylor was against Germany trying to ally with Mexico in WWI, so in 2017 she released Reputation, an album with a totally darker aesthetic and vibe than she’s ever done before… which she abandons midway through and goes back to making more synthpop cuts.

How did Taylor head into 2020?

In November 2018, Taylor left Big Machine Records. Normally, a label switch wouldn’t mean too much, but while switching, her masters were bought by Scooter Braun from Scott Borchetta, with her not even aware they were up for sale. Scooter Braun is the manager of artists like Justin Bieber, but Scooter tried to make feuds between some of his artists and Taylor, so she already had animosity towards him behind the scenes. With this acquisition, Taylor was furious. Someone who she trusted since she was a teenager working with someone who had treated her poorly for years, all behind her back. To get back at them, she has promised to record all her previous work that is now owned by Scooter. In 2019, she makes her relationship with London boy Joe Alwyn public. Getting back to the music, she not-so-subtly kills the snake and releases her 7th album, Lover. She released the lead single, ‘ME!’ to, uhh… reviews. Lover had some of her sharpest writing yet, but also some of her most childish songs as well, both covered in big pastel paints, sometimes, literally. She planned a worldwide tour, Loverfest, in 2020, but sadly that was all closed due to the COVID-19 pandemic. With Taylor spending 2020 alone in VIP, she went back to her normal, lack of social media presence ways.
Then on July 23, she shocked all of her fans.

Tracklist

1. the 1
2. cardigan
3. the last great american dynasty
4. exile ft. Bon Iver
5. my tears ricochet
6. mirrorball
7. seven
8. august
9. this is me trying
10. illicit affairs
11. invisible string
12. mad woman
13. epiphany
14. betty
15. peace
16. hoax
17. the lakes

the 1

The opening track of an album always needs to grab the attention of the listener. “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit” does that job well. 'The 1' is a song that isn’t about Taylor's story, plenty of songs on 'Folklore' aren't. It’s a classic “the one that got away” story. Boy and girl meet, but they break up due to a lack of passion from the guy. However, despite what she tells herself, there’s still a big part of her thinking about what else could’ve happened had they still been together. As someone who can plot a 5 episode soap opera about me and someone hot guy who randomly shows up on my twitter feed, I can absolutely relate to daydreaming and overthinking about an unobtainable relationship about someone. She even tries to imagine him moving on to make it easier for her to move on, to no avail. A jaunty, yet melancholic, piano-driven song, it’s a lovely opener for an album that’s gonna get a lot less jaunty from here on out.
Favorite Lyrics: If one thing had been different/Would everything be different today?

cardigan

’Cardigan’ is the SMASH #1 HIT SONG that SERVED LONGEVITY! It’s also the first part of the fabled “teenage love triangle trilogy” on the album, along with ’August’ and ’Betty’. The trilogy is about 3 teenagers: Betty, James, and an unnamed 2nd girl. Betty and James were just two high schoolers in a relationship together. Yet, over the summer, James cheated on her with unnamed 2nd girl. ’Cardigan’ is the song from the point-of-view of Betty, starting off with her reminiscing about their relationship and the good days. However, on verse two and chorus two, she talks about her realization that James was *good* friends with someone else besides her, and she broke up with him. Later on, she admits to herself that she does wonder if he was the one for her, yet expects he’ll come back to her anyway, which he does over on ’Betty' (her mind, it amazes me). One of my favorite parts of this song is how the title phrase “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said you were my favorite,” changes in meaning throughout the song. First, it refers to how he made her feel a beautiful love, just like a comforting cardigan. Then, it shows that she realized she was just a 2nd choice, having the lie of “you’re my favorite” said in her face while being tossed aside. Finally, on the last part of the song, she's feeling depressed after the breakup, but he shows up on her porch asking to be taken back. Also, I think this is one of the bottom 3 songs on this album, MOVING ON!
Favorite Lyrics: You drew stars around my scars/But now I'm bleedin'

the last great american dynasty

*plops history book on desk* Rebekah Harkness is not one of the first names to come to mind when you think of Taylor Swift. Rebekah was a woman who died in 1982, Taylor wasn’t even born then! How is she an analogy for Taylor in this song? Well, Taylor purchased her Holiday Home in 2013 and eventually started learning the history about her. Rebekah married the son of an oil tycoon who, upon the death of his father, owned a large share of the oil and lots of money. Seven years later, he died of a heart attack, leaving Rebekah with all the money, but also a lot of the press at the time put an unfair amount of the blame on Rebekah, saying she destroyed the “last great American dynasty.” After being bored in her new 13 million dollar holiday home, Taylor noticed the parallels between Rebekah’s sexist narrative of being the cause of the death of a dynasty, and her own narrative of sexist tabloids and the internet, known breeding ground of misogyny. Rebekah was having a wonderful time herself, living her life and “ruining everything,” Taylor was doing the same and being unbothered by the narrative surrounding her (mostly). This is one of my favorite songs on the album, and the catchiest song on the project, there is so much to love about this. HOWEVER, apparently Rebekah actually stole her neighbor’s CAT and dyed it key lime green, so this is literally unplayable.
Favorite Lyrics: There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen/I had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile ft. Bon Iver

Have you ever wanted Somebody That I Used to Know but Justin Vernon is Gotye and Taylor Swift is Kimbra? Well, what the fuck, are you psychic or something? Anyway, 'Exile' delivers on your specific demand and gives the picture of two sides of a shattered relationship from an unexpected meeting after the breakup. Through one set of eyes, it was a surprising end to what seemed to be going well, and seeing her move on from them so fast is a cruel gut punch. Through another, it was a flawed relationship that was doomed early on and he still can’t understand what they had was not true love. After they each get a verse and chorus to themselves to make their case, we get the bridge. The bridge is the climax of this breakup as well as the song itself. After a final cry of ”So I’m leaving out the side door”, he just tells her to get the fuck OUT. He’s done crying over her and he totally knew they were an unstable couple too. He talks about how she never tried to communicate, all while she tells him that he did bother trying to listen to her communications. There was so many signs given out, but the lack of communication doomed everything and left what once was a budding romance into two people stewing in their anger and assertion that they are not the villain in this situation. It’s a heartbreaking song, and honestly should’ve gotten a fucking music video and proper promotion omg, I know its a cliche at this point, but Taylor please hire me to pick out your singles for your secret 3rd album that probably isn’t even called Woodvale.
Favorite Lyrics: You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out)/You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

my tears ricochet

If I ever see Scooter Braun or Scott Borchetta, its on sight. ‘My Tears Ricochet’ is one of the reasons I needed to explain the exposition on why her move from Big Machine would come back to haunt her. This was the first song she wrote for Folklore, and the only one she wrote completely solo. It describes, “an embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of obsession.” She sings from the point of view of a ghost looking over her own funeral and seeing her abuser (and possible killer?) at the wake as well. She then talks about how fake he’s acting to get everyone to think he’s a victim in this whole ordeal as well, now that his beloved is gone. While there are plenty of descriptions that fit this character, there are plenty of obvious real life allusions to Scott Borchetta. Referencing how he would comfort her after she was in public feuds, how all their good years together are forever marred by the betrayal, and how he still gets to own her “stolen lullabies” that she created herself. All this while he tries to blame her for this whole drama. Anything to save face at the wake, while he owns all her stolen lullabies. It’s one of the most beautiful songs sonically, but also one of the most furious, and that fury is deserved.
Favorite lyrics: Cursing my name, wishing I stayed/You turned into your worst fears

mirrorball

We all have songs that, when we hear them, they get insanely personal immediately and you get attached in ways most people don’t. For me, the song on Folklore that I relate too much to is 'Mirrorball'. Without delving too deep into my own problems, I’ve always felt like I don’t know what my actual personality is. I’ve had several friend groups throughout the years and each one I played up a different side of myself, technically, I still do to my family with me still being in the closet. This is why I relate to this song the most of all the songs on this album. Taylor is a mirrorball. What does that mean? It's got multiple different meanings for this song. It means she reflects people’s wishes onto them, that she tries to be the brightest thing in the room, she has a lot of visible cracks and when she’s shattered, she’s broken into a million of unrecognizable pieces. She’s entertaining to everyone, but she specifically loves entertaining boyfriend, knowing that he’s the one person who loves her for herself. Even on the bridge, where she references COVID-19 shutting down all her planned performances, she recognizes that now only performing for an audience of one, but she's still happy performing for him. Mirrorball is full of so much heart that it really does shine on this album.
Favorite Lyrics: I want you to know/I'm a mirrorball/I can change everything about me to fit in

seven

'Seven' reveals that the real folklore was friendship all along. It’s a fictional song about a childhood friendship that’s now only vague memories of the time spent together as one of them moves on with their life, thinking about childhood innocence and how great their friendship was as well, despite not even able to recall what they looked like. One of the things I love about this song is that while it does show a beautiful image of childhood, it still alludes to darker themes than just normal childhood memories, such as abusive parents and how innocence will always leave a child at some point. Now, there is some debate over whether the “hide in the closet” line does refer to a queer relationship, but my answer is most likely no, as it’s the only mention of anything like this in the song. Of course, I might just be “gal pals”-ing this song, but it’s open to interpretation. One of my favorite lyrics on this song is “And just like a folk song/Our love will be passed on,” tying it in to the album’s theme. The love will be told through memories down to her kids and grandkids, maybe one day mentioning this love to their kids, even offhandedly. I love the piano line of this song and the lyrics really bring up an image of childhoods past, from playing pirates, throwing tantrums, and rope swings over a creek, which uhh…. be careful around them, kids.
Favorite Lyrics: And though I can't recall your face/I still got love for you

august

Now we have the second song in the “cheating high schooler love triangle story three parter” after ’Cardigan’. ’August’ is from the point-of-view of the unnamed girl that James cheated on Betty with. She recalls her lovely summer fling with James, full of nervousness, beautiful beaches, and teenage love. The production on this song is some of the best on the album, giving a perfect feel of a lovely August day relaxing on the beach with someone’s man. Unnamed Girl knew that this love was fated to only last the summer, if that, but she still held up the hope that James would just be hers. She was ready to just drop everything and become his, and even drove to him to try and convince him, all this backed by an explosive bridge and outro. UG does come back to her senses on the final line of the bridge, knowing that she wasn’t losing James, he was going back to who he shouldn’t have left to begin with. It’s a very bittersweet song, but a shining light on the album.
Favorite Lyrics: August slipped away into a moment in time/'Cause it was never mine

this is me trying

'This Is Me Trying' is an overthinker’s worse nightmare. Sometimes, you realize that you made a big mistake in a relationship and you want to see if there’s any chance of repairing it. This song is her trying (duh) to come back and accept all her mistakes to be taken back by her ex. While there at his doorway though, she starts worrying about how her words might not come out like she wants right now, unlike how sharp they were when she was angry. So what does she do? She just lets them know the simplest way possible, this is me trying my hardest to apologize and repair any possible relationship we could have. This alone would hit real hard as a song, however, this song also has more explicit references to Taylor herself than most of her “character songs” on Folklore, especially on the second verse. She delivers some of the most painful lyrics on the whole album in these verses. Verse two alone talks about being told her problems are all in her head, alcoholism, trying to get ahead so much that you fall behind, even in class, and oversharing with random people on accident. It paints a scary picture of Taylor’s own mental state at the moment and in her past. While I do think that some of these are just part of the “character,” its hard not to think that Taylor put a little more of herself than normal into the lyrics of this song.
Favorite Lyric: I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

illicit affairs

Taylor says “FUCK the 6th/7th commandment (depending on what holy book you’re reading) on ‘Illicit Affairs.’ She writes a story about being involved in an affair with a married man. What started out with stares at a party, now leads to hot, regrettable sex in parking lots. She gives out some advic- I mean, details about how he hides his true intentions when heading out for another secret rendezvous. While most of the verses are just the normal details of how they’re hiding their meetings, by the bridge she confesses that she knows how conflicted he’s actually feeling. Calling himself a fool, and acknowledging that despite how strongly he feels for her, he can’t tell anyone else in his life these feelings, lest he ruin his reputation. Tbh, I still am conflicted on whether or not this song is against cheating or if its still reveling in the thought of it, but I'm not conflicted on whether or not this song is great.
Favorite Lyrics: They show their truth one single time/But they lie and they lie and they lie/A million little times

invisible string

From a song about Taylor destroying a marriage in secret, the natural path is to go right into a cheery love song about her and Joe. ‘Invisible String’ is probably the most Evermore sounding song on Folklore which is not a good thing. But this song is good! It’s an adorable little guitar pluckin’ song about fate bringing Taylor and Joe together. It’s based off of an Asian folk myth and maybe the adorable 2015 game Unravel of how a red string connects two soulmates together through their pinkies and into their hearts, guiding them to right places and times until their meeting. In this song, she mentions some of the minute details of their relationship that she randomly made note of as they realized they were connected together by fate. She even manages to make sitting in a taxi cab listening to Bad Blood sound somewhat tolerable. Listing off his shirt working at fro-yo shops, the autumn leaves in a park they walked around in, and waitresses that know who she is, she leaves a cute idea of how their relationship grew. She also briefly mentions how she used to be hateful to her old exes, but over time realized that she’s recovered enough to listen to The Jonas Brothers again. ‘Invisible String’ is very comfy, and I think this was put before the next song to show the listener that “Hello! I am happy and in love! No need to worry too much about me!”
Favorite Lyrics: Green was the color of the grass

mad woman

’Mad Woman’ is a lesson of composed rage. Taylor explains what most people already know: society will paint a mad woman as crazy, delusional, etc, and try to shame her for being angry. However, Taylor has embraced her anger and will get as angry as she pleases because she’s tired of holding back. And of course, who else does she point that fury towards but Scooter and Scott. She knows that she’s living rent free in their heads, and lawns apparently and revels in that fact. Taylor even mentions how they used some women in their life (mainly Scooter’s wife) to leave the most offensive posts about her, while the two men were in defensive mode when the feud first went up. Taylor calls out Yael specifically mentioning that she knows that Taylor is in the right here, but “goodwives” always have to agree with their husbands. Which lowkey feels misogynistic but you know what they say, no one likes a non-misogynistic woman, what a shame she went non-misogynistic.
Favorite Lyrics: They say "move on," but you know I won't

epiphany

You know what, I’m gonna say it. ’Epiphany’ is a good song. Sure, it’s not the best on the album, or top three, or top five, maybe not even top ten, BUT it is definitely not the worst as so many people claim. It’s two different moving stories through the eyes of a WWI soldier, specifically Taylor’s grandfather, and a nurse during the time of the COVID-19 pandemic. Why did she decide to connect these two? Obviously it’s because [Note to self: write something smart here so people can get on your side about Epiphany being better than Peace, Hoax, and Cardigan]. Both paint equally grim pictures of being surrounded by loss, whether it be men on the battlefield of a war or ordinary people needing to be put on ventilators to breathe. Verse one and two both end with the depressing line 'some things you just can’t speak about,' which I interpret as both of these events are clearly traumatic yet most people wouldn’t want to hear about such depressing topics, so people have to repress them. The harshest part of the song comes at the bridge and outro where the only hope they have has to come to them in one of the few times they’re able to sleep, with that hope being very unrealistic in many cases as more bodies pile up on the battlefield and in hospital beds. It’s a real depressing and all too real song that deserves way more praise.
Favorite Lyrics: Just one single glimpse of relief/To make some sense of what you've seen

betty

The conclusion of the “TLTCU” (Teenage Love Triangle Cinematic Universe), ’Betty’ is confusingly a song through the perspective of James trying to make things right with him and Betty. Again, she’s singing from a perspective of James. Taylor is not being a lesbian on this song, anymore than ’Epiphany’ was Taylor’s coming out as a World War One veteran. James explains how he knows his introversion at the school dance made Betty have to enjoy herself with other people at the dance, which sparked jealousy in James. He was walking home dejected one night when Unnamed Girl ^TM pulls up to him and says “Wanna go to my cool beach house and possibly fuck?” and James couldn’t resist, I guess. Little did James know, Inez was watching them from the corner, and she was definitely not keeping that to herself. Eventually, Betty was doing her best to avoid James, like you typically do to cheating exes you’re still forced to see at school or work. James was always curious of just crashing a party with her and just spilling his guts to her and asking her back, wondering if it will work or she’ll just beat the shit out of him. Either way, he finally gets the right mix of courage and desperation to go to her party. The song ends on a big question mark before we could get Betty’s answer, leaving the audience to guess what Betty says. But let’s be real, if your cheating ex showed up at your party uninvited and asked you to take them back, would you actually say yes in any case?
Favorite Lyrics: Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself?

peace

https://i.imgur.com/aw8hgR0.png. Yeah, I am not a fan of this one, folks. It’s a cute song about how Taylor knows her life is crazy and she might not ever be able to give Joe a normal romance, but she still loves him the same. But, is it just me or is the instrumentation and the vocals/lyrics go against each other at several points on this song? It’s like someone tried to make a poor mashup of two different tracks, and believe me, I know a thing or two about shitty mashups. The song also once again throws some shade at Scooter, Scott, and Kanye, but it feels real out of place for a love song, even if it’s about her crazy life. Really, I just feel like anything 'Peace' tries to do, some other track does it better.
Favorite Lyrics: All these people think love's for show/But I would die for you in secret

hoax

Wait, there’s a song called Hoax on this album?

the lakes

‘The Lakes,’ aka that song that made everyone realize swifties have lower reading comprehension than we thought, is the bonus track on the deluxe version of the album. I’ll be honest, I was originally not a fan of this song until about 4 days ago, listening to it again for this writeup. There’s something beautiful with these strings and the plan of just packing up all your stuff and your beloved and just living near beautiful lakes forever. Just ignoring all the bullshit from everyday life and “being superstar Taylor Swift” life, and living with your BF while nature moves around you two. I adore the bridge on this song and how it makes living at the lakes seem as gorgeous as a Monet painting. Who knew putting a good song on the physical copy would actually work to drive up album sales?
Favorite Lyrics: I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet/'Cause I haven't moved in years

What happened after it’s release?

When folklore was released, you had a choice: do I listen on streaming or do I get a physical copy, or do I get the other physical version, or the other physical version, or the different physical version, or maybe another physical version, or the other CD/Vinyl option, or the “Meet Me Behind The Mall” version, or the last version I could own physically? And then after a few weeks you had choices on streaming: do I listen to the album, or do I listen to “folklore: the escapism chapter,” or do I listen to “folklore: the sleepless nights chapter,” or do I listen to “folklore: the saltbox house chapter,” or do I listen to “folklore: the yeah I showed up at your party chapter?” And then you had the choice of listening to Cardigan (Cabin in Candlelight), Betty (Live from the 2020 CMAs), or Folklore: the long pond studio sessions (From the Disney+ Special) [Deluxe Version.] We love Taylor for giving her fans so many ways to listen! Oh, she also dropped another album called Woodvale or something.

Discussion Questions:

#1. How do you like folklore compared to her other albums?
#2. What’s your favorite song from the album? And because we need some drama, least favorite?
#3. Folklore deals with many different themes of stress, anger, love, feminism, cheating, and more. Which themes were handled the best and/or the worst?
#4. Many people criticized Taylor for “using an indie aesthetic” at a time when many actual indie artists were struggling due to the pandemic. Do you think these criticisms have merit, yes or no? Why? And will you make me regret asking this on popheads?
#5. Did you watch “Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions?” Did it have an affect on your enjoyment of the album or certain songs?
#6. You can’t prove that the ghost of Rebekah Harkness *didn’t* possess Taylor Swift and force her to write a song about Rebekah’s narrative to lay her soul to rest and let her pass into the afterlife, like an episode of the mid to late 2000s tv show Ghost Whisperer starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. Therefore, I will believe this is exactly what happened. What are some of your strange interpretations/headcanons on this album? (Bonus points if you don’t mention Karlie Kloss)

TLDR (because this is really long)

My constraints:

• 24M, lower middle class, third-worlder, with a physics degree
• ADHD (=> low conscientiousness, high-variance attention to detail)
• have in-person, context-dependent social skills, but not enough to network aggressively
• otherwise good at math, programming and word-y things

My inner desires:

• achieve FIRE in a first-world country and start whichever moonshot company I want
• start Astral Codex Eleven and write enough words so that GPT-N can emulate me
• found a László Polgár cult
• get me and my dog into a liquid nitrogen tank

Hi, ssc. I feel like I fucked up my trajectory in life by deliberately straying off the beaten path. I got Silicon Valley-pilled very early on and it didn’t work out as well as I’d hope it would. So…
Anyway, so first things first:

• There’s this trope that entrepreneurs make for bad employees and I feel like I played it straight here. I founded a company when I was 18 and it flopped after five years, leaving me with nothing to show for it AND also a glaring lack of employment history.
• In the meantime, I spent waaay more time on extracurriculars in college than on schoolwork (physics) and that left me with a 2.4 GPA. Sure, I had trouble completing my homework and got myself diagnosed with ADHD too late, but that number is still a number and thus I’m severely limited to the kinds of places I can apply to.
• Third: I was born in a developing country. The worst thing you can do in your career is to be born in a developing country, so don’t do it.

Let me explain that last point. Before COVID-19 and its rapidly multiplying cousins, I had places to be in. Got accepted into newfangled Silicon Valley fellowships, went to international hackathons, all that jazz. But I couldn’t follow through with all of them for the simple reason that the US denied me a B1 visa. Which is like, great, right? Try again, live another day, not an AI takeover-level doomsday scenario. There were other options but I had no money and there was no way in hell I could keep studying while trying to get $10 000 just to pay for lawyer fees for an O-1 which wasn’t guaranteed to work out anyway…so yeah.
That was all Q1 2020. Instead, I had to become a freeloader in my mum’s metaphorical basement who’s also supporting my currently unemployed older brother.
The thing is, lots of career advice out there is aimed at 20-somethings in the US. Which makes sense, because the Internet is American, but it also means a dearth of advice for people like me which a) do not fail Economics 101 (Become a nurse! Everyone and their mother became nurses 30 years ago when it was still lucrative to do so and now they’re in Canada licking syrup off maple leaves and barely conscious seniors), or b) aren’t borderline illegal.
For example, since I’m not white, even if I speak English fluently it’s going to be an uphill battle for me to move to some East Asian country to teach ESL. I can’t just move to Europe too and pluck diamonds out of some newly discovered diamond mine because, well, the Schengen visa is almost as hard to get for people like me as a US visa. And it’s not like I can sell bathwater…
I know the Ideal Entrepreneur isn’t supposed to be whiny, and the Ideal Rationalist doubly so, but god fucking dammit I want things! I wanna be out there doing stuff.
So, okay. In the spirit of shutting up and multiplying, what’s my n-step plan then?

Step 1: Suck it up and move to Canada

Months of scouring iwantout and immigrationcanada have led me to believe that Canada and Australia are the only places in the world which are actively trying to minimise the number of pulled hairs per immigrant they get. Their immigration systems are points-based, which means you can actually plan your life around them instead of going on wild goose chases and trying to seduce people into committing immigration fraud.
My reasoning goes: anything and everything I do from here on out is partly constrained by money, and partly constrained by the trustworthiness of the institutions around me. For reference, it took ~6 months for me to register my company in our version of the SEC. And that’s with lots of ‘applying grease’ and other unscrupulous-but-necessary activities which I very much would not like to do again.
So the first step in my plan is to give up trying to found yet another company and get a real job.
To do that, I have to tick the following boxes:

• [ ] achieve ⩾B2 level in French
• [ ] get 1/2/3 x 1560 hours on the clock (either through full-time employment or freelancing)
• [ ] earn at least 12 960 CAD in the meantime OR somehow trick a Canadian employer to offer me a LMIA-category job

Doing all these will get me enough points to potentially be invited into the country without having to go back to school. These are pretty easy/hard depending on how much time I’m willing to allow myself to achieve them. If I hurry and make the right choices, I can probably accomplish the first two by 2022.
The third ones’ tricky though, and thus we go back to the whole developing country issue again. Most local job postings offer salaries that fall within 4000-8000 USD/year, which is not nearly enough to survive on while also saving up to immigrate BUT the advantage of choosing them is I can probably get any one of them quickly with the stuff I already have in my résumé. On the other hand, most decent-paying programming jobs are restricted to US/EU timezones (I live along UTC+8) and there’s the problem of, well, I don’t really know how to apply to jobs and their job postings are much more intimidating. At least, with local jobs, I already have an idea of what to expect during interviews from conversations with my peers.
I know it’s HR people who write those things and you don’t have to match all the requirements 100% to get accepted but the competition right now is fierce, right? I see people sending out 100+ résumés without getting so much as a canned response, so what are my odds being in a weird timezone AND not having several GitHub repos with 1000+ stars? If on the other hand I niche down and stalk the monthly Who is Hiring? posts on Hacker News, well, those guys are even more serious about posted requirements and are probably holding LeetCode interviews.
Still, not getting a job from the Western Hemisphere is leaving a lot of money on the table so I’m thinking there’s two ways I can go about this: either a) I spend 2-3 months obsessively padding my GitHub then interviewing with EU companies, or b) I grind LeetCode for much longer and try my hand at US/Canada companies directly.
Hell, if I do it right, maybe I can get transferred and not have to worry about my CRS points. A lot of people have warned me over the years that immigrating to a first-world country will probably mean I have to do some manual labor for a couple of years, and going by LMIA-category job postings the reality might not be far off. And I get that, I really do. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but it just feels like such a waste, though. I can code my way out of a paper bag, I can teach graduate-level math to children, I can run a proper business and yet to better my living conditions I have to change toddlers’ diapers? I know dignity is one of those snooty things which people like me shouldn’t feel entitled to especially if I’m LARP-ing rationality and trying to Systematically Win, but it still sucks, y’know?

Step 2: ./financial-independence.sh, sign up for cryonics

Another sage comment I keep hearing from Canadian immigrant-would-bes is that, it’s a thankless achievement. You basically uproot your life so your children can frolick in cut grass instead of trash piles infused with rusty nails.
Since this is a pseudonymous post anyway, I can be shamelessly ambitious. I want to raise the next John Stuart Mill, and this is a huge part of why I want staying in my country of origin isn’t an option. But that also means I have all sorts of soft deadlines, e.g., peak fertility, income level by said peak, my own capacity to homeschool my children, etc. that I have to meet to maximise the success of this…err…project, not to mention having my own intellectual body of work to pass on.
Lots of things to do, time is so short, and I can already feel my mortal coil unwinding by the second…
Another constraint my utility function has imposed on me is an otherworldly attachment to my 8-month old puppy. I would very much not like him to die, and so I would like to be in a position to take advantage of biotech advances from companies like Loyal in a couple of years AND then maybe sign us both up for cryonics down the line. I know ssc has a love-hate relationship with cryonics and cryonics-adjacent technologies but I’ve been an LW-er far longer and the anti-cryonics arguments I’ve seen have yet to shift my priors as strongly as the original discussions on that darned green website.
It’s weird, actually. I used to not want to get pets, because I knew it would make things 10x harder for me (e.g., I can’t squeeze myself into six-person 3BR apartments anymore) but he was bequeathed to me and it was downright creepy how quickly my values drifted. Literally, within four days, I became so enamored with my furry friend that I had pre-mourned his probable death.
In any case, by this point I should have produced a voluminous body of work in some discipline. Which is basically the same thing as saying I have no idea what to do with my life.
I am clever. Or rather, I have to believe I’m clever because otherwise I have nothing else. I have no other genetic endowments. I will probably lose a sprint to a guy in a wheelchair, and my parents were dirt poor before they became not-as-poor so I don’t have a pile of gold to sit on. In a way, my insistence on naïvely thinking of life as a munchkinable game protects me from the harsh reality of not really having great odds when it comes to doing any of the things I want to do. So instead of playing statistical tennis, why not work with what I have, right?

Step 3: Do what I would have done in my 20s

There are lots of interesting people doing interesting things, and most of them can be found on Discord, Twitter, and Clubhouse.
wookay that statement sort of outs me as a grifter, huh, but it's becoming clear that this is LinkedIn 2.0 especially for people in the Bay Area memespace. Savvy careerists have recently been touting cosigning-style credentialism everywhere, and discussions in these spaces tend to feel very permissive (?), high Openness to Experience (??) in a way that’s hard to pin down. What’s even better is, even though I’ve given up on migrating to the Bay, I now have access to these pockets of techno-optimism that I otherwise wouldn’t. And that’s great! Entrepreneurs get a lot of flack for many things (some fully deserved, admittedly) so it’s nice to have a place where people try their darned hardest to see the good in your ideas.
If the coming Singularity somehow turns out to be underwhelming , I would very much like to start a space shipping/manufacturing company or hell join these folks who are trying to build self-replicating factories on the Moon. Barring that, I’d like to be the first to take this tech to market. I mean, I can’t be the only one seeing the trillion-dollar genital enlargement bill lying on the ground here, right?
Given all this, it’s really painful for me to even consider getting a job, even if saying that sounds so…socially unacceptable? Insert CW designator here? It means I have to give up working on this promising new idea I recently had (or at least take it up as an evenings-and-weekends affair), just as I was able to finally find a cofounder [*]. I’ve always known I rolled badly so I took great pains to rebuild my environment to maximise my chances. That’s how I was able to start a company without having any capital: I found co-founders who were willing to foot the bill. Similarly, I’ve convinced my entire family to let me disentangle myself from the typical Asian path of being my parents’ retirement plan, even though culturally speaking that was a very selfish thing to do. I don’t know how I could have done things differently, to be honest. There weren’t win-win options in my case, but then again maybe I should have looked harder.
One thing I would have if I was born in the average household in the US are equally palatable options. If I don’t drop out of high school and immediately move to the Bay, I would have gone to apply to the best universities in the world. Of course, there’s no telling if I’m actually going to get into any of them, but the alternative is what I have: a degree from some no-name university as my only real credential. Sure, what I learned in my uni was probably not that far off from what I would have learned in say Dartmouth (according to people I’ve asked) but if employers really cared about what people knew, we wouldn’t be in this pickle we’re in right now, would we?
Barring all that, I still have so many other options to chose from. Work in a trade, own a farm, become an au pair in some cozy European country, join a commune, backpack in Southeast Asia with my powerful visa, pull a Matt Damon and audit classes, write the next Great American Novel, join the formless matrix like Gwern, work remotely in an RV, etc.
Either that or I just have a very, very unrealistic view of how things work over there.

Outro

I've heard all sorts of horrible things about jobs. In fact, my mom works 16 hours a day, six days a week for ~8700 USD/year with unpaid overtime and a boss who keeps telling her she should be "thankful that she didn't lose her job during a pandemic". They even have their employees on a minute-by-minute-accurate pseudo-surveillance app where bathroom breaks are written off one's worked hours and not moving her mouse every three seconds is grounds for a being told off come performance review time. And she's supposed to be the head of her department! So I'm thinking if that's how things are, right now, and by good ol' Copernicus there's nothing special about her, then don't I have enough reason to stay away from office work forever?
I will vomit my spleen out if I get into such a dystopian state.
Of course, something tells me that her case is somewhat out there in terms of being y’know, healthy? And it does show. She’s been having breakdowns every other week and it’s a real worry for us that she’s going to pop a vein or two soon, if things don’t change. But yeah, even if I know intellectually that not all jobs are like hers, I can’t absorb it on a visceral level. I can’t make my inner brain follow my outer brain.
So that’s why I’m here. Our monthly (Slack-free) fixed costs amount to like 720 USD/month which I’m guessing is below the US poverty line so I am sorry if I’m trying to take away your jobs. But all this remote business means that the bar shouldn’t be high for people like me, right? I just have to earn enough money to allow my mum to get a new, not-run-by-Satan-himself job and hopefully allow me to save for Canadian Express Entry.
Lastly, a final complicating factor is I don’t know if I can stomach programming as a job. I love programming for programming’s sake, so I worry that unlike in my first startup where I could dictate what needs to be done, a soulless job would leave my interest a likewise soulless husk. If anything, I’m currently under the throes of the Lisp curse after having avoided the language family for so long.
I feel like I'm having tunnel vision here. Surely there are more career paths than engraving technomancic runes into electrified rock? I did scour the subreddit for other career-advice threads, which seem to crop up every season (sorry!) and there are jobs like business analysis that seem to be up my alley (aside from being the CTO in my last startup, I also did a ton of market research and spun various internal processes directly from it) But then again, I am writing all this down so I’m at the point where I’m desperate enough to compromise on this.
What do you think, ssc? Any glaring errors aside from this entirely incoherent mess? Alternative paths I’m not seeing?
[*]: We could bootstrap a less risky SaaS company and grind towards $1000 MRR but that could take at least two years to come to fruition, if I'm being honest.

Hope mods allow this since they don't allow multiple posts, I'll update it until the end
Source:

Messi: "Christmas Holidays? I'm going to celebrate it in Argentina with my family."
Messi: "When I was little, I always asked for something football related. A jersey, a ball, boots... My parents did everything to make me happy."
Messi: "I even remember receiving a ball that was very expensive, the official ball of the league. My father and mother always did their best."

 

Messi: "I'm not someone who talks a lot to the media, I prefer to talk more with people close to me."
Messi: "Playing on the PlayStation? I stopped playing. It's more Thiago who plays. Before, I played all day long. After his birth, I stopped everything and then I played with him from time to time."

 

Messi: "I admire many athletes, Nadal in tennis and Cristiano in football for example. There are a lot of great athletes."

 

Messi: "Barcelona is my life."
Messi: "Barça gave me everything. I've lived here for longer than in Argentina..."
Messi: "I learned everything here. The club formed me as a player and as a person."

 

Messi: "Today I'm okay. It took a while before I started to feel well. I'm eager, and wanting to fight for all the titles that we compete for."
Messi: "The club are in a difficult situation. It's difficult for everyone. It's going to be very hard to be where we once were."
Messi: "I don't concern myself about what people say, everyone has their own opinion."

 

Messi: "Cried lately? I didn't cry because of sports issues, but I did suffer a lot. I did cry because of other issues, but I prefer not to go into details."

 

Messi: "My arrival in Barcelona was a difficult moment, because I was 13 years old and I was leaving everything behind me. Friends, the country... I was coming to a place where no one knew me."
Messi: "At that time I was shy, like stuck in a shell. I only thought about achieving my dream."

 

Messi: "Thiago is shy, he doesn't like it that everyone is talking to him, but he's getting used to everything."
Messi: "Mateo? He manages all that much better. He loves all the attention."

 

Messi: "I never made jokes to Bartomeu about Nobita (cartoon character), but there were some who did (laughs)."

 

Messi: "My life is very normal and sometimes boring. I get up, have breakfast, take the kids to school, I train, I go back."
Messi: "I have lived here in Castelldefels for ten years. It's small and I know everything, of course."
Messi: "Sometimes I would like to be anonymous... Especially when I'm with my children."
Messi: "I will always be grateful because the love that everyone gives me is spectacular."

 

Messi: "The feeling of playing in an empty stadium? It's horrible. Everything makes it more equal, it is not the same to come to the Camp Nou. No one is there."
Messi: "Crazy calendar? One doesn't think about the athlete. It's seen more for the economic interest than for the sport or the game."

 

Messi: "Maradona's death? I was here at my house and I got a message from my dad. I turned the TV on right away, and i started to find out about everything.
Messi: "The tribute to Maradona? The people of Newell’s gave the shirt to me. That day I knew that I had to score a goal and it was strange. In a play out of nowhere, when I least looked for it, the goal appeared."

 

Messi: "I want the best for my country. I don't like to talk about politics, but I would like things to improve. I want the people to be happy."

 

Messi: "The 8-2? It was very, very tough. For everyone, because of how the game was played, because of losing... You can lose, I have lost many times and you have to accept it. But it was a hard moment because of how we lost."

 

Messi: "I don't play to be the best in the world. I play to win and to give everything to my club."
Messi: "A psychologist? I should have gone, but I never went. They insisted that I had to go. I know I needed it, but I never went to one."

 

Messi: "Yes, I would send the burofax again. I'm eternally grateful to this club. I love the club, I love Barcelona, ​​the city. I feel like I gave everything to the club. Everything the club gave me I deserved for what I did. I thought I needed a change, I completed a cycle."
Messi: "My kids were saying that they didn't want to leave, but I felt it was the best for me. I felt like a cycle was over."

 

Messi: "Suárez? It did seem crazy to me how things were done. He left for free, paying the remaining years of his contract and he joined a team that fight for the same objectives as us."

 

Messi: "Bartomeu deceived me in many things, I prefer not to go into details, but there were many lies in several years."

 

Messi: "Leaving for free last summer? I knew that if we went to court, we would have won. Not just one lawyer told me that, many did. But I didn't want to leave in that way."

 

Messi: "I don't know how long my last chat with Pep Guardiola was, but we do talk. We don't talk about whether we are going to meet again. For me Pep is the best, he has something special."

 

Messi: "Luis Enrique and Pep Guardiola are the best coaches for me. They taught me a lot."

 

Messi: "Koeman is doing a good job. Little by little we are improving."

 

Messi: "Tusquets said he would have sold me? It's of no use talking about it, it's in the past."
Messi: "I don't want to position myself with a Presidential candidate. I want someone who returns to club to where it belongs to win."

 

Messi: "If Xavi comes, do I stay? I don't know, we'll see what happens in June."

 

Messi: "It will be difficult to bring players. There is no money. You have to bring important players. Bringing Neymar would be very expensive. It will be a difficult situation for the new president, he must be intelligent.

 

Messi: "MSN? Yes, we talk from time to time. We have a group on WhatsApp. We maintain the relationship, almost every day."

 

Messi: "Griezmann? We share a healthy relationship, sometimes we drink mate together."

 

Messi: "I will not negotiate with other clubs. I will wait for the season to end and in June I will decide."

 

Messi: "I would like to play in the United States someday, but I don't know if it will happen."

 

Messi: "I can't say what I will do because I don't know either."

 

Messi: "Going to Real Madrid or Atlético Madrid? No, impossible."

 

Messi: "If I leave, I would like to leave in the best way and later return to contribute to the club. Barcelona is bigger than any player."

 

Messi: "Friends in the dressing room? I get along well with everyone, but especially with the people who have been at the club the longest."

 

Messi: "After retirement? I would like to be involved in football, not as a coach, I don't see myself coaching, but maybe as a sporting director."

 

Messi: "I hope we end this cruel year that we've all had to experience well, and hopefully next year is better for everyone."

  That's it y'all, discuss away

Sure, there are plenty of posts from people who applied to a job and got an offer 30 seconds later. Good for them. But if you're on this sub, you're probably running into more difficulty. I did. Job hunting these days is inherently pretty hard, but there are plenty of things I did wrong during my job hunt that could have saved me time and trouble. I'm a 35 year old in product marketing in the bay area, so this advice may or may not apply to you.
Most of this advice is not new, you may have seen it elsewhere. Well, HEED MY WORDS! You should take that advice.
Here are my don'ts of job hunting:
e: Here's the real #1 piece of advice because someone brought it up in the comments: Don't Not Have A Network. The main reason I had such a hard time was I moved to a new city where I didn't have a professional relationship with ANYONE. I think if you're applying without a friend on the inside, it reduces your odds by 80-90%, based on random factoids we've all seen that say 80% of jobs are never posted publicly.
I went to networking events and coffee meetups and blah blah blah, but COVID put a stop to that before I could make much progress. The biggest piece of advice (by far) is just to have a friend who can get you a job. But if you're reading this, you would have done that already if you could have.
Don't try to get by without doing the standard "best practice" stuff.
I spent a while thinking I could get away without making a customized resume for different jobs. I also thought I would probably have the right keywords naturally, and that I didn't have to worry about that either. WRONG. I wasted many weeks submitting poorly optimized resumes and getting few interviews.
What you should do is have at least one version of your resume customized for each job title you're applying to. That means if you're applying for Sr. Widget Fiddler and Director of Widget Fiddling, you need 2 versions.
Keyword optimize each resume version by copy-pasting 50+ job descriptions for that job's title into a tool like Voyant Tools, which will spit out all the most common words and phrases. Find the most frequent ones that seem important and relevant, and work them into your resume, even if it seems weird to refer to yourself as a "team player" or "entrepreneurial".
Don't be bad at interviewing, not even a little bit bad.
Being a good interviewee is a skill. Most of us aren't born with that skill, and most of us are rusty when it comes time to look for a job. I knew I wasn't great at interviewing, but I really didn't want to go through awkward practice interviews with friends, so I told myself people would understand why I was all nervous, and realize I was still super talented and experienced despite my 'rough edges'. WRONG. I blew it on a lot of interviews before admitting that I had to practice, a lot. I did a bunch of practice interviews, got feedback, and I even talked to an interview coach. The latter was expensive, but I think the dose of outside perspective really helped. YMMV.
I practiced enough that I started getting to final rounds instead of washing out in the first couple rounds. It made a huge difference. Practice.
Don't wing it during the interview.
For 'behavioral' questions (i.e. "tell me about a time when..." questions) everyone says you need to have multiple answers memorized for every major category of question. Ugh! So much work. Greatest weakness. Success story. Failure story. Conflict story. Collaboration story. YAWN. I thought I could come up with good answers on the spot. It's "supposed to be a conversation", right? WRONG. I blew it on a couple interviews before realizing I was coming across as both unprepared AND inexperienced.
Sit down and work out your bullet points for every answer, BEFORE you land an interview. Pain in the butt? Yes. But not as big a pain as getting an interview, blowing it, then ending up doing the work anyway.
Don't apply to old job listings.
If it's still up, they're still hiring, right? WRONG. I have found that job listings are good for about as long as fresh bread. You mostly want to apply the day they're posted, 2-3 days is OK, 5 days is pushing it, beyond that, it's literal trash. I started out applying to anything relevant that was less than a month old, and my app-to-interview yield was around 1%. Started applying to new listings exclusively, and my yield went to more like 3%. YMMV.
Don't apply to listings that aren't on the employer's own site.
It's become disturbingly common for 3rd-party sites to steal and re-post job listings they have nothing to do with. You click on a link on LinkedIn or Indeed, and you end up on Neuvoo or some random BS. Don't submit any of your info on those sites. Very often the jobs are expired already, but these 3rd-party scammers are still re-posting them to steal your info. Even if they're not expired, there's no reason to think they actually send your application to the employer.
If you land somewhere unexpected, go to the employer's actual careers section on their site and find the listing yourself. Otherwise you're just giving your info to someone to sell, and the employer probably never sees it. Please report these listings as you go.
Don't be too picky with job titles.
Unless your resume precisely "fits the profile" employers are looking for, you're going to have to apply a lot. I had to apply a lot. At first, I was exclusively applying to one title, because although I didn't "fit the profile" I didn't want to compromise. I ended up getting a really solid job with a different title, after I loosened my criteria JUST a tad.
Have a serious talk with yourself about how many months you're willing to apply before broadening your search, and don't talk yourself out of good jobs because they have the "wrong" title.
Don't be too loose with companies you apply to.
At a couple points in the process, I ended up with interviews at companies that I seriously didn't want to work for. I was playing the numbers game and I would apply to anything with the right title, even if I hadn't heard of the company. I figured if I got an interview, I would worry about the company later.
Difficulty: If you are on unemployment, this can lead to a sticky situation - if you turn down an offer, you legally can't collect unemployment anymore in many places. It's also pretty hard to justify to yourself turning down ANY interview if you actually need the money.
Have a loose idea of who the company is before applying, to avoid those awkward moments.
Don't stop applying until the ink is dry on your offer letter.
My advice is to apply to every suitable listing as soon as it's posted, which could be as many as 10-30 per day depending on your field and geography. If things are going well, you'll also have interviews going on during any given week, which also put heavy demands on your mental energy and prep time.
It is tempting to stop applying for jobs if you are doing multiple interviews and they seem to be going well. You need the time, and one of them has to work out, right? WRONG. It happened to me multiple times - I'd get further along in an interview process, I'd be focusing on prep, and I'd let my application routine slip. Bad idea. If your application pipeline runs dry, it can be another 2-6 weeks before the interviews start flowing again. ABA - always be applying.
Don't get your hopes up. (maybe the most important tip.)
Your mental resilience to rejection and your self-regard are finite resources. They are resources you need to conserve to maintain your overall mental health and good job-hunting habits. Job hunting can burn through these resources like Joe Exotic through a bag of meth. Don't be like me and get emotionally invested in any given job before you get an offer. Don't start picking out all the stuff you're going to buy with the new salary. Don't start thinking of what doors are going to open up for you with this step in your career. Don't mentally pick out outfits for your new commute. Just don't.
I consider myself a mentally tough person, so I should be able to handle the repeated rejection, right? WRONG. If you allow yourself to start caring about a job before you GET the job, you WILL be crushed to bits. Maybe not the first time, but after the 5th, or the 10th, it becomes hard to take.
To some of the newer job hunters I've seen on this sub: Caring about a job from the day you APPLY? Sheer lunacy. You shouldn't even remember where you applied by the time you go to bed that day.
Keep in mind: It's a numbers game. It's not personal. You WILL get the right job eventually, if you keep going. You have to maintain faith in yourself, but hold no hope for any particular job.
In emotional terms, treat it less like a poker game, (where any hand can be a big deal) more like a slot machine (where you care zero until you finally win). No matter how tough you think you are, take care to maintain your mental state, especially during COVID where so many aspects of life are also wearing down our mental health.
Don't be afraid to be a try-hard.
The role I finally got was based largely on a "take home project" used to demonstrate my working style. It was paid, also really long, the minimum suggested time was 10 hours. Usually I put 70% effort into trial projects, because I don't want to bust my ass for a throwaway, and I don't want to look desperate. My thinking is "Well, we're all professionals, so as long as I mention a few of the right things, they'll know we're on the same level, right?" WRONG.
On this one, I decided to go HAM on the project. All or nothing. I ended up putting over 20 hours into it, (the max time they suggested was 20) and came up with a total overkill amount of material, it was probably 20 pages worth, if not more. To give some idea, I spent like 4 hours just doing addressable market sizing, which everyone including me acknowledges is fairly pointless.
Part of the project was also to see how we communicate about our work - they put me on their company slack, so I logged onto it pretty much every day to update them on my progress. It was firmly in try-hard weirdo territory. But it worked!
So I guess my lesson from this is, if you're going to bother with these projects, be the one who turns in the blue ribbon material.
NB: Be aware of "free work" scams where they try to get you to do the actual job without hiring you for the job. If it's pertinent to the actual job and it's more than an hour or two of work, it should be paid. Unpaid trial projects that don't relate to the actual business are OK, but you'll have to decide for yourself how much time you're willing to put in for free.
Don't assume ***anything*** until it's final.
In 3 instances, I got much further than I expected in a hiring process, and in one I was blindsided by a rejection where I thought I was a shoo-in. #1, they interviewed me for the role (up to the final round) even though the job called for an actual engineer and I have zero engineering experience.
In #2, I blew an interview and got rejected. I knew exactly how I blew it, I got the yips and did poorly. So I sent an email reply explaining what I SHOULD have said, and that I really believed in the company's mission, and that I realize I was a poor interviewee, but I was working on it - they actually gave me another shot and I made it to the final round.
In the last unexpected twist story, they actually scheduled a final interview, then CANCELLED IT. I have been rejected for about a million jobs, but I've never been cancelled on. They said that instead of an interview, they would just review my trial project. I couldn't imagine cancelling an interview with someone you intend to hire, so I assumed this 'review' was just a consolation prize and the job was going to someone else. On the day the cancelled interview was meant to take place, they offered me the job. Huh???? Later that day I rode to heck on a flying pig and bought a snowcone there. But I also got a job.
On the other side of things, I was told directly I was the top candidate for a role, the only one who was really qualified, but because of COVID they were putting the role on hold. OK cool, I figured I was a shoo-in once they actually hired for it. Well, they re-listed the job about 45 days later. They didn't reach out to me. I messaged them. They told me I wasn't even going to get a phone screen for it. WTF? They lied to my face for no reason whatsoever? Yep. They did.
The lesson: Do not assume anything! ANYTHING!

<-- Previous thread
Overall summary ---f

Name	Club	Apps: starts (from the bench)	Minutes played	Goals	Assists	Clean sheets (GK only)	Note
Matej Kovar	Swindon Town (League One)	21 (0)	1890	0	0	1	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Joel Pereira	Huddersfield Town (Championship)	1 (0)	90	0	0	0
Jacob Carney	Brighouse Town (Northern Premier League)	4 (0)	360	0	0	1	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Jacob Carney	Portadown FC (NIFL Premiership)	4 (0)	360	0	0	0
Max Taylor	Kidderminster Harriers (National League North)	10 (0)	841	1	0	-
Di'Shon Bernard	Salford City (League Two)	14 (1)	1322	2	2	-
Teden Mengi	Derby County (Championship)	0 (0)	0	0	0	-
Diogo Dalot	AC Milan (Serie A)	12 (4)	1167	1	1	-
Ethan Laird	MK Dons (League One)	5 (1)	470	0	1	-
James Garner	Watford (Championship)	13 (8)	1248	0	1	-	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
James Garner	Nottingham Forest (Championship)	2 (0)	180	0	0	-
Dylan Levitt	Charlton Athletic (League One)	5 (0)	386	0	0	-	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Aliou Traore	SM Caen (Ligue 2)	4 (10)	531	0	0	-
Andreas Pereira	SS Lazio (Serie A)	4 (15)	570	1	2	-
Max Haygarth	Brentford B (-)	7 (4)	628	3	0	-	Loan ended: moved to Brentford on a permanent deal
Tahith Chong	Werder Bremen (Bundesliga)	5 (10)	534	1	2	-	Loan ended: recalled back to Man Utd
Tahith Chong	Club Brugge (Belgian Pro League)	1 (1)	121	1	2	-
Amad Diallo	Atalanta (Serie A)	0 (2)	41	0	0	-	Permanent deal to join Manchester United
Jesse Lingard	West Ham United (Premier League)	2 (0)	180	2	0	-
Facundo Pellistri	Deportivo Alavés (La Liga)	0 (0)	0	0	0	-

Teden Mengi (Derby County)

Teden has moved out on loan to Derby County. Was unused substitute in 0:3 loss against Rotherham United in Championship.
Wayne Rooney (United leg, also Derby County manager): "He is a fantastic young player - he is quick, and strong, he can play in a two or a three at the back. He is ready to come into the squad once the paperwork is done."
Ole Gunnar Solskjær (Manchester United manager and the greatest PE Teacher): “When you get to that age, sometimes there aren’t enough challenges in every game. It doesn’t prepare him enough for that physical striker or forward that he might meet in the first team. So to play in the Championship is a great challenge for him.”

James Garner (Nottingham Forest)

Played 90 minutes and was named MOTM in 2:1 win against Coventry City in Championship. Played 90 minutes in 3:0 win against Wycombe Wanderers in Championship.
Selected highlights:
Individual highlights vs Coventry City
Fantastic switch of play that resulted in a goal vs Wycombe Wanderers
WhoScored.com rating vs Coventry City: 7.2/10 (team average: 6.75) (3rd highest rating for Nottingham Forest)
Stats vs Coventry City:
Shots (on target): 2 (0) (joint most shots for Nottingham Forest)
Possession: 4.3%
Touches: 63 (2nd most touches for Nottingham Forest)
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 26/38 (68%)
Key passes: 0
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Dribbled past: 4 (most times dribbled past on the pitch)
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 3/5 (60%) (2nd most aerials won for Nottingham Forest)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 4/8 (50%) (most tackles won on the pitch)
Clearances: 1
Interceptions: 3
Dispossessed: 0
Errors: 0
Fouls: 1
Offsides: 0
Ole Gunnar Solskjær (Manchester United manager and the greatest PE Teacher) after loan was confirmed: "“One of the big learning points on your first loan is learning how to cope with the situation, learn in a different environment. Jimmy has played quite a bit. Lately, when the new manager came in, they felt - and we felt - it was more right for him to find somewhere else."
Leigh Curtis (Nottingham Post reporter) after game vs Coventry City: "Was in the wars on his debut, and could have nicked a goal from a corner in the first half. Caught the eye with one terrific 60-yard crossfield pass. 6/10."
Chris Hughton (Nottingham Forest manager) after game vs Coventry City: “We showed really good character. I enjoyed the first-half performance. We were good. Young James Garner, who came in for his debut, had an effect on the game. I'm really pleased. I think for for a young lad of 19, he showed maturity. Probably what he did show was that this is a lad that's that's played the first half of the season at a team that's in the top six in the division. He has played and been involved in 17 or 18 games and he's had 11 starts. When we took him on, we knew that he had half a season of experience at Watford and that can be just being involved in the squad. It was a gruelling game and I’m really pleased for him. And I thought his contribution was really good. He’s a lad that by the time he finishes this season will have had great experience at two Championship clubs."
Dave Garner (James' dad) on Twitter after game vs Coventry City: "Thankyou all for the support shown by the fans. . Don't forget hes still only 19. Hes still learning his trade and will make some mistakes along the way . Great to see the fans the team and the club welcoming James to Forrest. ."
Fans' opinion after game vs Coventry City:
“I'm in love with Garner already. Made a 40 yard pass FORWARD that actually went to one of OUR players. Not seen many of those lately. Nice to have a player like Garner for certain games who can play deep, but still making the right forward pass. Some games you want Yates there, but Garner seems a good option going off this evening.” ~KentuckyCandy on /nffc
“Really impressed with Garner, he has that swagger about him when he has the ball, something we've not had in years in midfield and despite being a skinny looking lad, he seems more than up for a tussle in midfield, winning more than his fair share.” ~It's Baggio on LTLF Forest Forum
“James Garner 7/10 a decent debut, and first half he was a delight to watch, pinging the ball around with a lot of accuracy. Looked tired and a bit shell-shocked over the final 20 minutes: probably not used to playing for a side who sit back and let the opposition bum them.” ~Captain Sinister on LTLF Forest Forum
“Garner had a good start to his #NFFC loan, was heavily involved during the first half - helping to dictate the play with forward passes into wide areas to start attacks. Something we've been lacking.” ~@HenshawAnalysis on Twitter
“James Garner was as good as the Rockford Files (One for the kids) in that first half for #nffc, thanks #mufc hope he keeps up the good work.” ~@halftimepies on Twitter
WhoScored.com rating vs Wycombe Wanderers: 7.2/10 (team average: 7.1)
Stats vs Wycombe Wanderers:
Shots (on target): 3 (0)
Possession: 4.9%
Touches: 51
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 25/34 (74%)
Key passes: 2 (joint 2nd most key passes on the pitch)
Dribbles: 0
Dribbled past: 1 (joint 2nd most dribbled past for Nottingham Forest)
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 4/6 (67%) (joint 2nd most aerials won for Nottingham Forest)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 3/4 (75%) (joint most tackles won on the pitch)
Clearances: 1
Interceptions: 0
Dispossessed: 0
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Leigh Curtis (Nottingham Post reporter): "The midfield was largely bypassed in the first half as Wycombe wanted to get the ball forward quickly and pick-up second balls. But came into his own after the break and played a key role in the third goal. 7/10"
Fans' opinion after game vs Wycombe Wanderers:
“Garners passing and pressing were good 2nd half yesterday, played a big part in the 3rd goal. He was good in both halves yesterday, his passing alone should mean he's the first choice in that position that's something we have lacked all season,” ~mr ron on Vital Forest Forum
“I was surprised we got him as I had heard he was a really good prospect before the season. Did wonder if throwing him into our clusterfuck would screw him over but he’s been a calming presence” ~funkmightfracture on /nffc
“If he continues to play like he has so far, I'd love to see him back at the club next season. Looks like an excellent signing so far.” ~Ashley on LTLF Forest Forum
“Garner has had two excellent games so far. Already looks a player I’d like to get back next season. Let’s remember he’s 19 though and will inevitably make a mistake or have a bad patch. Stick by him. The class is clear to see.” ~@RedDogRoberts on Twitter
“Garner had solid game in the heart of the #NFFC MID. As a DM in a 4-2-3-1, he was pivotal in getting on the ball and spraying it wide. He's really helped us to get on the ball, and get us going forward.” ~@HenshawAnalysis on Twitter

Tahith Chong (Club Brugge)

Played 72 minutes and scored a goal and got an assist in 6:1 win against Olsa Brakel in Croky Cup. Came on from the bench and played 49 minutes in 2:0 win against Waasland-Beveren in Belgian Pro League.
Selected highlights:
Assist vs Olsa Brakel
Goal scored vs Olsa Brakel
Own goal after Chong's cross from the corner vs Olsa Brakel Assist vs Waasland-Beveren
Ole Gunnar Solskjær (Manchester United manager and the greatest PE Teacher) after the loan move: "For Tahith, it didn’t really work out the way we wanted, but still he’s had some exposure. Let’s hope they kick on now.”
Philippe Clement (Club Brugge manager) after game vs Olsa Brakel: "This was a positive evening for us. Chong and Dirar made their debut eventhough they had just arrived. It's nice for a player like Chong to be off the mark right away. It's clear that he is physically not at his top, but he already showed some interesting things. I saw right away that he has a good solid technique and he picks up things quite easily. It's my job to let him player better than when he arrived and who knows, perhaps he stays a bit longer than six months."
Johan Boskamp (ex-footballer and sports commentator) after game vs Olsa Brakel: "He played together with Noa Lang in the Feyenoord youth team. Chong used to be even more highly regarded than Lang. They are similar types. They both left, one for Manchester United and the other for Ajax. At the time, Feyenoord did everything they could to keep Chong. In the long run you can't compete with the amounts from England."
Fans' opinion after game vs Olsa Brakel:
“I think Chong will be strong enough for our pintjesliga and a good sub/2nd option.” ~sILAZS on clubbrugge
“Tbh I think in a bit of time, Chong could become one of our star players, he is someone I really enjoyed watching before he came to Brugge, he is one of United's top talent, so I think give him a bit of time, nd he'll thrive, seeing that he already speaks Dutch and is Dutch so he is already a bit settled, no real homesick problems,etc.” ~michelhallal10 on clubbrugge
“Still have to wait and see, but think Bruges is the perfect environment for Chong to grow in.” ~@DS_Tom14 on Twitter
“That Chong leaves a good first impression. Looks like he has some real action” ~@Steffmeister91 on Twitter
“Showed some flashes already. But was hardly ever picked up properly.” ~@cycloprins on Twitter
WhoScored.com rating vs Waasland-Beveren: 7.6/10 (team average: 7.09) (3rd best rating for Club Brugge)
Stats vs Waasland-Beveren:
Shots (on target): 3 (2) (2nd most shots on target on the pitch)
Possession: 2.6%
Touches: 44
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 25/27 (93%) (best passing accuracy on the pitch)
Key passes: 3 (2nd most key passes for Club Brugge)
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 1/3 (33%)
Dribbled past: 0
Aerials): 0
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 2/2 (100%) (joint 2nd most successful tackles for Club Brugge)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 1
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 0
Offsides: 0
Fans' opinion after game vs Waasland-Beveren:
“Chong thought he was still playing against Olsa Brakel ...” ~@DesmetJorgen on Twitter
“Not convinced by Chong. Absolutely not.” ~@club_ftw on Twitter
“#chong... what a waste of money.” ~@Niwreson1891 on Twitter
“Chong shows beautiful things at times” ~@MarcWillaert on Twitter

Ethan Laird (MK Dons)

Was not selected in matchday squad due to being cup-tied in 0:3 loss against Sunderland in EFL Trophy - Play Offs. Played 90 minutes and got a yellow card in 2:2 draw against Sunderland in League One.
Selected highlights:
Not quick enough to close down a player, which results in a goal conceded vs Sunferland
Good dribbling with the ball for the goal vs Sunderland
Big chance missed vs Sunderland
WhoScored.com rating vs Sunderland: 6.9/10 (team average: 6.82)
Stats vs Sunderland:
Shots (on target): 3 (0) (joint 2nd most shots for MK Dons)
Possession: 3.6%
Touches: 60
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 20/26 (77%)
Key passes: 3 (joint most key passes for MK Dons)
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials won/Aerial attempted (success %): 4/7 (57%)
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Clearances: 4 (joint 2nd most clearances for MK Dons)
Interceptions: 4 (2nd most interceptions on the pitch)
Dispossessed: 2 (joint 2nd most times dispossessed for MK Dons)
Errors: 0
Fouls: 2 (joint 2nd most fouls for MK Dons)
Offsides: 0
Toby Lock (MK Citizen reporter) after game vs Sunderland: "7/10. His attacking game improved hugely, and with a bit more confidence would have rounded Burge when the keeper came rushing out. Defensively still naive at times."
Russell Martin (MK Dons manager) after game vs Sunderland: "Ethan Laird was brilliant [against Sunderland]. The difference between him in his first game and today is miles apart."
Fans' opinion after game vs Sunderland:
“He's still in his raw form and just needs to be refined. You can see he has the talent and potential but needs to improve in all areas. I find he sometimes makes the wrong decisions, there will be an easy option and he'll take the harder route to try and show off (e.g. taking on a defender instead of making a pass to someone in space). Sometimes it comes off. At the moment the experienced pros are getting the better of him and he's still getting used to the physicality, but it's clear he's a cut above this level and has a big future. Some Man Utd fans think he's ready to be their first choice RB but I don't think he's ready for that, needs another loan next season at a Championship club. He needs to work on his finishing too. He's popping up in dangerous areas and getting more opportunities on goal than your average wing back/full back.” ~Filthier on The Concrete Roundabout Forum
“I like him. Can see he's desperate to do well and cares about performing. A problem with some loans especially from bigger clubs is the lack of commitment to really do well for the team as opposed to wanting to do well for themselves. That's easily done. Ethan isn't like that. He's still raw and got a lot to improve on but you can see his quality in more areas than his flaws. He hasn't got a finish on him, which could be worked on but he's class.” ~Alby39 on The Concrete Roundabout Forum
“I got a message from a Sunderland fan last night really complementing our right winger, and I feel that that's how I'm looking at his strengths too. His defensive and positioning needs work, but going forwards he's arguably one of our more threatening players. He's 19 and will obviously improve massively from what we're seeing now but for me he's falling into the loanee trap of we're somewhat expecting the finished article, not the beginning of a successful career.” ~DippyDon on The Concrete Roundabout Forum
“Personally think he’s added at lot to our attacking threat. Fast, tricky and willing to take on his man. Defensively and positionally, think there is a lot of work needed. Leaving us pretty vulnerable at the back. Got the making of a very decent RWB though, once his defensive side of the game improves.” ~LouisMKD on The Concrete Roundabout Forum
“Phenomenal. Had a golden opportunity to score but other than that, class as per.” ~@Alfiemkd on Twitter

Aliou Traore (SM Caen)

Was not selected in matchday squad in 1:1 draw against Valenciennes in Ligue 2. Was unused substitute in 0:0 draw against Amiens in Ligue 2.

Jacob Carney (Portadown FC)

Played 90 minutes in 0:3 loss against Linfield FC in NIFL Premiership. Played 90 minutes in 1:1 draw against Coleraine in NIFL Premiership.
Selected highlights:
1st goal conceded vs Linfield FC
2nd goal conceded vs Linfield FC
3rd goal conceded vs Linfield FC
Good save to deny Linfield another goal
Save after long range effort vs Linfield FC
(Great free kick save vs Linfield FC](https://youtu.be/Y7VTuHnrMOo?t=469)
Goal conceded vs Coleraine
Poorly taken goalkick results in a chance for the opposition vs Coleraine
Save after a cross that turned into shot vs Coleraine
Fans' opinion after game vs Linfield FC:
“The wee keeper done well” ~@AaronMccoo on Twitter

Di'Shon Bernard (Salford City)

Played 90 minutes for Salford City Reserves in 0:2 loss against Huddersfield Town Reserves in Central League.

Jesse Lingard (West Ham United)

Played 90 minutes and scored two goals in 3:1 win against Aston Villa in Premier League. Played 90 minutes in 0:0 draw against Fulham in Premier League.
Selected highlights:
1st goal scored vs Aston Villa
2nd goal scored vs Aston Villa
WhoScored.com rating vs Aston Villa: 9.0/10 (team average: 6.96) (MOTM)
Stats vs Aston Villa:
Shots (on target): 6 (3) (most shots and shots on target on the pitch)
Possession: 5% (3rd most possession for West Ham)
Touches: 65 (2nd most touches for West Ham)
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 40/44 (91%) (2nd best passing accuracy on the pitch)
Key passes: 2
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 2/6 (33%)
Dribbled past: 0
Aerials: 0
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/1 (100%)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 0
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 3
Offsides: 1
David Moyes (football genius and West Ham manager) after game vs Aston Villa: "It’s a great start for Jesse Lingard and a great start for us because the confidence it gives us seeing people come in and make a difference and help the team is huge. People will be thinking ‘he can play for us and he’s ready to go into the team’ and to get two goals is great for Jesse. You’ve got to remember he was an England international not so long ago. He’s still young enough to get back to that and I tell you what, he showed some qualities tonight. I think people felt they could give him the ball and trust him with it, whether he was going to turn or play one-touch or make things happen. We know he has a goal threat about him as well and he was capable of adding to the team. There are a lot of people who are pushing hard to make the England squad for the Euros and why shouldn't Jesse push if he's in the form he is in tonight? If he keeps playing as well as he did he will do a brilliant job for West Ham and if he keeps going like that then he'll get back into the England squad. I hope he can get back to that standard."
Toby Cudworth (90min writer) after game vs Aston Villa: "9/10 - A superb performance on his debut, shaking off any ring rust with a terrific two-goal showing. Plenty left in the tank, too, which is testament to his tremendous fitness."
Fans' opinion after game vs Aston Villa:
“What a debut for Lingard. Even without the goals I was impressed with his workrate, link ups and his pace. But scoring 2 goals was especially a much needed bonus. He was a deserving winner for MOTM. He was so good he even made Benrahma have his best game in a West Ham shirt!” ~funky chicken on Knees up Mother Brown Forum
“The most notable thing for me was, with Lingard buzzing around in the hole playing little triangles and ghost past ppl. One of the comments about Lingard from people at Man U and England was that he is the “glue” that makes things work at the front. He can pass, dribble and shoot. His positioning is intelligent and astute.” ~Ding on Knees up Mother Brown Forum
“Lingard, oof, you can just see the quality. Amazing how quickly and how well he linked with Micky and Benrahma. He looked like one of those players who makes everyone else around them play better. Dimitri Lingard!” ~Eric_Hitchmough87 on /Hammers
“When Lingard did that high press in the first few minutes, I was immediately impressed by his stride. So easy. So fast. He finds space, feeds to his teammates, and understands the importance of the first touch.” ~twowaysplit on /Hammers
“Love Lingard. You can just see the level up and why he has all those medals and England caps. Going to be brilliant for Bowen, Fornals and Benny to learn from in next 6months. Class Class Class.” ~DMONK1974 on * In The Brown Stuff Forum*
WhoScored.com rating vs Fulham: 6.3/10 (team average: 6.59) (3rd worst rating for West Ham)
Stats vs Fulham:
Shots: 0
Possession: 3.8%
Touches: 44
Accurate passes/Total passes (success %): 29/34 (85%) (2nd best passing accuracy for West Ham)
Key passes: 1
Dribbles won/Dribbles attempted (success %): 0/1 (0%)
Dribbled past: 1
Aerials: 0
Tackles won/Tackles attempted (success %): 1/2 (50%)
Clearances: 0
Interceptions: 0
Corners (accurate %): 1 (100%)
Dispossessed: 1
Errors: 0
Fouls: 3
Offsides: 1
Dan Clubbe (Read Sport reporter) after game vs Fulham: "6/10. Couldn’t emulate his midweek masterclass but was a threat with his direct play and willingness to run beyond the defence."
Fans' opinion after game vs Fulham:
“Lingard was working hard but certainly didn't do anything remotely effective. Maybe he's not 100% fit himself as he hasn't played too many games this season. But I get why Moyes kept him on as he cant play in the cup, so you may as well use him to the max. ” ~funky chicken * on *Knees up Mother Brown Forum
“Lingard was a shade of what we saw on Wednesday night but did play the pass of the game which Soucek should of buried.” ~steps on Knees up Mother Brown Forum
“Fulham defended intelligently and cut off the inside pass, so Lingard struggled to get into it” ~exploder98 on In The Brown Stuff Forum
“Lingard was blowing out his arse for for the last 10 of the first half and probably 20/25 of the second.” ~Graza on Knees up Mother Brown Forum
“Lingard gives a 9/10 midweek. Complete passenger today.” ~@CampyWHU on Twitter

Facundo Pellistri (Deportivo Alavés)

Was unused substitute in 1:0 win against Real Valladolid in La Liga.
Alfonso Fernandez de Troconiz (Deportivo Alavés president): "We have full confidence in him and this is why we really fought to get him in on loan. We really think he can contribute a lot to us. We are fully aware he is a young player and he is beginning his European career and he will need to improve. But we think we are an ideal team for him to improve with because Alavés is a small club and I think this could favour his improvement. We are convinced that he is going to help us have a magnificent second part of the season."

Joel Pereira (Huddersfield Town)

Was not selected in matchday squad in 1:1 draw against Luton Town in Championship.

Diogo Dalot (AC Milan)

Was unused substitute in 4:0 win against Crotone in Serie A.

Andreas Pereira (SS Lazio)

Was unused substitute in 1:0 win against Cagliari in Serie A.

Next up

February 9th:
At 7 PM Laird's MK Dons play Rochdale AFC in League One. Bernard's Salford City plays Cambridge United in League Two.
At 7:30 PM Lingard' West Ham plays 20 times Premier League winner Manchester United in FA Cup.
At 7:45 PM Taylor's Kidderminster Harriers play Boston United in National League North. Carney's Portadown FC plays Larne in NIFL Premiership.
February 10th:
At 7:45 PM Chong's Club Brugge plays Royal Antwerp in Coupe de Belgique.
At 8 PM Traore's SM Caen plays PSG in Coupe de France.
February 13th:
At 12:30 PM Garner's Nottingham Forest plays AFC Bournemouth in the Championship.
At 3 PM Joel's Huddersfield Town plays Wycombe Wanderers in the Championship. Laird's MK Dons play Hull City in League One. Bernard's Salford City plays Bradford City in League Two. Taylor's Kidderminster Harriers play Darlington in National League North. Carney's Portadown FC plays Cliftonville in NIFL Premiership.
At 6 PM Traore's SM Caen plays Niort in Ligue 2.
At 7:45 PM Dalot's AC Milan plays Spezia in Serie A.
At 8 PM Pellistri's Deportivo Alavés plays FC Barcelona in La Liga.
February 14th:
At 5:15 PM Chong's Club Brugge plays Charleroi in Belgian Pro League.
At 7:45 PM Andreas' SS Lazio plays Inter in Serie A.
^{*All times are GMT.}