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Friday, July 10, 2015

Reta and Charlie have put a gate across John's property with "No Trespassing" signs.

Tyler is taking care of two of John's dogs (Pipsqueak and Madeline) in the trailer he lives in with his girlfriend, and two of Tyler's daughters.

Tyler has to scrounge to get money to take the dogs to the vet.

10AM: Probate Hearing to request permanent guardianship over John's mother.

Tyler wants to go to to the hearing to petition the probate judge to intervene.

Tyler has a bunch of things at Johns ($25,000.00 worth) at John's house. (Tools, spray paint, tea pot, the swing set, lawnmower, welder, masonry stuff.)

Tyler has had a falling out with his partner at the Tattoo parlor, and needs his tools.

Tyler shows Brian a bill of sale for 2 x school buses and an 18 wheeler trailer. Tyler says these belong to him.

Probate Court: Tyler is sitting off to the side. Brian wants to introduce himself to Reta and Charlie.

Reta and Charlie Lawrence are at Probate Court.

Brian introduces himself, and asks if he can talk to Reta afterwards.

Reta says Tyler's been causing nothing but trouble, and Reta and Charlie are leaving the next day.

Reta, Charlie, Tyler, Boozer Downs, and Judge Jerry Powell meet in Chambers. (Note: Judge Powell is one of the judges who defied the Supreme Court decision to give marriage licenses to same sex couples.)

Tyler asks the Judge for his own things. Judge Powell explains that the hearing isn't about Tyler's stuff. It's about guardianship. Judge Powell says Tyler can take it up with Reta to get his things back.

Reta says she can't talk to Brian now, but asks if John told Brian where his money is hid.

Brian meets with John's attorney, Boozer Downs:

Boozer says John told him what he wanted to do with his assets. But Boozer can't say what that is.

Boozer says John discussed suicide.

Boozer had suggested John get a nonprofit or historic trust to take care of the property, maze and the dogs. John replied that he spent too much money, and the person who took over would just sell it.

Boozer won't say what John's assets are. He gets cryptic. Boozer doesn't know if John took care of his assets. John had told Boozer "The form" of what he was going to do with his assets. Boozer won't explain "the form." John had talked to Boozer about being un-banked.

Boozer suggests that the hunt for John's assets is literally a "treasure hunt."

Boozer suggests Brian talk to Faye Gamble, and invites Faye over to speak to Brian.

Faye and Brian go back to her office at Town Hall

Faye says she met John when she became town clerk ten years ago.

Faye tells Brian about the night John killed himself and her nightmares.

Faye will not show Brian the list of people John wanted contacted.

Faye is vague with Brian about instructions John gave, and "certain things" John wanted her to find.

John told Faye were to find "certain things," but Faye won't say what those "certain things" are.

Faye says that John had previously told her about wanting to leave assets to Tyler and his brother. But that John didn't say anything about that the night he killed himself.

Later, Faye lies to Reta and Charlie and tells them she has not talked to Brian.

Faye will not give John's contact list or instructions list to Reta and Charlie who find this suspicious.

Mid July, 2015

Approximate: Olin Long has not spoken to John for a year. When he calls the house phone number (that the McLemore's have had since the 1960s) is disconnected). Olin googles "John McLemore obituary" and learns of John's death via a condolence web site, six months ago.

Tyler steals John's truck from John's property. Tyler takes John's laptop, and every piece of paperwork he can find down to birth certificates and deeds, and John's Grandfather's railroad stock papers, John's two vehicles.

In John's house, Tyler found John's "people to contact" list. Fifteen names and numbers on the list. Reta's name, Woodstock Town Hall, Vet, and Lawyer. Tyler's name is not on the list. There's a group of names at the top. Each of those names is a mystery to Brian. Of the first seven names at the top of the list, not one of them showed up at John's funeral.

Tyler posts John's truck on Facebook, and sells it. Someone signed John's name on the title in July, and sold the truck for $3,300.00 to someone who lives near the Mississippi state line. Tyler told the buyer that his step-dad was John B. McLemore

Tyler posts John's Mercedes on Facebook and sells it for $900.00

Less than a week after Reta Takes Ownership of the Property

Tyler notes that Reta has sold all his tools, John's clocks, and cleaned the place out.

Tyler has been looking for the hidden treasure, looking underneath John's house, etc. According to Tyler, John showed Tyler gold bars and was buying gold at 30k per clip. "We got to find it, Brian..."

End of July, 2015

Tyler has been using a metal detector to search the property. Tyler says it looks like the movie "Holes" on John's property.

Reta's neice checks on the property and sees there has been a break-in at the shop.

Reta's neice calls Officer Jerry Lightsey who says that he's not going to come over or file a report, and Mary Grace should be calling, not Reta's neice... The next day:

Tyler removes the 18-wheeler and two school buses from the McLemore property.

Tyler says he showed the police his bills of sale and asked them if he could take the buses and trailer and the police said yes, he could take them.

Tyler calls Brian while he's doing this. The buses and trailers are towed out. They are filled with lumber, a clawfoot tub and wood stove. Tyler wants to build a house on his grandmother's property.

A friend of Reta's calls her to tell her Tyler took the buses. The next day:

Reta and Charlie drive to Woodstock and case Miss Hick's house, taking pictures of the buses and trailers in Miss Hicks's yard.

July 22: Reta's Photo of Property Destruction

July 22: Buses and Trailer on Tyler's Grandmother's property

That same day, warrant is issued for Tyler's arrest for trespassing.

Later, Tyler leaves a message on Reta's answering machine saying, "If you don't quit driving by my house, and harassing me, I am going to fill your ass with buckshot."

Reta visits The Woodstock Police in person.

Jerry Lightsey says, "You have got to stop driving by Miss Hicks's house! You have got to stop harassing him, or I will arrest you!"

Reta says, "So, Tyler can steal Mary Grace's shit, but I can't drive up and down a public road?!"

Jerry Lightsey says, "Lady, you gotta back off!"

Reta has pressed charges for trespassing, for theft of the trailer and buses.

Tyler emails a photo of the "people to contact" list to Brian. Fifteen names and numbers on the list. Reta's name, Woodstock Town Hall, Vet, and Lawyer. Tyler's name is not on the list. There's a group of names at the top. Each of those names is a mystery to Brian. Of the first seven names at the top of the list, not one of them showed up at John's funeral.

Tyler and Allen Bearden talk the day before Brian meets Allen. Allen buys off on how fishy stuff has played out.

Brian meets with #4 on the list: Allen Bearden in Pell City, AL

Allen says that Horologists experienced a heyday in the nineties.

Allen says that John was out of the business in 2012, when they met. But John helped Allen fix an Elliott Grandfather clock.

Allen says John was a master, and explains about the Elliott Grandfather clock. John had an reputation for working on high-end, world-class clocks. John was the best.

Allen had tried to get John help, and invited him over to get out on the river. John never came. Could not get away from his mother for that long.

Allen says it is fishy and suspicious that he was not notified and he isn't sure why Faye would want to micro-manage and control the situation. Allen suggests Brian call the other people on the list. Allen says those people are on the list for a reason.

Later in the Summer, 2015

Approximate: Kendall Burt buys all of the McLemore property from Mary Grace.

Brian talks to #6 on the list: Bill Maier.

Utah Bill is a friend and clock customer of John's for decades. Bill lives in Utah in a house that is more like a museum than a house. Bill thinks it is so sad to hear that John finally did it. So incredibly sad.

Brian talks to a Pacific Northwest friend who says that he only heard about John's death from Faye, after the funeral.

Brian talks to Duncan Greig, a respected clock restorer from Tunbridge, England. John and Duncan had never met, but developed a friendship over the phone, and via letters.

Brian talks to Tom Moore - John's Chemistry Professor in College, and a lifelong friend. Faye called Tom after the funeral.

Tom Moore show Brian the ingenuous Sun Dial that John made him for his birthday, 20 years late. Tom Moore starts to cry.

Another Photo of the Sun Dial

We don't know if Brian talked to the Birmingham, Alabama mechanic on the list.

From all these conversations, Brian learns that: John helped one of his friends rebuild a clock from WWII/Greiling Germany; John worked on a clock once to the point of tears; John worked on a clock for seven years; John could recite Poe from memory; John told some of them he was running down his savings; John told some of them he had converted his money to gold and hid his money; John talked to some of them about a will.

All John's friends feel like someone is taking advantage of the situation. They speculate about the Reta & Charlie, Faye, and the Goodsons. Brian thinks that if the Goodsons had the gold they would tell him. John's friends feel like someone is getting away with something.

Brian visits another friend of John's named Bill (Alabama Bill) who lives in a suburban house near Bibb County.

Brian interviewing Alabama Bill

Alabama Bill is a different person, not Utah Bill. Alabama Bill is a longtime customer of John's

John restored multiple clocks in Alabama Bill's house. They are works of art: Turtle Clock, Mystery Clock. Many clocks. Bill begins to cry.

Houdin clock from Alabama Bill's

Clock that looks like a chair from Alabama Bill's

Turtle clock from Alabama Bill's

Woman hiding the time with a sheet - Clock from Alabama Bill's

Clock on table from Alabama Bill's

Array of clocks at Alabama Bill's

Inset of clocks at Alabama Bill's

A close-up of a clock from Alabama Bill's

Boat clock that John worked on for Alabama Bill

Just after the trespassing charge, but before the felony charges, Brian visits Tyler.

Brian tells Tyler that if he ever finds any gold, not to tell him, because it would be public.

August, 2015: Cheryl and Jeff's 12th Anniversary.

End of August, 2015

At Green Pond Cemetary, dJohn's grave had been without a tomb stone for "a couple of months"

Tyler made one out of part of a concrete bench from his mother's yard.

Tombstone Inlay || Grave Picture || Grave Picture || Grave Picture

SeptembeOctober 2015

Brian is at the Best Western and runs into Reta.

Brian slips a note under her door. Reta, and Charlie and two other cousins of John's all meet with Brian in the Hotel Common Area

Charlie thinks it is a terrible idea to talk to Brian who is just trying to pit them against Tyler.

Reta and Charlie call Tyler a con man and note that the buses and 18-wheeler were on John's property before Tyler's bill of sale.

Brian asks about the text message from John. Reta thinks it was sent by Tyler, from John's computer.

Faye Gamble has not shown Reta and Charlie the list of instructions from John.

Boozer Downs was supposed to take a written statement from Faye about what John said the night he committed suicide, but he still hasn't done it. Reta and Charlie are suspicious of Boozer.

Reta and Charlie think that Boozer is in cahoots with Tyler.

Brian asks where Mary Grace is and Reta won't say.

Tyler suggests that Boozer is in cahoots with Reta and Charlie to suppress the will and steal the gold.

Boozer Downs emails Brian asking to retract his interview:

It got ugly in the hearing. I'm concerned that I should not have spoken to you on the recording

Boozer says he did not hide the will, because there was no will to hide.

One of John's friends emails Brian and says, "Maybe I knew too much."

Allen Bearden feels like someone has taken John's gold, and somebody got it, and there is a cover-up happening. Allen thinks someone has the gold.

Brian visits Faye Gamble a second time:

Faye insists she called everyone before the funeral, right there from City Hall.

Brian gives Faye an out and tells her maybe she was too traumatized. Faye insists that that wasn't it, and she called everyone on the list, before the funeral.

Faye says she has finally given the list to Reta and Charlie.

Faye says Reta is lying, and she never told them she didn't speak to Brian.

During this second interview, Reta reveals that John told her that his gold was wrapped in a towel in the freezer.

Fay says she told the police that John said there was gold in a towel in the freezer.

Faye said she didn't look in the freezer, suspects Tyler, and knows things she can't talk about.

Brian visits K-3 Lumber and talks to Kabrahm:

Records the story in Kabrahm's own words, for the podcast.

Brian said he talked to Kabrahm about a year after his first visit to Alabama. (This places the Kabrahm interview in SeptembeOctober of 2015.)

Approximate: Brian interviews Cheryl Acker Dodson and Jeff Dodson.

October 10, 2015

Brian gets married

wedding photo || wedding photo

October 17, 2015

Brian gets an email from Olin Long, who was not on the contact list. Olin Long would like to listen to the radio episode when it airs. The two arrange an interview.

October, 2015

Approximate: Tyler gets a temporary job at a factory in Georgia.

Approximate: Mary Grace goes on a River Boat trip, and a trip to Gatlinburg, TN. Mary Grace has gained 18 pounds.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Approximate (Four months after John died): Woodstock Town Hall: Tyler's Court Hearing for misdemeanor trespassing for taking the buses and 18-wheel trailer.

Reta and Charlie are present. A special prosecutor is called in from out of town. And Tyler's attorney is here from Bessemer.

Tyler is not present because of the job in Georgia. Tyler is slapped with a Failure to Appear.

Town Hall Parking Lot: Reta and Brian talk. Reta thinks Tyler has been taking advantage of 89-year-old Mary Grace.

Reta has found one bank account with 98 dollars in it. Reta thinks that the 18-wheeler and buses could have helped pay for Mary Grace's care.

Brian refers to Mary Grace as John's legal heir when court records show that everything was in Mary Grace's name and John was Mary Grace's heir.

Reta thinks that John was forced by Tyler to drink cyanide... was cheered on. She told the police she thinks they dropped the ball.

Reta speculates that John and Tyler had an argument. Reta thinks that Tyler is a thief who has ransacked the house.

Reta has tried to track John's gold by calling the mint and the US Treasury.

Reta has John's baby book that includes: Report Cards, Birth Certificate, Family Pictures, and Class Photos. She offers to make copies for Brian.

Reta tells John about Mary Grace's weight gain and trips and how Mary Grace is doing better than she had under John's care. Reta says John had boarded up the windows in Mary Grace's room, and Mary Grace has lost ten years.

Reta is mad at herself that she didn't put two and two together.

Mid November, 2015

Approximate: Brian interviews Mr. Not-A-Good-Person. His wife looks over the shoulder. The man says that John wanted a partner.

Brian asks if the relationship was sexual and the man says it wasn't sexual, but John might have wanted to.

There is speculation that Mr. Not-A-Good-Person is Tyler's father, Rodney, due to shared mannerisms.

A grand jury has indicted Tyler on a felony count for theft of the 18-wheeler, and the buses full of lumber and antiques. Exact date of the indictment unclear

Approximate: Reta has asked the police to look into John's missing truck and Mercedes. The Woodstock police came back to Reta and told her that "Everything was fine. The vehicles belong to Tyler."

End of November 2015

Tyler goes to pick up his youngest daughter and the girl's mother won't give Tyler his daughter. Tyler breaks down the door, and the police are called. A gun is involved, and Tyler is arrested for "armed burglary."

Approximate: Tyler lures an electrician to the house he's building from John's lumber and trailer.

Tyler threatens to cut off his fingers for stealing his grandfather's guns.

Tyler beat the guy up. And didn't cut his fingers off.

Mary Grace's 89th Birthday

Mid December 2015

Brian interviews Olin Long for five hours in a hotel in Birmingham, Alabama (and six hours the next day.) Total 11 hours.

December 15, 2015

Trial underway for Ervin Heard

December 17, 2015

Former Bibb County Deputy Ervin Heard found guilty on six of 12 counts. Heard was found guilty of sexual misconduct, sex abuse, human trafficking, intimidation, unlawful imprisonment and harassment.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Tyler's mother messages Brian on Facebook and says Tyler will be in jail on Monday. Brian calls and talks to Tyler's maternal grandmother, Miss Irene Hicks, since Tyler's mother isn't up to talking.

Tyler has nine felony charges against him.

Tyler has a fourth baby on the way with his current girlfriend, Cami.

Tyler's mother, Maya, is supported by Tyler's grandmother.

Tyler and his kids and Cami are living in a half-finished house in Miss Hicks's yard.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Tyler has a court date for the armed burglary charge. Tyler pays his $1,000.00 bond and leaves.

Tyler's forgery and theft case are scheduled to go to trial in early summer 2017.

January 2016

Reta:

Charlie's father has moved in with Reta and Charlie, after surgery.

Reta calls Brian, and they talk for three house. Reta is trying to get some information.

Reta isn't sure who she can trust and who she can't trust at the Woodstock Police.

Reta has discovered that Tyler has sold John's Truck and Mercedes. The State has revoked the title to the truck. The man who bought the truck agrees to give the truck to Reta.

Reta believes someone in the police department is feeding Tyler information. Reta has not told the police that she's uncovered the sales of these vehicles, because she thinks the police are feeing Tyler information.

Brian tells Reta how Tyler sees her. Brian finds that in contrast with how Reta comes off to him.

Brian calls the Woodstock police and eventually visits Woodstock:

Officer Lightsey refuses to speak to Brian.

Police Chief Len Price says that Tyler was told he couldn't take anything from the house until matters were settled in Probate Court.

Police Chief Len Price says that the town of Woodstock had to pay to clean up the suicide scene.

Police Chief Len Price says that the cops didn't find any money or gold in John's house.

Brian learns that Jerry Lightsey is a family friend of Tyler's. Lightsey is especially good friends with Tyler's mother, Maya. And comes to Miss Hicks's house regularly.

Tyler gave Officer Jerry Lightsey a tour of the house he is building using items he took from John's property.

Jerry Lightsey was winking and implying that the trailer was a "different trailer" not John's trailer.

Maya tells Brian that Jerry Lightsey is stressed over Tyler's legal situation, and that Jerry is eagerly waiting to retire in 2017. Jerry is tired of having to choose between his friends and his job.

February 2016

Reta says it was "during this time" that she "spilled her guts" to Brian Reed.

February 16: Reta and Charlie meet with the ADA in Centerville. The ADA wants Reta to return for the grand jury on February 24.

February 24: At the grand jury, Tyler is charges with the theft of two vehicles, two buses, one trailer and the lumber stored in the trailer.

During this trip, Reta makes the decision to sell the McLemore house and property that had been in Mary Grace's family for over 100 years. According to Reta: There was no way I could stop the trespassing and vandalizing of the house and property. Every time I went over there, it was another window broken, another broken lock, just pure meanness! We were taking one step forward and three steps backwards. I had dealt with the odor, the heat, the cold, the dampness, dead rats, and destruction long enough. I really felt that I would get a call any day telling me the house had been burned down. I just could not take it anymore. My mind was made up, I had no choice but to sell the place. Of course, the financial situation was another reason. It really broke my heart.

April 2016

April 1: Reta makes a deal to sell the house to the Burt's.

April 16: Reta is back in Alabama. Mary Grace had been referred to a surgeon concerning her lifelong condition on her leg, so, I wanted to be there to discuss her options with the doctor. She let him know quickly he was not cutting on her leg. And I [Reta] totally agreed.

We moved more stuff from Mary Grace’s to storage, boarded up another window that had been broken out and then I called an Auctioneer to come and pick up anything that was left. At this point I felt I had done all I could do.

April 26: Reta heads back to Florida.

August 2016

August 11: The sale of the house closes.

Spring, 2016

March 15: John’s 50th Birthday

Tyler is 24 years old

Michael Fuller is 45

Rodney is 46

April 8: TAL Episode "For Your Consideration" available for download.

This is the first (aired) segment produced by Brian since John's death.

April/Approx: Tyler's fourth daughter born.

April 23: Photos of Tyler's children's clothes, still in John's laundry room

May 23: Ervin Heard sentenced to six months in jail and 24 months probation

Summer, 2016

June 7: Cheryl turns 44

August: Cheryl and Jeff's 13th Anniversary.

August 23: Jeff Dodson elected mayor of Woodstock.

Fall, 2016

October 6: Cami and Tyler married

November 7: Jeff Dodson installed as Mayor of Woodstock. Jeff has unseated a 13 year incumbent. And everyone is calling Cheryl "The first lady."

November: Mary Grace's 90th Birthday

December 24: John's friend posts a condolence

2017

March 15: John’s 51st Birthday

Tyler is 25 years old

Michael Fuller is 46

Rodney is 47

Tuesday, March 28: S-town Podcast Released

Tyler posts pictures of the maze dying, and overgrown

April 4: New Complaint Against Tyler filed

Wednesday, April 5: Tyler shoots Skyler's dog in front of her kids. He says Skyler's dog was trying to hurt John's dog, Pipsqueak

"The Truth" about the incident

April 10: Tyler's Current Tattoo/Piercing Establishment

John's Tomb stone looks like this now. Grave looks like this.

Tyler sells an interview to the Daily Mail and poses with John's dog, Pipsqueak.

Photo of John's blue school bus on Tyler's property.

May 21 (Approximate): At Green Pond Cemetery John gets a head stone

Back of headstone. Another photo of the headstone.

Front of headstone with Tyler's headstone in the foreground

June 1: Cheryl posts photographs of items Kellye Burt allowed her to take from the house.

June 7: Cheryl turns 45 years old.

Picture of John and Mary Grace's fireplace taken by a visitor

June 10: Criminal proceedings pushed to Fall; while prosecutors seek permission to use podcast recordings against Tyler.

Initially, Goodson was charged with five counts of first-degree theft of property, two counts of first-degree forgery, one count of third-degree trespassing and one count of second-degree possession of a forged instrument. However, a grand jury met in April and brought the number of charges up to 25, including 13 second-degree criminal trespass charges, two counts of burglary and two charges of forgery.
This month, a new indictment will be coming down that will replace the April indictment, taking off five of the criminal trespass charges, changing the forgery charges to possession of a forgery instrument and would include victims as being Mary Grace, McLemore and any of McLemore’s heirs. Jones said the additional charges came after he and his team listened to “S-Town” and heard Goodson talk about some of the things he took from the property.

Wednesday, June 14: Tyler arrested for the early April 6 shooting of Jake and Skyler's pit bull. Apparently, Jake's pit bull had John's dog Pipsqueak, in his jaws, and was shaking him, trying to kill him. As the story goes, Jake was holding his pit bull by his collar, and Tyler shot the pit bull in the head. Tyler subsequently paid over $1,000 dollars to get Pipsqueak out of the vet. Jake did not press charges, but the police investigated the shooting, and ultimately arrested Tyler.

June 16: Original date for Tyler's trial now pushed to Falll. Tyler faces charges for trespassing, for theft of the busses, 18-wheeler, truck and Mercedes. Tyler also faces forgery charges for forging John's signature when he sold the truck and Mercedes.

June 16: New York Times covers Tyler's arrest for shooting Jake's dog

Tyler feels like he has done nothing wrong. He has bills of sale for the buses and 18 wheeler.

Tyler says the police told him he could take the buses and 18-wheeler.

Tyler says there is no way they can prove he forged anything. But he said that when he didn't know that Reta had found out about the truck and Mercedes.

June 19: Tyler released an on $21,000 bond for animal cruelty and reckless endangerment

August: Cheryl and Jeff's 14th Anniversary.

October 16: Tyler pleads guilty to theft

November: Mary Grace's 91st Birthday

2018
http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2018/02/woman_receives_3_million_judge.html

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
First of all, thanks to a_magumba for supporting my last post even though so few people read it, haha
As promised, here is part 2 of my trip to the deep south. I woke up in Asheville, tired after nearly 2 days straight of walking around in heat. Needless to say, we didn't leave the inn for a little bit. The room was kind of cold from air conditioning, but the moment I stepped outside, I couldn't have gotten into that car soon enough. Why did I even bring a hoodie again? Does it even get cold in the south?
The plan for the day was an hour or two at Lake Winnepesaukah, then hitting up the five alpine coasters in Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg. We must have arrived at Lake Winnepesaukah around 12:30 PM. I didn't really know what to expect from this park, and I still don't really know what I think of it. We parked in what I guess was a parking lot, but it was pretty much just a bunch of scattered gravel. It had just rained on our drive there, so it was kind of wet. We walked to the entrance gate, which felt super casual and old school, then bought hand stamps and proceeded inward.
The park was very, very odd to me. I've never experience anything old school like this before. It was just... surreal. The flats were very classic, like I've only seen in pictures, they were unthemed with carnival-style casual entrances lacking a queue, and scattered around the main entrance area. I kept walking towards the back, bewildered, and eventually found this weird ass dark ride named Wacky Factory on my left. So we went and began the day with that.
Wacky Factory (1 time)
Huh. This was... this was a weird ride. The cars pushed open all the doors themselves, which made sense, but was still really weird to me. All the rooms after that consisted of flashy lights, mirrors, and eventually, some giant bus thing that honked at us. I remember one really low clearance tunnel that I feel like could have offed the head of someone seven feet tall easily.
I really have no idea what I think of this ride. It was strange. Very strange. I'm just not used to old school stuff like this, so I don't feel right reviewing it. But from my perspective, it felt kind of lazy and poorly made. Again, I need to give it another chance some day.
Following that, we walked further down and found the main attraction, right across from that closed wild mouse.
Cannon Ball (Credit #74, Ranking #47, 1 time)
This ride was so short, but it was pretty good. I'm not going to lie, I prefer GASM at SFOG, but it was still really fun. Plus, my first ever exposure to buzz bars. And yes, I did hear the buzz sound. The airtime was fun, the ride was smooth (much, much smoother than GASM), and had a nice layout and paint job. I enjoyed it- not my favorite wooden coaster, obviously, but it was very enjoyable, and is easily subject to rising in my rankings.
Sky Ride (1 time)
I was weirded out by this sky ride for sure. I expected to get off it on the other side, only to be surprised that they cheaped out and went with only one station. Instead it awkwardly went towards the ground across the lake, then turned around. They were also spacing each car one apart- I guess to put less stress on the ride system, since the park was pretty empty that day.
This ride was great. It gave such an awesome view of the park, as well as the lake below. I could see plenty of enormous fish swimming in the lake, could see the lake stretching off in the distance, paddle boaters beneath me, Boat Chute off in the distance, and just about everything I needed to. I much prefer the feeling of the ski lift style to the full-on enclosed gondola. Here's to hoping they won't murder this one too, because I loved it. I just wish there was another station at the other end- the ride back felt repetitive.
Antique Cars (1 time)
... I have no idea why I rode this. Honestly, I don't know why I rode this. I guess I just wanted to say I rode an antique cars ride? The line was kind of long, the operations were slow, and there weren't enough cars on the track. Eventually I drove it around and... I guess there's not much to say. It was just a cars ride around a grassy lawn, with the occasional rock or statue somewhere. It was kind of cool, but it wasn't really amazing. Again, not sure what compelled me to do this.
Wacky Worm (Credit #75, Ranking #92, 1 time)
But then I did my first ever wacky worm credit. My dad and I were the only people riding this thing. We actually got some pretty intense laterals going around that final turn, not going to lie. The ride was pretty much how I expected- a goofy little transportable coaster. But hey, you know what they say: a credit's a credit. So don't you forget it.
The Boat Chute (1 time)
Whoa, what a weird ride. I just recently learned it's almost 100 years old, which is really impressive. I didn't know anything about this ride, so I was hoping it wouldn't just be a simple lift hill and drop like half of the boat rides in the world. Instead, we dove deep into this dark tunnel. For about three minutes. Actually, probably more. Most definitely more. It just kept going. It was quiet, warm, dark, and peaceful in there. I rather liked it- though the little cracks of light were unfortunate. Of course, eventually that abyss ended and we climbed up a real clankity lift hill. I love noisy old-fashioned lift hills, so this was a very pleasant surprise.
After landing from the (somewhat decent) drop, we got a spray that just kept going. And as in just kept going, I mean that it began raining right after the ride ended. And once we got under the roof at the loading dock, it turned into an absolute downpour. We decided to book it to Matterhorn after a while, since it was just a couple dozen feet away and under an umbrella, while the rain continued obliterating the dry ground.
Matterhorn (1 time)
This was the first time I've ever done this model of flat ride. I did it while it was raining outside, so every now and then I got a nice little spray from the air. I think this ride might have pushed my dad a little with its spinning. He didn't look entirely thrilled by it. I, on the other hand, loved it. Well, maybe he did too, but hell knows. It was just plain fun, and the swinging cars made it even better. It must have been pretty close to banking 90 degrees through those turns at points.
After Matterhorn, I didn't really feel like doing much more, and I wanted time for alpine coasters. The rain calmed down, I stuck my hand in a clown trash can for a photo from my dad, and then we headed back out to the car as the skies began to clear. Again, I don't really know what my opinions on this park were. I know one thing that made it worse for me was that all the operators were dead inside. Entirely dead inside. Extremely unprofessional too- sitting on fences, talking on phones, chewing gum- and again, being totally dead inside. That was by far the worst part of the experience.
Almost instantly we entered Tennessee. I guess parks really have a thing for erecting themselves on the borders of states for some reason. We drove east to Pigeon Forge- well, more like my dad drove as I listened to some random Green Day or blink-182 album and tried to sleep. After an hour or two of driving, we arrived in Pigeon Forge. Before even reaching the main road, there it was on my right. Goats on the Roof.
Goats on the Roof (Credit #76, Ranking #3, 2 times)
Yes, you read that right. Yes, I consider this to be a credit. It's my list, not yours, so just calm down. I rode it and felt like it was worthy of being called a roller coaster, as well as a credit. ~~Butterflies can eat my ass though~~ That being said, they are undeniably different from normal roller coasters, and I found the experience near impossible to compare to other coasters. So I decided to rank them on their own, separately. Calm down, it's not my fourth favorite coaster of all time. Just my fourth favorite of the alpine coasters I've ridden.
It was still hot in Pigeon Forge. What a shocker. Humid too, but not nearly as noticeably so. We paid for our ride, then lined up in the short queue and hopped right onto the little Wiegand car.
This was my first ever alpine coaster. Well, second, after Matterhorn Bobsleds ;) After riding this, I could officially say that I am an alpine coaster sucker. The lift hill being long wasn't a problem at all. It was so fun to look around. I hated that holding down the brakes put you in an uncomfortable position, but it was acceptable. Needless to say, I didn't pull the brakes once until the end. The ride was trimmed a lot though, so it wasn't full speed. I didn't see the camera coming, so in my photo, I was turned around as I admired the scenery- I found The Island at Pigeon Forge, but didn't see Dollywood. I kept looking for it everywhere.
After riding it, my dad and I paid for the cheaper second ride and did it again. I would have ridden it all day if it weren't for the fact that the other four existed. So off we went. And just around the corner we hit our second target.
Smoky Mountain Alpine Coaster (Credit #77, Ranking #1, 2 times)
This was definitely my favorite. Not only was it really long, but... the lift hill. Holy crap, what a lift hill. It was just silent- dead silent. I slowly crept up the cable, hearing the occasional clunk below the wheels, but other than that, I was just surrounded by trees everywhere. I heard so many sounds from wildlife, and it smelled gorgeous. That lift hill could have gone even slower than it already was and I wouldn't have cared.
This ride also seemed to be trimmed, but it was really long, and most of it was hidden inside the trees. At one point we went by an ugly construction site, but hey, construction is necessary for beautification. So that's alright.
This ride actually had a longer line, and we came back later at night to ride it again to a line of similar length. At night, this thing was amazing. It's too bad the lights were so ugly- there were a lot of them, but they kept flashing bright barfy unrelated colors out of unison, which bothered me. I would have preferred it was mostly static, which some of it was- that or it was lit up bright white or blue. But I swear, at night, this thing must have been untrimmed. It hauled like crazy. There was nothing in this world like it. I wish I could have done it forever.
Jurassic Jungle Boat (1 time)
Flashing back to the daytime, while I was in line, Guy_With_A_Stick told me to go on Jurassic Jungle Boat- something I didn't even know existed until then. We found it just across from The Island, completely open to the air. The facade was actually pretty nice looking. I liked the weird statues of explorers standing near the entrance, though I did mistake them for people in line at least a couple times. My dad and I paid, got on the boat, and took off.
Well, "took off" is the wrong phrase for sure. This thing was slow as hell. The theming was nice, and the ride was longer than I expected, but it was so goddamn slow. Absolutely painfully so. Not to mention that it was really rough and I'm 90% sure this thing wasn't even a boat. It kept grinding along the ground uncomfortably through the whole ride. Did I mention that this thing was slow? Because it was. And it stopped all the time too, for a long amount of time. I have no idea why.
There was one point where a dino spit water on my neck, right at me, and I didn't see it coming. I loved the T-rex walking on hot cinders, and the animatronics at the very end. The finale where you get pushed up on a tilt track would have been so much cooler if the whole ride wasn't so slow that any action was exciting for simply being anything other than nothing.
Not going to lie, as nice as it looked, this isn't something I'd pay to ride again. If they get actual boats, or speed up the ride system, I'd come back. But as it is, this is just not an attraction worthy of revisiting.
We continued our scheduled programming down that main street of Pigeon Forge. Good God was this place tacky. It felt like Las Vegas without the gambling, and without the charm (which they don't really exactly have in the first place). Everything was brightly colored, there were very few trees, and it felt like everything was either mini golf or go-karts. Or those weird ass flat rides that look like they're trying to murder you. You know, one of the dozens.
Luckily, we escaped this hellhole into the mountains of Gatlinburg. Wow, what a gorgeous place. It was misting lightly when I arrived at my next attraction, so the rails were wet.
Gatlinburg Mountain Coaster (Credit #78, Ranking #2, 1 time)
This thing was very similar to Smoky Mountain. The lift hill was also enclosed in the forest, quiet and gorgeous. Not as nice, but still nice. The trees were much closer as well. This was the first alpine coaster I rode that I truly felt was untrimmed. It was absolutely insane and off the rails (but not literally). Great laterals, great speed, and great length. Above all, great scenery. Gatlinburg is absolutely gorgeous.
I would have ridden this again at night... but you'll see later that things didn't exactly go my way.
Rowdy Bear Mountain Coaster (Credit #79, Ranking #5, 1 time)
This was my least favorite of the alpine coasters simply because it felt much more ordinary. While the other ones all had their little quirks and specialties, this one felt pretty dull. It was really short, too. I honestly can't remember too much from this one- I know I took my phone out and took some photos on the lift hill (shhh don't tell), and that when it ended we were right next to some hotel or apartment complex across a small river. Some guy on the balcony was waving at us as he sat and observed.
We then went upstairs, as there was an alpine glider up there, and did that.
Rowdy Bear Alpine Glider (1 time)
This was much more expensive than the alpine coaster, and I wouldn't say it was really worth it. I liked how free the restraint system was- felt more like a zipline to me, but with a metal rail and a lift hill. So off I went up the short lift hill. The ride's turns disappointed me, as they felt like an Arrow suspended coaster crawling through heavily overbanked helices. It swayed, rather than keeping me flying out. At one point I took my right hand off the bar to wave at the camera, despite them telling me not to. That was stupid. I hit some kind of trims on the rails with my hand, then swung side to side uncontrollably as I tried to grasp for the handlebar again. So don't do that.
The ride just wasn't that great. It seemed like it had a lot of potential, but I just didn't enjoy it for some reason. I know it's a prototype, and that might be why it was so small, but I wish they had done more with it. Or maybe cut out the second dueling track and make the original one longer.
From there, we continued onto the last alpine coaster... and what a trip that was.
Ober Gatlinburg Ski Mountain Coaster (Credit #80, Ranking #4, 1 time)
Had I known how hard and costly it would be to obtain this stupid credit, I don't think I would have followed through with it.
The first thing we struggled with was finding parking. It cost money to park in the lot, but we did it anyway. On the way out we found this little tiny turtle dude trying to commit suicide as it walked away from a river and towards a street. We and a few other strangers set it back to its home, then we continued on towards the tram.
Agh... the tram. The tram took forever to arrive, and it of course cost money to take to this little place up there called "Ober Gatlinburg". The views were great, and it was a truly unique experience. Also, the guy we had narrating for both the trip up and back was hilarious. The ride took forever.
Eventually we reached the top. I intended to do the alpine slide as well, but it was closed, so I just did the coaster. Which was... it was rough. Very much so. It wasn't built by Wiegand, so I much preferred the seating arrangement; you didn't have to put yourself in an uncomfortable position to keep the handles down. The ride felt lonely where it was in the corner and in the trees, but at least it was untrimmed and it had actual airtime, somehow. My only problems with it were the roughness and the lonely feeling of where it was, though it could just be that we rode it at sunset.
My dad and I got some water and the carameliest caramel corn we've ever had and went back down the mountain. At the bottom we found this pizza place just across the street called Big Daddy's Pizza. My dad chose an outside table, from which we were facing towards our parking lot.
While we were waiting, we saw a little flicker out of the corner of our eyes. And as the sun set, dozens upon dozens of lightning bugs came to life, lighting up the ground in the distance. It was the first time I've ever seen one, and it was wonderful.
Then, lighting up the sky in the distance, was a big ass flash of lightning over the hill we just came down. That was not the first time I've ever seen that bitch. I said that if it happened again and I heard thunder, I was going in. Our food arrived, and I was on edge for the next minute until another flash happened, much closer this time (about 1-2 miles away), and I got up, losing control of my body yet again (a feeling that, being an intense astraphobe, I am far too familiar with) and said "Okay I'm going inside," ditching my dad.
We ate inside, and after we were done, I stepped back outside to find it pitch black and pouring rain. Some dude was leaning up against the wall in front of us and muttered, "Don't like the weather, wait five minutes." I asked if he'd seen any lightning and he said no. And a little after that an enormous flash lit up the sky as lightning struck less than a mile away. So I basically chickened out and had my dad go get the car, a couple blocks away, and drive it to the restaurant. I waited a bit inside, building up confidence, and then sprinted out into the car. I scraped my arm against a railing while doing so. I am staring at that scar while I type this. A battle wound indeed.
I don't remember any lightning after that, but Gatlinburg Mountain Coaster was obviously off the table. We drove back towards Pigeon Forge, where the rain had stopped entirely and the skies were clear. Since it was around 10:40, we took the last twenty minutes to hit up Smoky Mountain at night.
After that, we went to this place called Mad Dog's Creamery, where my shameful cone-eating skills were put to the test. And finally, around midnight, we got to the hotel and slumped down into our beds. In the morning awaited what was hyped up to be possibly the greatest park of all time...
And in the morning right now awaits more of my crappy side job. So I'm going to go hit the hay now, but hopefully repeat this pattern and post part 3 tomorrow. For anyone who made it through all of this, thank you for reading. I really do appreciate it. There's still two more parts to go, so I'd be glad to know someone's reading, ha ha. Even if no one did, I'd write 'em anyway. ;) Gnight.
TL;DR: As if.

Things Learned from L. C. Coon (Dad)

If candles had been on a cake, it would have taken quite a “huff and puff” to have blown them out. A few months back Dad (L.C. Coon) celebrated his 88thbirthday. Some parents deserve the honor the Bible instructs children give. Lanehart Calvin (thankfully branded L.C.) and Faye Coon do. A bit back, my blog was Five Things I Learned from Opal Faye Frazier Coon (Mom). Thanks for reading these somewhat longer ruminations.

The School of Family📷

Lessons thoroughly learned are those coming from constantly being in a particular environment. It is the reason business people and missionaries enter an “Immersion Program” for language study. For good or bad, family life is an “immersion program.” Parents’ approach to life shapes a youngsters future.
Rodney and I were immersed in a family marked by consistency, integrity and the unspoken practice of “the Golden Rule.” It was not perfect. There is no perfect family. After reading about Abram and his descendants, our family was not remotely as dysfunctional as that bunch.
Back to Dad! L.C. Coon is a quality amalgamation: responsible, committed, progressive, caring, interested, interesting, a life-long learner, self-educated and trustworthy. Other positive adjectives and adverbs could be on the list. The arriving generation would do well to consider Dad as a model. His approach has worked.

Be Quietly Influential

📷Time stoops all shoulders. A few years back, Dad stood 6’ tall. These days, he is a bit shorter. In most areas of life, Dad will always stand considerably taller than 6’. Seldom do I visit, without at least one man much younger than me expressing how Dad has influenced him.
We don’t give such validation to men who are inconsistent. As was true of Mom, I could write more about Dad than you’d read. However, do indulge me. It may be worth it. We were immersed in several things by the daily experience of living at the home of L.C. and Faye Coon.

Work Hard and Work Smart

When he was 80, Dad would still have been able to work me to exhaustion. In his world, work is what men do. In his mid-teens Dad cut timber. He is familiar with the life of a share-cropper. Dad’s early morning📷 departure to drive 30 miles to work as a roustabout for H.L. Hunt Oil Company was the norm of my childhood. Oilfield work is hard now. It was much harder then.
Dad wanted his family to progress. so he always had a second job or entrepreneurial enterprise. A quick list of ways he added to the family finances included growing red-worms and night crawlers, (Yes, in the 1960s, fishermen would stop by the house. Mom, or on the rare occasion I; would go to the “worm shed” to count out 50 or 100 worms.) Other endeavors: accounting for small businesses, completing Tax Returns, reading water meters, delivering live bait and fishing tackle across South Louisiana, owning a country store and after “retirement” from H.L. Hunt his own oilfield service company and owning multiple self-storage businesses. I missed some. Dad didn’t waste time. In the areas of his expertise and interest, Dad not only worked hard; he worked smart. He knew how to do things quickly.

Total Commitment to Jesus and a Local Church

Around 19, Dad was “born again” as instructed in John 3:5; carried out by following the instructions in Acts 2:38. He became part of a Pentecostal group who are radically monotheistic. To learn more about the beliefs and the Pentecostal experience Dad had send me a note. You might discover that you’d like to experience something similar for yourself. Influences on Dad’s conversion include heralded names, Evangelist W.E. Gambling and Ruth Caughron.
Shady Grove is a rural church in Louisiana’s LaSalle Parish. At Dad’s conversion, Shady Grove was one of the strongest Pentecostal churches in all Louisiana. Again, iconic people shaped him from a convert into a committed disciple. A.L. Clanton pastored Shady Grove immediately before becoming Editor in Chief for the United Pentecostal Church. Pastors Clanton, O.R. Fauss, and T.C. Bonnette among others put something into Dad. Without exaggeration, Dad has held every “job” in a church other than Ladies Ministry Director.
For decades he served as Shady Grove’s church secretary/treasurer. Most Sundays Dad spent several hours preparing church deposits and recording contributions. We were part of late night prayer shifts, barbecues to raise money for Sheaves for Christ and going to Jonesville to construct a church building for Church Planter Ben Deville. Dad has a Bible-based view. Decisions were screened through Bible truth. It seems the best way to do life.

Appreciation of the Bible

Dad has read through the Bible dozens of times. This year, he is reading it yet again. By November of a given year, he has likely completed the reading for that year. He has already started again.
He has heard thousands of sermons and Bible Studies. If Dad tells me, “That man is one of the best preachers I’ve ever heard,” the preacher received quite a compliment. Notes from things he has heard preached📷 are distinctively written in Dad’s Bible. Of course, I do suppose the only way to have a Biblical worldview is to know quite a bit about what the Bible says. Dad knows a lot. By observation and application, I gained an appreciation of the Bible.

Do What They Say Can’t Be Done

Dad was not a gambler, but he was willing to take meaningful measurable risks. In the early ’70s, my parents bought a country store. Their banker said, “Don’t do it. It is too great of a risk.” Dad and Mom had already counted the cost and calculated how it could work. They bought the store, rebranded it L.C.’s Grocery and paid it off in a few years.
He didn’t just tackle difficult things for our family’s benefit. In the 1960s, every home in the communities of Sharptown and Nebo depended on a well or cistern. Wells depend on the water-table. Cisterns depend on rainwater. Neither source is assured. Neither source is guaranteed to be usable. Before my teens, Dad and other community leaders pursued grant funds for a water system equalling that in any city. Of course, where it can be 1/2 mile or more between houses, it takes a lot of expensive piping.
A rural water system is expensive. Also, naysayers in the community were active in their opposition. Some thought, the water was going to be too expensive. Others imagined a government water system would give the federal government more control over their life or that the water might contain some unhealthy additive. (For this to make any sense, you have to understand how we southern country folk are a bit skeptical of new things. So it was and in many ways still is.) Dad and the others were undeterred. He visited home after home making the sales pitch to get home-owners to sign up.
A minimum number of participants was required to receive the grant. As the deadline neared to have an adequate number of participants the applicants lacked a few. Dad revisited those who had rejected his prior presentation. The group found enough participants, got the grant money and made it happen. If they said it couldn’t be done – Dad seemed to see that as a challenge. Without arrogance and with no bragging about it later – he just got it done.

Retirement is for Someone Else

During the oil crisis of the 1980s oil producers reduced staff. H.L. Hunt Oil offered early retirement. Dad took it. Within weeks Dad had established his own one-man company doing the same work he’d done for Hunt. Dad knows everything there is to know about the production side of getting oil out of the ground. He never lacked for clients.
In a decade or so, Dad retired again. It didn’t last. A small self-storage facility in Midway (a suburb of Jena) came on the market. It was Jena’s only self-storage. Dad and Mom bought it, cleaned it up, expanded it and ran it until it was time to retire.
Retirement didn’t last! In a few years Dad built a similar facility on the other side of town. In 2017, when Dad was 87 they sold their business and retired. Maybe? We will see if this one holds! Type A personalities are never ready to retire. Dad must be a “type A.” That trait certainly came to Rodney and me. I’m not able to envision spending four days of each week fishing or on a golf course. Work is enjoyable, particularly if what you do makes a difference and adds value.

Present Yourself Well

Dad has always been elegant. He and mom are an attractive couple. Dad has stood tall and has a ready smile. His head-full of silver hair is impossible to miss. Some men slouch their way through life. Not Dad. Even now, with the impact of years, if the situation calls for it the will is there. His shoulders go back in the posture that has defined him for a lifetime. Pastor Jerry Dean and Evangelist Tim Mahoney, among others, have mentioned how elegant Dad presents himself.
Until recently, Dad’s attendance Sunday church services were coat and tie events. You didn’t wear your gardening clothes to church! It was ingrained, look your best, even on a budget. I’ve not pulled off the look as well as Dad and my smile is a great deal slower to arrive. Would that my smile were more like Dad’s.

Make Time for People

Dad’s cliché to describe a talkative person is, “He can talk the horns off a 📷brass billy goat!” Some days the phrase could likely be applied to Dad. L. C. Coon can get a conversation going with anyone about anywhere. In part, Dad’s quiet influence has come as a result of his willingness to listen. It wasn’t a pretense. Dad was genuinely interested in people and their story.
With his getting into such conversations we listened in on some tall tales. In the late ‘60s we stopped at a small tourist shop in Maggie Valley, NC. An old fellow ran the place. He had all the mannerisms of a true hillbilly. Dad got him started in a conversation. In short order, we learned that Maggie Valley was named after his long-dead wife Maggie. Of course, he’d needed to have been 150 years old for that to actually have been true. The problem was with this particular teller of tall tales was that when he started you couldn’t get him to stop. Dad is too considerate to walk away with anyone still talking. Finally, the rest of us went to the car. It took Dad forever to find a breaking point.
It was not just casual talk either. For decades many people who had no other person they could trust brought their story to Dad. He listened, if possible he gave advice. Often, he would listen to the same story again later. Confidences were not divulged. He was a patient listener who cared about the person talking. I’m not always as patient as Dad.

Family Vacations Matter

Some of the money from Dad’s second job was spent on an annual vacation. We aren’t sure how the idea of vacation became part of our family culture. In those years, a significant percentage of that population never left Lasalle Parish. My grandparents were not given to travel. However, the ambition to travel came. I’m glad it did.
Don’t misunderstand about “family vacation.” We did not travel to Hawaii, New York, or Fiji. The money available didn’t take us far but it was fun. For 5-7 days we headed to places like:

Gatlinburg and the Smokey Mountain National Park. Did anybody else stay at the Wilson Motel in Gatlinburg?
Biloxi was a destination if money was tight. Another year it was Destin, Florida before Destin was much of anything.
Hot Springs and being entertained by the auction houses for free along the main drag or paying a bit to see a chicken play the piano.
Branson, Missouri became a preferred spot. The Baldknobbers, The Presley Family, Foggy River Boys, Shepherd of the Hills, Silver Dollar City, the Corn-Crib Theatre, and the Family Fun Spot offered enough to bring us back. Did anybody else stay at the Jesse James Motel or the Silver Slipper? How about breakfast at Little Pete’s?

Those vacation trips were when our family spent the most time together. Norma and I applied the “family vacation matters” principle to our own life.

Criticism is a Waste Breath!

I’ve seldom heard Dad be critical of anyone. As a child, I never heard him speak ill of a pastor or any person in the church at Shady Grove. To do such a thing would affect how Rodney and I viewed that person. The decision to seldom criticize is wise!
++++
There are some areas where I’m my father’s son. In most ways, Dad will be the best of the “Coon Crowd,” which includes several preachers, authors, educators, and entrepreneurs. There will be no day when it is not an honor to say, “L.C. Coon is my dad.” My sons are grateful for the times they spent with Dad in the oilfield or just hanging around their place in Sharptown. Even now, our “holy children” – Kaden, Wyatt, and Elsie revel in Dad, “Grandpa” to them, getting down in the floor to play.
What a ride it has been! I’m thankful the ride continues.
Unfortunately, the lessons I learned have not always been applied. Yet, I’m fortunate to have been immersed in the family of L.C. & Faye Coon.

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My father was a great and wise man. From pastor to pastor, he taught me many things about being the best pastor i can be. It's a great read!